Blog Archive

Wednesday, June 23, 2010


I'm up at 4 AM, as usual...some kind of family curse. My Mom has it, my Grandma had oldest Son has the beginnings of it.
Doesn't matter what I do, how late I stay up(rarely past 10 PM)...I wake at 4.
Sometimes earlier,very rarely later.
I have accepted's better than 1:30.
There are benefits.
I have constructed a place to hang out, in the back yard, with this earliest of rising in mind.
Porch, fences, plantings and the placement of the Smithy, and other outbuildings to afford maximum privacy...
I prefer Nakedness...which is problamatic in Town.
The Cowboy Pool has been moved up close...skinny dipping at 4:30, by torchlight, or starlight....
Wake and Bake....(smoke a joint) and cigarettes...
This is My Time...the Familia is asleep.(Eldest is inconsistant with his manifestation of the Curse, as yet)
I headlight...or write....or just sit, and listen to the dogs, cows...a donkey, somewhere to the east....
My ducks wake up at 4:30, rooster at 5:30, geese around 6:30...unless I venture out there and disturb them.
This is when I can Think.
The construction of Infrastructure is proceeding apace, consistent with the Vision I had during the first month or two here.
I Visualise it's continuance.
Of late, thanks to Facebook, and the resultant finding of me, I think about my Life...remember.
MAS is on my mind, this morning...I am to meet up with her in Dallas in a few weeks.
Lots of forgotten emotions,there.
Forgotten experiences.
Pain, heartbreak...and good times.
Now, with 20 years since I last saw her, I realise that I loved her.
Terribly and unrequitedly..
We were the best of friends, true...we shared all manner of deep, dark things...
But I always wanted more.
I was putty in her my later regret.
Should be an interesting trip to Dallas.


Naked on the back porch at 4 am...
Coffee, cigarettes and night-sounds.
Chillin' in the wheelchair I keep there.(I find them quite comfortable, as they are designed to be sat in full-time...(sigh.))
After much pain and suffering and effort,(and a lot of help from wife) the Smithy is almost finished....
all that's left is the East Wall and the electrical.
If I can procure a cheap crackle-box welder and the smaller Oxy-Acetylene tanks, I'll be set.
Much still needs to be retrieved from the Old House, but that can wait a little longer.
The Library is next...needs a floor, a couple of windows, and perhaps a French Door.
My Grandma's place has yielded a great pile of tools, furniture, and assorted knick-knacks pertaining to the History of Us....Pop's Elk Horns, souveneers from the south Pacific, during the War...and from their many travels...
Finally, I'll have a place for my Books, and all that stuff.
All that's left, as far as Infrastructure goes, is Insulating the House (waiting on the compressor from G-Ma's)...and building Drunk Uncle a Shack.
He's been in the Fire Hazard RV, last Fall and this Spring....he won't be back till next Spring, so I have plenty of time,I reckon.
So, it's Library, then all the moving (out of the Old Place)...then a long break from construction.
Which is much needed.
On Memorial Day, I was drunk, in the Cowboy Pool...there is, apparently, a different species of algae here, in Town....I slipped, and tore two muscles in my right thigh...tumbled into the mud. I was certain that I had finally broken my dead Femur...and since no one was answering my shouts and frantic phone calls, I called the ambulance....crawled/limped up to the house, shouting curses with every movement....(I'm very Tenacious)...and waited...
Adductor Magnus and Quadracept, Torn.
Wheelchair, full time, for 4-5 days....peeing in a damn jug(ugh!)...
I have resolved to stop drinking....
...which entails finding the Root of the Reason why I drink in the first place...
...Which is the purpose of this Rambling, anyway.....

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Port Huron Statement, Revisited

"We regard men as infinitely precious and possessed of unfulfilled capacities for reason, freedom, and love. In affirming these principles we are aware of countering perhaps the dominant conceptions of man in the twentieth century: that he is a thing to be manipulated, and that he is inherently incapable of directing his own affairs. We oppose the depersonalization that reduces human beings to the status of things -- if anything, the brutalities of the twentieth century teach that means and ends are intimately related, that vague appeals to "posterity" cannot justify the mutilations of the present. We oppose, too, the doctrine of human incompetence because it rests essentially on the modern fact that men have been "competently" manipulated into incompetence -- we see little reason why men cannot meet with increasing skill the complexities and responsibilities of their situation, if society is organized not for minority, but for majority, participation in decision-making. Men have unrealized potential for self-cultivation, self-direction, self-understanding, and creativity. It is this potential that we regard as crucial and to which we appeal, not to the human potentiality for violence, unreason, and submission to authority. The goal of man and society should be human independence: a concern not with image of popularity but with finding a meaning in life that is personally authentic: a quality of mind not compulsively driven by a sense of powerlessness, nor one which unthinkingly adopts status values, nor one which represses all threats to its habits, but one which has full, spontaneous access to present and past experiences, one which easily unites the fragmented parts of personal history, one which openly faces problems which are troubling and unresolved: one with an intuitive awareness of possibilities, an active sense of curiosity, an ability and willingness to learn.
This kind of independence does not mean egoistic individualism -- the object is not to have one's way so much as it is to have a way that is one's own. Nor do we deify man -- we merely have faith in his potential.
"-from the Port Huron Statement,SDS,1962

I started here:
...and wandered around a bit, on Wiki and such....till I ended up here:

I have, in my time, kind of naturally been drawn to the just fit with my personality, my sense of self and the obvious, if intuitive, Truth I felt in the things of the Left.
I didn't get any of this from the Right...there was always something missing...a wall that one would run up against, beyond which one was supposed to suspend critique...much like religion. I instinctively rejected Orthodoxy.
Today, I am astounded that, after a lifetime of study, I have only now discovered this document. ...which, at first glance, articulates the stance I've been flailing at for 30 years.

How has this eluded me? Has it been so well hidden? Or was I a victim, despite my best efforts, of the Right Wing's propaganda campaign against All Things Left?
I remember reading about SDS, a few times, when learning about the 60's...but there was no depth to the information I found. In retrospect, I dismissed them...along with the Weather Underground and Leary's Bunch, as Utopian Radicals, whose ideas were cool, but who lacked appreciation for Reality.
Turns out, this is what the Right has been preaching all along...
Through my wife's job, I can access current History and Social Studies books that our local High School is using, both currently and in the recent past (going back to 1985,or so). SDS is given passing mention, and (sure enough) is implied to be of the same importance and ilk as Manson and the Weathermen. It is implied that one equals the other, with no nuance.
Overall, the Sixties are equated with Drugs, in their Modern Context...and the implication is that the entire 60's Movement was a Failed One...losing out to the Rational, Free market, Radical Traditionalism of the New Right.
This document is nowhere mentioned, let alone quoted.

I believe it should be read and disseminated far and wide...if our institutions are too compromised by the prevailing Right Wing Ideology to do so, then we must.
The Right won the Culture evidenced by the recent Text Book Mullah's activities in Texas, as well as the continued (and rediculous) association of "Liberal" with "Soft Headed," and the looking down the nose, with paternalistic disdain, at anything that would contradict the Conventional Wisdom.

The mere fact that this document has been so well obscured, even to someone like me, is an indicator, perhaps, to it's Power....and the power of the Dominant Right to dictate what is "important", even without appearing to do so.
Witness the history Channel, PBS, etc...every "documentary" I've seen regarding the 60's ends with a lamentation about Manson, Altamont, Heroin and if these were the inevitable result of the behaviour and Ideals of the 60's.
In fact, the Ideals of the 60's are entirely glossed over, in favor of manner of dress, Free Love and, of course, Music.
The History of this era is a commodified shadow, an eviscerated carcass...devoid of consideration, save by escapists and malcontents.
Is it any wonder that the state of the world, for all our technological wizardry , and our perceived affluence, the state of the world hasn't changed...and that this document is as relevant now, as it was then?
The "Enemies" have, somewhat, changed...we now are to fear "Terrorists", instead of the Evil Empire (which collapsed under it's own rusty, ossified weight); "Communists", and"Socialists", are still unthinkingly lumped together...but joined, now, by Queers, Atheists, and Brown People...
Nuance, Grey Areas, are still is Intellectualism, Academia and Thought, in general.
While Environmental concepts are mouthed and, perhaps, embraced in principal...the Economic Orthodoxy prevents any real Alternatives to the current Paradigm....
The role of the Corporation, in which Family I include Think Tanks and Foundations. has grown exponentially...consolidating and expanding it's Power...over not just the physical aspects, but the minds and emotions of it's subjects.
Everything is for Sale!, and subject to crass manipulation...

It is high time for what's left of the Left in this country and world, to revisit foundational documents such as this...and begin to secede, mentally, emotionally, philosophically and physically, from the Dominant Paradigm...which has left a trail of destruction and sadness in it's wake, while enriching so few.
The Left has been parasitized by "Centrists".
A New New Left must open it's eyes, and stand up...for if the Right's Machine is allowed to continue, Darkness can only follow.

Monday, June 7, 2010


I recently learned, after 20 years, that I had a head injury….in addition to all the other injuries from my Big Wreck.
I have always known that the Wreck marked a large blank spot in my memory...a dividing line, kind of....I have no memory of the wreck itself, or of the few days on either side of it.All I know about it is what I pieced together, afterwards. I attributed this to the trauma, and then the morphine haze I woke up in....
Turns out that at first, the EMTs were less concerned with my legs than I had thought.
They were worried about the cloud on the X-ray of my head...right around the base of my skull, where it attaches to the spine. :"Water on the Brain", they called it...
It went away by the time I was done with the helicopter ride from Tomball to Hermann....
I'm wondering , now, just how much of my memory haze....before, and immediately after the due to this.
With my discovery of Facebook....and the resultant end of my Exile...I've been remembering many things I had forgotten. Mostly things before the wreck...a few things from after.
For a few years after, I had lost my mind.(again, how much is due to head trauma?)
I had this almost instinctual Urge to "Suck the Marrow Out of Life."...this is how I learned to walk so quickly....(that Tenacity is still very much a part of me.)
I drank, ran around looking for Experience....jumped out on the Road.
I call this period my Wild Years....and I only remember a broad outline, punctuated by specifics.Drink and Drugs and a kind of Mania...I was channeling Jack Kerouac and Neal Cassady.
I am sure that some of this was psychological. The whole Cop Experience, the very real sense of being unwelcome at home and around town...of wanting so badly to leave, but being unable to...having nowhere to go....all this played a part in this craziness, I'm certain.
But before the wreck?
I haven't remembered, or even realised that I didn't remember, so many things.
Now, with all these folks "finding" me,'s coming back....and, coupled with this new awareness of the head trauma...I'm really starting to wonder.
I was a Crazy Person!
I have always known's just confirmation, really...but Damn!
Add Madman to my Resume, I guess...
There are worse things.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Letter to "My" Congresscritter...

I just came across this:

...regarding Raw Milk.I've heard of this before, and while I'm not involved in the buying or selling of Raw Milk, I certainly understand the concerns of the folks who are.
I grow as much of my own food as I can manage.
This is due to economics, as well as a certain distrust of Big Ag.I have been involved in Organic Farming since before there was a name for it...and I was a Chef for many years. I have learned a lot about food, in my time, from farm to plate.
In reading the FDA's response to these folks, I am concerned about the agency's assertions that I have no right to contract, that I have no fundamental right to my own health and it's maintenance, and that I have no right to eat what I want.
For all the hollering, of late, about Big Government, one would think that Republicans would be all over this.
It is my learned opinion that this case is NOT about the health of the citizenry, or the healthfulness (or lack thereof) of Raw Milk...this is obviously Big Ag, specifically Big Milk, using the Government to stamp out competition(which is one of the hallmarks of that Free Market we hear so much about).
The same thing happened with the usurpation of the Organic Movement by Big Ag.
The Implications of this argument, by the FDA, are worrisome. They would make criminals of every Backyard Gardener, every Homesteader, every Small Farmer.
...and all for the benefit of Big Ag.
I ran into the same type of BS when I attempted to sell my eggs...sell my surplus veggies...even have my goats butchered, for my own consumption.
The Regulations on such things are needlessly burdensome on the little guys, and to the benefit of large Agribusiness.
Please look into it.
I know you have Agribusinesses among your constituency...Big Ag. The recent Supreme Court Ruling notwithstanding, the backyard gardeners, Homesteaders and anyone who wants to provide for their own sustenance are among your constituency, as well.
If the efforts of Big Ag succeed, they will have control of our food supply....and we will all be beholden to Corporations for the most basic Human Needs.
I will gladly be a criminal to stand in the way of such a usurpation.
Thanks, Josef D. Pinter.
Mason, Texas

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Satanic Cult Scare! (run away!!!)

A long time ago, in a small town in Texas, everyone went crazy.
The people of this town were, for the most part, affluent, God-fearing, traditionalist folks.
They went to work, went to church, went to the football games, went to vote and pretty much did what everybody else was doing.
Some of their kids, however, were not satisfied with this narrow world, this proscribed field of possibility.
They rebelled….mostly in superficial ways…such as different drugs than their parents, different modes of dress and appearance, different likes and different opinions on big, important things like politics, religion, sex and freedom.
This was a shock to the parents, and other adults of this small town. There was much fear…and much laying of blame. The targets of this blame-laying were the usual suspects.
Rock and Roll was among them, as it was thought to be an instrument of the Devil…engendering loose morality, sexual excess and antisocial behaviour.
Drugs were there, on the block…for much the same reasons.
But the biggest culprit in the Rebellion of Youth was insufficient religious instruction….specifically, insufficient fear of the Christian God, and Love for His Son, Jesus.
The Town began a Crusade of Revivals, Youth Groups, Hay Rides, and Summer Camps. There were assemblies called in the schools, where the evils of drugs and the importance of abstinence were hammered home.
Gangs of Prayer Warriors deployed to Hangouts and the Drag, where young folks could be found on a given Saturday night….to bring the Good News to these kids, lest they fall into Satan's clutches.
And it was all for naught.
Rock and Roll still played, drugs were done, sex was performed, and youthful fashion marched further and further away from the parents idea of good and proper.

Then, at the beginning of the school year, a new kid came around. He was from California and wore his rebellion on his sleeve…he had an earring!, and a trenchcoat, and a Devil may care attitude that really worried the adults.
His charisma and West coast charm quickly found him a small coterie of friends, and a girlfriend.
The Californian, and his crew, did all the things the rest of the kids were doing….but the most important thing they did was go and drink beer and wine-coolers in a local cemetery, at night.
This was nothing unusual, what with the cops and Jesus Freaks that were everywhere else….indeed, many of the adults had done the same thing, in their time.
One night, in the cemetery, the Californian decided to shock one of the girls that was there.
He "performed" a séance.
It was all a joke…merely something to do…but the girl was freaked out.
Apparently, she was from a particularly religious family, and thus believed in Demons and Witchcraft.
Word soon spread around town that there was a Satanic Cult hereabouts….and that they had evil designs on the town.
Rumors flew! The Cult was everywhere! They were out for blood!
There were stories of Human Sacrifice, and of Blood Drinking, and of Black Mass being performed at cemeteries. His girlfriend was rumored to be pregnant, carrying the Devil's Child, who would be sacrificed on the football field on Homecoming, which so happened to fall, that year, on the same weekend as Halloween…Samhain in the Satanist's parlance.
Cops ran around everywhere, chasing down reports of vandalism and Rituals.
Church folks prayed and held Vigils and rallies.
Hippies, Stoners, Goths and Punks were chased down and beaten…just in case.
The Principal of the school called an assembly, with the Chief of Police behind him, calling for kids to report Suspicious Activity, to Be Careful, and for any Cult Members present in the audience to Cease and Desist!

There was a Vibratory quality to the atmosphere on the afternoon and evening of Homecoming.
Vigilance! Watchfulness! Apprehension!
Would the omnipresent Prayer work to fend off the Devil and his minions?
Or would Satan's Army triumph?...perhaps as punishment for the town's lack of Faith…
For allowing such sinful behaviour to go on so blatantly for so long.

It was a near-Full Moon, as well….

Nothing happened, at all.

All the fear and insanity and oppression and warnings were over something that didn't exist…and never had existed.
But that fact didn't lessen the general feeling that the Town had dodged a bullet…that the Prayers had, indeed, worked. God had placed His shielding Hand over the Town, and the Forces of Darkness had been defeated.

I don't know what happened to the Californian…I reckon he was encouraged to switch to a different school.
Kids in the town still did drugs, and listened to music and had all manner of sex.
The only things that really changed were that the Oppression got more severe, the cops got more assholeish, and the schools got more zero-tolerance.

This really happened.
I was there.
This is the best of my recollection.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

A letter to a Reckless Cowboy.

Dear Governor Good Hair,
I noticed on yor little website (that we are paying for) that you are at War with the EPA.
Seems yor' rhetoric has blinded you to the reality.
Your site says:"Gov. Rick Perry today was joined by local government and business leaders to decry

Washington's latest attempt to extend federal control over the state's authority, an action that would undermine

Texas’ successful clean air programs and cost the state thousands of jobs. Last week, the Environmental

Protection Agency (EPA) announced its efforts to take over Texas’ federally delegated, successful Title V

permitting program and replace it with a less effective Washington-based, bureaucratic led, command and

control mandate. "
This is ludicrous, on many levels.
One, where is your evidence for the claim that Texas' Environmental Programs are working?
Have you ever been to Houston?
I see that you were in Deer Park when you announced this....did you not notice the smell?
Did you not see the plumes all over that whole area from the refineries and chemical plants?
Here, in the Reality Based Community, it is well known that Texas lags behind everybody else in Air Quality,

and most of the other Environmental things.
Your Pro Corporate Extremism is showing....might want to look to that.
Second, do you really, really think that what the Mullahs Don and Cynthia (SBOE) have been up to is good for

We already fall far behind the rest of the country in Education....we are already a laughing stock.
I guess since "everything's bigger in Texas", we should be the biggest idiots, as well?
Third, I see that you're having knee surgery....must be nice.
Who's paying for it? Us taxpayers, or do you have some Caddilac Plan from whenever it was you last had a

(non-government) job?
I am among the 5 million, or so, Texans who cannot get adequate healthcare. Is your contempt for us so great ?
Are Po Folks insufficiently American?
I saw that you are refusing to have a High Risk Insurance Pool, for folks like me that the Industry has left out in

the cold.
How is such refusal good for Texas?
Who's side are you on?!
Is the money that good from your Corporate Buddies?
On your site, regarding healthcare..."The availability of affordable, quality medical care is important to all

Texans. Governor Perry has led efforts to keep doctors and other health care professionals in the exam room

instead of in the courtroom fighting frivolous lawsuits. He has also promoted reforms to the small employer

health insurance market, and conveyed a vision for reducing the number of uninsured Texans by restructuring

federal Medicaid funding to gain flexibility and optimize investments in health care. This reduces reliance on

expensive emergency room visits for non-emergent care, and makes it easier for the working poor to buy into

employer-sponsored health coverage. "
"Frivolous Lawsuits" are NOT the damned problem!
Hyperinflation and the resulting lack of access IS!
That whole paragraph is nothing but you channelling Karl Rove.
Get out of your Mansion...visit your people....and not just your filthy rich buddies.
It'll cost upwards of $100,000 to fix me so I can work again.
Insurance won't touch me.Your Medicaid System won't take me (my wife makes more than $230 per month)
The Federal Disability/SSI won't touch me, I'm told, because I "can be fixed" (!?)
I could go on and on, but I'm hurting, and I can't sit up any more tonight....and I doubt this will have any

impact, anyway.
Enjoy your surgery.
I'll be wishing 1/16th of the pain I feel every day....on you.