http://dh1976.wordpress.com/
A hilarious exposition....esp. the comments.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Oil spill as a symptom.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/gulf-oil-spill
Five fucking pages of Oil Spill related coverage on a prominant Liberal web site.
A goodly number of them are about Avarice and Calumny, Greed and Corruption.
The Oil Industry, (Bad Petrolium (BP) stands at the front, today...but the entire Industry is just as Guilty.)...they are shamelessly attempting to manipulate the Public Perception of their Catastrophe....Hiring a mess of Temps for Obama's latest "Inspection Tour".
Openly Shopping for a favorable Judge to hear the numerous Lawsuits against them.
The CEO trying to run the media off the ruined shore....and the bastard Lying, Lying, Lying!!!
And what about the GOP (Whores and Weasels!), their Noise Machine, the Tea Party Brown Shirts,the Loud Fat Men, Hollering on the radio?
The Goddamn Drill, Baby, Drill; Deregulate Everything/Drown Government in a Frakking Bathtub- Crowd?
Well, that worked out about as well as the Deregulation of Wallstreet, and everything else!
Unmitigated Disaster!
It is a Testament to the effectiveness of their Machine, as well as an indictment of the Public Education they have despised and faught against, that so many otherwise ordinary folks still hang from their Back Bumper.
Depending on which poll you use, between 20 and 50 % of the Nation adheres to the Tomfoolery and Voodoo of the Right....in a Nation Founded, not on Superstition, but on Reason!
Surely, we are a Doomed Nation!
In every letter I've written regarding this Mess, I've included reference to Gas Digesters...to Methane Generation from Sewage, from Feedlots, from Landfills.
It is my Pet Energy (partial) Solution to our unnecessary dependance on OIL and GAS.
"Natural Gas" is a marketing term, dreamed up by Oil and Gas Companies to sell what comes out of the ass of every living thing.
they say it was needed, because "Consumers"(sigh.) were lilly livered about any mention, or mere thought, of bodily functions, and their byproducts.
The real reason for the verbal makeover was that Big Oil & Gas didn't want to compete with everything that Poops.
The 1000 septic tanks in my small county, as well as the Feedlots, the landfill and the city sewer sytem all generate Methane.Without any intervention by Humans.
All that is needed is to capture and clean (scrub) this byproduct of Life, and burn it.
The latter 3 (feedlots,etc) are repeatedly Fined by the EPA for "emitting" "Too Much" of this gas.
One can buy a city-sized digester domestically. Million or so bucks...but for a home, or neighborhood-scale digester....not here! You can get 'em in China, who is into this big time. Africa, yes...readily available.
To boot, a few years ago, while attempting to purchase such a system for my little farm, I found that the digesters sold in Tanzania for around $800...were manufactured in Georgia,USA....
But when I contacted that company, I was told that they "Couldn't sell one to me"...something about regulations.
The Right, at leats the ones I talk to about this, blame TreeHuggers for these Regulations.
I blame Big oil and Gas.
This technology actually renders what would be a potent Greenhouse Gas into a less potent form. Methane, into CO2. It takes the "Effluent" (Shit), and turns it into sterile mulch.....as in No Pathogens.
(My Shop/Smithy will be completed, soon...and I intend to build my own.Bull by the Horns, and all...)
My point is, There Are Alternatives(TAA, instead of TINA)...they are kept from us by greedy pigs, intent on the maintanance of Wealth and Power and Priviledge...
And it'll stay that way as long as a big potion of the American People continue to believe the BullShit and Hot Air from the Right.(Whom, now that it come to it, might be something of an energy source, themselves...)
Five fucking pages of Oil Spill related coverage on a prominant Liberal web site.
A goodly number of them are about Avarice and Calumny, Greed and Corruption.
The Oil Industry, (Bad Petrolium (BP) stands at the front, today...but the entire Industry is just as Guilty.)...they are shamelessly attempting to manipulate the Public Perception of their Catastrophe....Hiring a mess of Temps for Obama's latest "Inspection Tour".
Openly Shopping for a favorable Judge to hear the numerous Lawsuits against them.
The CEO trying to run the media off the ruined shore....and the bastard Lying, Lying, Lying!!!
And what about the GOP (Whores and Weasels!), their Noise Machine, the Tea Party Brown Shirts,the Loud Fat Men, Hollering on the radio?
The Goddamn Drill, Baby, Drill; Deregulate Everything/Drown Government in a Frakking Bathtub- Crowd?
Well, that worked out about as well as the Deregulation of Wallstreet, and everything else!
Unmitigated Disaster!
It is a Testament to the effectiveness of their Machine, as well as an indictment of the Public Education they have despised and faught against, that so many otherwise ordinary folks still hang from their Back Bumper.
Depending on which poll you use, between 20 and 50 % of the Nation adheres to the Tomfoolery and Voodoo of the Right....in a Nation Founded, not on Superstition, but on Reason!
Surely, we are a Doomed Nation!
In every letter I've written regarding this Mess, I've included reference to Gas Digesters...to Methane Generation from Sewage, from Feedlots, from Landfills.
It is my Pet Energy (partial) Solution to our unnecessary dependance on OIL and GAS.
"Natural Gas" is a marketing term, dreamed up by Oil and Gas Companies to sell what comes out of the ass of every living thing.
they say it was needed, because "Consumers"(sigh.) were lilly livered about any mention, or mere thought, of bodily functions, and their byproducts.
The real reason for the verbal makeover was that Big Oil & Gas didn't want to compete with everything that Poops.
The 1000 septic tanks in my small county, as well as the Feedlots, the landfill and the city sewer sytem all generate Methane.Without any intervention by Humans.
All that is needed is to capture and clean (scrub) this byproduct of Life, and burn it.
The latter 3 (feedlots,etc) are repeatedly Fined by the EPA for "emitting" "Too Much" of this gas.
One can buy a city-sized digester domestically. Million or so bucks...but for a home, or neighborhood-scale digester....not here! You can get 'em in China, who is into this big time. Africa, yes...readily available.
To boot, a few years ago, while attempting to purchase such a system for my little farm, I found that the digesters sold in Tanzania for around $800...were manufactured in Georgia,USA....
But when I contacted that company, I was told that they "Couldn't sell one to me"...something about regulations.
The Right, at leats the ones I talk to about this, blame TreeHuggers for these Regulations.
I blame Big oil and Gas.
This technology actually renders what would be a potent Greenhouse Gas into a less potent form. Methane, into CO2. It takes the "Effluent" (Shit), and turns it into sterile mulch.....as in No Pathogens.
(My Shop/Smithy will be completed, soon...and I intend to build my own.Bull by the Horns, and all...)
My point is, There Are Alternatives(TAA, instead of TINA)...they are kept from us by greedy pigs, intent on the maintanance of Wealth and Power and Priviledge...
And it'll stay that way as long as a big potion of the American People continue to believe the BullShit and Hot Air from the Right.(Whom, now that it come to it, might be something of an energy source, themselves...)
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
river 5-2010
"-'For happiness, how little suffices for happiness!' Thus spoke I once and thought myself wise. But it was a blasphemy: that have I now learned. Wise
fools speak better.
The least thing precisely, the gentlest thing, the lightest thing, a lizard's rustling, a breath, a whisk, an eye-glance- little makes up the best happiness.
Hush!
-What has befallen me: Hark! has time flown away? Do I not fall? Have I not fallen- hark! into the well of eternity?"-Zarathustra (Neitzche)Part 4 (at
Noontide)(http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Page:Thus_Spake_Zarathustra_-_Thomas_Common_-_1917.djvu/337)
There are few fish in the Llano River these days...Gar, and Humans, have eaten too many; and the Carp, some as big as my 8 year old, as well as the
Nutria, have eaten the "Cover"....an untimely flood, 4 years ago at Spawning-Time lowered the population,too...
So when I finally got down there the other day, and it was raining, I just tied up to a Billion Year Old Cliff Face...and observed.
Got high, drank Tecate, looked at all the Life Everywhere.
There were Idiots with Automatic Weapons, somewhere upstream...hollering and shooting...I gleaned that I was far enough, and low enough, that I
would be OK...
The Cliff was Alive! Spiders and their Prey, Mosses and Ferns, Trees (baby trees) established in cracks in the rock,...and the Rock!
Strata that was once Mud on the floor of a shallow sea, when the dominant species on Earth were Jellyfish.
One of the places I tied off was overhung by a Rock Shelter, 15' above the water....one can still see the char on the "cieling" from 10,000 years of
campfires.An almost unknown folk, called the Chama...who, due to a two hundred year old mispelling, gave their name to this River.
There are Rock Ovens, farther upstream, where these folks cooked...Caves and Overhangs where they lived....
The rapids just upstream from where I was the other day is known as Soldier's Crossing...artifacts from both cultures can still be found, if one knows
what to look for.
Kingfishers, Eagles, and the omnipresent Buzzards.
Deer and Black Cows....wading across the river.
A wild Turkey Hen, and her Brood, scurrying up a wide gash in the Cliff Face, past Buffalo Grass and stunted Live oaks, covered with Ball Moss.
If it wasn't for the occasional burst of machine gun fire from upstream, and the occasional truck on the mile-distant highway, I might be in any era.
a Million miles away.
fools speak better.
The least thing precisely, the gentlest thing, the lightest thing, a lizard's rustling, a breath, a whisk, an eye-glance- little makes up the best happiness.
Hush!
-What has befallen me: Hark! has time flown away? Do I not fall? Have I not fallen- hark! into the well of eternity?"-Zarathustra (Neitzche)Part 4 (at
Noontide)(http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Page:Thus_Spake_Zarathustra_-_Thomas_Common_-_1917.djvu/337)
There are few fish in the Llano River these days...Gar, and Humans, have eaten too many; and the Carp, some as big as my 8 year old, as well as the
Nutria, have eaten the "Cover"....an untimely flood, 4 years ago at Spawning-Time lowered the population,too...
So when I finally got down there the other day, and it was raining, I just tied up to a Billion Year Old Cliff Face...and observed.
Got high, drank Tecate, looked at all the Life Everywhere.
There were Idiots with Automatic Weapons, somewhere upstream...hollering and shooting...I gleaned that I was far enough, and low enough, that I
would be OK...
The Cliff was Alive! Spiders and their Prey, Mosses and Ferns, Trees (baby trees) established in cracks in the rock,...and the Rock!
Strata that was once Mud on the floor of a shallow sea, when the dominant species on Earth were Jellyfish.
One of the places I tied off was overhung by a Rock Shelter, 15' above the water....one can still see the char on the "cieling" from 10,000 years of
campfires.An almost unknown folk, called the Chama...who, due to a two hundred year old mispelling, gave their name to this River.
There are Rock Ovens, farther upstream, where these folks cooked...Caves and Overhangs where they lived....
The rapids just upstream from where I was the other day is known as Soldier's Crossing...artifacts from both cultures can still be found, if one knows
what to look for.
Kingfishers, Eagles, and the omnipresent Buzzards.
Deer and Black Cows....wading across the river.
A wild Turkey Hen, and her Brood, scurrying up a wide gash in the Cliff Face, past Buffalo Grass and stunted Live oaks, covered with Ball Moss.
If it wasn't for the occasional burst of machine gun fire from upstream, and the occasional truck on the mile-distant highway, I might be in any era.
a Million miles away.
Farm boy in Town
"Such a man feels himself a citizen of the universe, enjoying freely a spectacle that it affords, untroubled by the thoughts of death because he feels himself not really separated from those who come after him. It is in such a profound instinctive union with the stream of life that the greatest joy is to be found."
-Bertrand Russell
I'll attempt to put up pictures of the back lot where the garden and the birds are.
If it doesn't work, they're at Flikr, under Amfortas the Hippie:
These are in no particular order...I'm not sophisticated for that.
This area was a wasteland 11 months ago....10' weeds, trash, brush, a 50' diameter trash pile,10' high...and no fences. The cousin/neighbor, whom noone likes, had tried to annex this part of wife's family place...unsuccessful, but he had contributed mightily, to the pile of refuse.
Enter Amfortas.
The Chicken House has an attached Greenhouse and "Run", where chicks go when they are too big for the hutch, but not big enough for the General Population.
The lot is divided into 3 "paddocks": the garden, the "Goose Pen" (w/ the kiddie pool) and the "Foyer", where the Chx House is, the apple Trees are, and the grain and whatnot is kept...the foyer opens either into the back yard, the lot next door (another, absentee, Uncle), the Goose Place (Anserinium), or the garden.
The birds (Chickens, Ducks and Geese...next year Pheasants and Turkeys) are rotated: Winter, they clean the Garden, Spring and Summer, they're next door, mowing...Fall is the yard, the Anserinium, etc....
The Garden shown is what I could accomplish this year...(I'm Damaged, after all...)
I've got around 15-20 more of those metal beds, out at the old place.
The neighbor to the back has horses...I get all the horseshit I can carry.
And the feedlot in Town gives well rotted cowshit away...just pull up the truck and they load it.
All this, combined with kitchen scraps, and bedding from the chicken house (I use hay)makes for abundant soil where there was only clay....the topsoil having washed away over years of misuse/neglect.
If I can acquire the place next door, on the other side, I'll have enough room for more birds, and a coupla milk goats....and we're well on the way to Food Security.
I've started on gutters on the house, have one 300 gallon tank that filled up during a 1" rain....and there's an old well I'm intending to work on this summer...gonna put a hand pump on it.
The Cowboy Pool (water trough)is in one of those pics....I have an idea for a savonius rotor to circulate the h2o through a charcoal filter...
And whatever h20 I can't collect will be channeled into the Pond, close to the pool in the pic, that is slowly taking shape (hand digging...ugh!)
Didn't have any chicks hatched this year, as the house wasn't complete and the birds were being moved here over time this winter...uproar isn't conducive to Broodyness.
It's a Work in Progress...
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Outlaw
I went home, hopefully for the last time…my Grandmother's death removed the last excuse for ever returning to the places I grew up.
200 miles I went, and saw 1 cop…then I crossed into Montgomery County, and in the next 20-30 miles saw no fewer than 12 cops.
It has become a Police State.
I'll elucidate why I hate the place so much….Magnolia/Tomball
When I was 16, my Mom kicked me out of the house. She was in her crazy period, having been through a long divorce, and had a moneyed, cripple Vietnam Vet shacked up w/ us….
I was entering my own crazy period, resisting arbitrary authority wherever it could be found.
I left…and she got on the phone to all and sundry with her version…that I had "run away"…even to the cops…classic CYA, which she has never admitted.( I let this go a long time ago). 86 "Homebase".
I went to live w/ Dad in Tomball…he was trying to reorient his life after the divorce….had a girlfriend,etc…was always gone.
I enjoyed the freedom…and did well in school and socially…as much as can be expected from a budding genius in the land of mediocrity (which is discussed elsewhere).
A friend of mine called one night when Dad was off somewhere….Ziggy…his girlfriend had called him crying. Her mom had beat her, but Zig was stuck in Galveston, or somewhere…could I pick her up at Ken's Bread and Butter?
I said sure. Went and got her…black and blue wisp of a girl.
She stayed w/ me for a few days ( and I didn't even try to screw her), then Zig showed up and took her off my hands.
2 nights later, me and my girlfriend were on a double date…came back to my Dad's place, and all the cops in Tomball came roaring in.
Officer Stan came up to me, demanding to know that girl's whereabouts.
He was to become my friend, and the only cop I felt I could trust for the remainder of my time there.
This is how I "got on their Radar".
I was what was known as a "Stoner", although, that doesn't account for the nuances and richness of me. Had long hair, played music, thumbed my nose at authority….
and did most of the things that my peers did…nothing unusual about my actions, appearance or attitudes, really.
A few years later, another girl…this one a longtime friend, called me up, crying. Her Crazy Mom had gone too far, her Crazier Dad's house was not an option…she was on the side of the road, so I went to get her. We laid low at Chaaker's house…and there learned that her Dad had called the dogs…His brother was Police Chief.
We ended up at Mary Beth's safe haven. She had been married to the Crazy Dad, and could protect us.
I was threatened with "statutory rape" and jail….I had never slept w/ Mippy, even tho I had loved her for a long time.
This whole fiasco ended w/ Mippy living w/ her Dad, Jerry….and me becoming Persona Non Grata.
From then on, I was chased, harassed and slandered by the cops. Gun held to my head for being drunk, followed whenever I came into town, pulled over and put through the ringer for the smallest infraction..this official behaviour spread to Magnolia, too…I learned to sneak around the Greater Northern Houston Area.
All this had a profound effect on me…which I hadn't realized 'till just a few years ago.
I drank, got drunk, did drugs, etc Ran around being a Rebel….none of this really set me apart, even tho I was a bit more extreme. In retrospect, I was depressed…I had been abandoned by my hometown(s) and my family….and had sought solace. I noticed, early in this period, that others "got away" with the same things I got the third degree for. Seems I was a special case.
What set me apart is that I was "on the Radar"….
This went on for years…I made forays to other places, tried to live w/ Mom again…but never had the money, or familial support, to get set up someplace. Home was my truck, or someone's couch. And I had nothing to lose, since I could, apparently, do no right….
Officer Stan pulled me over one day, after numerous tickets, and said "you better get out of town, Joe"….seems the law was gonna "plant" heroin on me, to be rid of me.It was only then that I found out the root of my problem. I asked Stan why they were always after me. He said," Because of that girl…"
I left.
Went to college, and on to Austin….with a few years of Road thrown in for good measure.
This period of Pariah-hood set in stone my distrust and hatred of Authority.
I was totally unprepared for the realities of life in Reagan's America…I had absorbed the Myth from family, that if one worked hard, and did the "right thing", was honest, one could "make it". (my attitude regarding school is covered elsewhere) Well, I had done the "right thing", to my mind and sense of Morality, in helping these waifs….and the Powers had tagged me as a Problem to Be Eradicated. I was a Weed.
Almost 20 years later, I moved back to Magnolia, looking for work.
Living in my Great Grandmother's house, w/ my Brother, in the neighborhood where I grew up.
Found a job.
Just beginning to get out of the hole caused by 911 and Lil George's economic "policies"…
Day off, I was at the Hill, where we used to camp, and hang around, building forts, etc…memories!...Drinking beer in my truck, not 100 yards from the house, parked in the ditch beside our property, not a soul on the little road. Local redneck, Ricky, comes by in a Mule, w/ a fifth of Wild Turkey and an AK47. Stops, shoots the shit, provides me with a joint….same idiot redneck that used to chase me with his buddies, "Here, Hippy!"…
He left.
Not 10 minutes later, cop pulls up and arrests me. Turns out that Ricky had a "special relationship" w/ the law….in addition to his business of construction work, mostly public works, rife with corruption and kickbacks, he was also a drug dealer…complete with cops in his pocket. Redneck Mafia.
When I got out of jail, (PI), I was afraid to leave the damned house! Was it starting all over?
Was I still, after all these years, Persona Non Grata?
I had my wife and year old son to think about….and it cost more to live there than I could hope to make….so we evacuated…back to the Hill Country.
When we were down there for the funeral, that same son(now 8) was riding with me….and wanted to know why I hate the place so much. He was shocked to learn that his dad was once an Outlaw…
I am resolved to not hold back with him, about the shittyness of the world….like my folks held back with me.
I had to find out on my own, by trial and error….
Grandma's place (Gagoo, I called her) will be on the market soon….and I ain't never going back…53 years of occupation by Browns and Pinters is at an end.
The Rednecks and the UberConservative, Rightwing Xians can keep their People's Republic of North Houston.
200 miles I went, and saw 1 cop…then I crossed into Montgomery County, and in the next 20-30 miles saw no fewer than 12 cops.
It has become a Police State.
I'll elucidate why I hate the place so much….Magnolia/Tomball
When I was 16, my Mom kicked me out of the house. She was in her crazy period, having been through a long divorce, and had a moneyed, cripple Vietnam Vet shacked up w/ us….
I was entering my own crazy period, resisting arbitrary authority wherever it could be found.
I left…and she got on the phone to all and sundry with her version…that I had "run away"…even to the cops…classic CYA, which she has never admitted.( I let this go a long time ago). 86 "Homebase".
I went to live w/ Dad in Tomball…he was trying to reorient his life after the divorce….had a girlfriend,etc…was always gone.
I enjoyed the freedom…and did well in school and socially…as much as can be expected from a budding genius in the land of mediocrity (which is discussed elsewhere).
A friend of mine called one night when Dad was off somewhere….Ziggy…his girlfriend had called him crying. Her mom had beat her, but Zig was stuck in Galveston, or somewhere…could I pick her up at Ken's Bread and Butter?
I said sure. Went and got her…black and blue wisp of a girl.
She stayed w/ me for a few days ( and I didn't even try to screw her), then Zig showed up and took her off my hands.
2 nights later, me and my girlfriend were on a double date…came back to my Dad's place, and all the cops in Tomball came roaring in.
Officer Stan came up to me, demanding to know that girl's whereabouts.
He was to become my friend, and the only cop I felt I could trust for the remainder of my time there.
This is how I "got on their Radar".
I was what was known as a "Stoner", although, that doesn't account for the nuances and richness of me. Had long hair, played music, thumbed my nose at authority….
and did most of the things that my peers did…nothing unusual about my actions, appearance or attitudes, really.
A few years later, another girl…this one a longtime friend, called me up, crying. Her Crazy Mom had gone too far, her Crazier Dad's house was not an option…she was on the side of the road, so I went to get her. We laid low at Chaaker's house…and there learned that her Dad had called the dogs…His brother was Police Chief.
We ended up at Mary Beth's safe haven. She had been married to the Crazy Dad, and could protect us.
I was threatened with "statutory rape" and jail….I had never slept w/ Mippy, even tho I had loved her for a long time.
This whole fiasco ended w/ Mippy living w/ her Dad, Jerry….and me becoming Persona Non Grata.
From then on, I was chased, harassed and slandered by the cops. Gun held to my head for being drunk, followed whenever I came into town, pulled over and put through the ringer for the smallest infraction..this official behaviour spread to Magnolia, too…I learned to sneak around the Greater Northern Houston Area.
All this had a profound effect on me…which I hadn't realized 'till just a few years ago.
I drank, got drunk, did drugs, etc Ran around being a Rebel….none of this really set me apart, even tho I was a bit more extreme. In retrospect, I was depressed…I had been abandoned by my hometown(s) and my family….and had sought solace. I noticed, early in this period, that others "got away" with the same things I got the third degree for. Seems I was a special case.
What set me apart is that I was "on the Radar"….
This went on for years…I made forays to other places, tried to live w/ Mom again…but never had the money, or familial support, to get set up someplace. Home was my truck, or someone's couch. And I had nothing to lose, since I could, apparently, do no right….
Officer Stan pulled me over one day, after numerous tickets, and said "you better get out of town, Joe"….seems the law was gonna "plant" heroin on me, to be rid of me.It was only then that I found out the root of my problem. I asked Stan why they were always after me. He said," Because of that girl…"
I left.
Went to college, and on to Austin….with a few years of Road thrown in for good measure.
This period of Pariah-hood set in stone my distrust and hatred of Authority.
I was totally unprepared for the realities of life in Reagan's America…I had absorbed the Myth from family, that if one worked hard, and did the "right thing", was honest, one could "make it". (my attitude regarding school is covered elsewhere) Well, I had done the "right thing", to my mind and sense of Morality, in helping these waifs….and the Powers had tagged me as a Problem to Be Eradicated. I was a Weed.
Almost 20 years later, I moved back to Magnolia, looking for work.
Living in my Great Grandmother's house, w/ my Brother, in the neighborhood where I grew up.
Found a job.
Just beginning to get out of the hole caused by 911 and Lil George's economic "policies"…
Day off, I was at the Hill, where we used to camp, and hang around, building forts, etc…memories!...Drinking beer in my truck, not 100 yards from the house, parked in the ditch beside our property, not a soul on the little road. Local redneck, Ricky, comes by in a Mule, w/ a fifth of Wild Turkey and an AK47. Stops, shoots the shit, provides me with a joint….same idiot redneck that used to chase me with his buddies, "Here, Hippy!"…
He left.
Not 10 minutes later, cop pulls up and arrests me. Turns out that Ricky had a "special relationship" w/ the law….in addition to his business of construction work, mostly public works, rife with corruption and kickbacks, he was also a drug dealer…complete with cops in his pocket. Redneck Mafia.
When I got out of jail, (PI), I was afraid to leave the damned house! Was it starting all over?
Was I still, after all these years, Persona Non Grata?
I had my wife and year old son to think about….and it cost more to live there than I could hope to make….so we evacuated…back to the Hill Country.
When we were down there for the funeral, that same son(now 8) was riding with me….and wanted to know why I hate the place so much. He was shocked to learn that his dad was once an Outlaw…
I am resolved to not hold back with him, about the shittyness of the world….like my folks held back with me.
I had to find out on my own, by trial and error….
Grandma's place (Gagoo, I called her) will be on the market soon….and I ain't never going back…53 years of occupation by Browns and Pinters is at an end.
The Rednecks and the UberConservative, Rightwing Xians can keep their People's Republic of North Houston.
Rebel
I am the Consummate Rebel….the Quintessential Iconoclast…an Unrepentant, Independent Other.
It has always been thus, since very early on, when I kept finding Differences in Myself that were unwanted/Feared by the Herd. I grasped onto that Anomalousness…Owned It! It was Mine!
Evidence was manifest and unavoidable that Society, and all its numerous Constructs, were anathema to a Thinking Person…and must be resisted, at all costs, if Integrity were to be preserved.
"Conform!" said the Machine…and I refused.
"Be Silent!", it said…and I said my peace.
"Sit Down!"….I stood.
This is such a Part of Me,now, that I cannot help but Live it.
It is Integral to Who I am…from the Beard, the Long Hair, to the Refusal to wear a tie (ridiculous, leash-like fashion requirement!)…to my Immunity to Propaganda and Advertising, my Profound Distrust and Dislike of Authority…my Total Disregard for the Opinion of those whose opinions I hold as less than worthy of consideration…
All this is no secret to those whom I do hold dear, few as they may be…
And yet, those closest to me are Shocked and Amazed! When I bristle at any suggestion that I Conform, Shut Up, Sit Down, etc…"just for today"….as if Integrity can be laid aside, temporarily, when the perceived "Need" presents itself.
Personal Integrity is so rare, today that it is confused with public approval, it seems…
How can one have Integrity if no one knows about it, or (worse) no one acknowledges it?
To the Contrary, I say…Integrity is most Important when No One recognizes it. This is more of an indictment of the Polity, than an affirmation of Personal Integrity.
Plato's Cave, and all….
To hear, even implied, "act normal", "don't say that", "you're wearing that?", "are you going to cut your hair for(insert formal public function)?"….from those whom I hold Dear, is maddening.
Have they not been paying attention?
Do they really think I'm gonna wear Flip-Flops to Church? Or worse, take a big-ol- dump in the aisle?
That is what is implied…that being Me, Unapologetically, is an affront to "Civilisation"…and is, inherently, Embarrassing.
It's even worse when it comes to my Crippleness…"can you leave your cane for (insert formal public performance)?"
"Can you not make a big deal out of not being able to go up and down stairs when the Immigration Czars don't have enough Handicap-accessible seats?"
Implied, just like the perception I get from the Public at Large, is that I'm somehow "Faking it"…
After all, I don't look sufficiently damaged…
Maddening….and dispiriting…that those closest to me think so little of me.
It's hard to be an Anomaly…but it's not something that comes with a switch…
It is Not something that I do to get a rise out of folks…(well, sometimes)…indeed, with the recent turn to the right, and hence, more conformity, it is more than uncomfortable to be so obviously Other.
Even so, it is a Duty that I take very seriously…to remain Integral…while the rest of the world seems bent on Suicidal Conformity.
Since I've been out of the Cave, it is incumbent on me to not deny the existence of "Outside the Cave"…I couldn't live with myself, otherwise.
I am among those who came down from the trees…and to pretend to be just another Fire Monkey is not only a disservice to my own sense of Worth, I reckon it as a disservice to Mankind…
It is not easy…this way I am.
It's hard, it's lonely, being Anomalous….There is, apparently, no Place for Me in this World.
When this is revealed, inevitably, it is "why don't you stop being anomalous?"
As if it's a "lifestyle choice", or a passing fad, instead of Who I Am.
Why should I regret it, lament it?
My "crimes" and "failures" are in the eye of the beholder, and not without context…and, anyway, they pale in comparison to the crimes and Failures of our Society, Civilisation, Species….
Instead of"why don't I change, be more like the Herd?"…I say, "why does the Herd persist in it's irrational, superstitious, ultimately suicidal behaviour?"
Without the Weirdos, we would have likely died out, as a Species, long ago.
It was the Freaks who thought outside of the Norm, who ensured our continued survival.
I am a Lonely Representative of that Tradition of Freakishness.
It has always been thus, since very early on, when I kept finding Differences in Myself that were unwanted/Feared by the Herd. I grasped onto that Anomalousness…Owned It! It was Mine!
Evidence was manifest and unavoidable that Society, and all its numerous Constructs, were anathema to a Thinking Person…and must be resisted, at all costs, if Integrity were to be preserved.
"Conform!" said the Machine…and I refused.
"Be Silent!", it said…and I said my peace.
"Sit Down!"….I stood.
This is such a Part of Me,now, that I cannot help but Live it.
It is Integral to Who I am…from the Beard, the Long Hair, to the Refusal to wear a tie (ridiculous, leash-like fashion requirement!)…to my Immunity to Propaganda and Advertising, my Profound Distrust and Dislike of Authority…my Total Disregard for the Opinion of those whose opinions I hold as less than worthy of consideration…
All this is no secret to those whom I do hold dear, few as they may be…
And yet, those closest to me are Shocked and Amazed! When I bristle at any suggestion that I Conform, Shut Up, Sit Down, etc…"just for today"….as if Integrity can be laid aside, temporarily, when the perceived "Need" presents itself.
Personal Integrity is so rare, today that it is confused with public approval, it seems…
How can one have Integrity if no one knows about it, or (worse) no one acknowledges it?
To the Contrary, I say…Integrity is most Important when No One recognizes it. This is more of an indictment of the Polity, than an affirmation of Personal Integrity.
Plato's Cave, and all….
To hear, even implied, "act normal", "don't say that", "you're wearing that?", "are you going to cut your hair for(insert formal public function)?"….from those whom I hold Dear, is maddening.
Have they not been paying attention?
Do they really think I'm gonna wear Flip-Flops to Church? Or worse, take a big-ol- dump in the aisle?
That is what is implied…that being Me, Unapologetically, is an affront to "Civilisation"…and is, inherently, Embarrassing.
It's even worse when it comes to my Crippleness…"can you leave your cane for (insert formal public performance)?"
"Can you not make a big deal out of not being able to go up and down stairs when the Immigration Czars don't have enough Handicap-accessible seats?"
Implied, just like the perception I get from the Public at Large, is that I'm somehow "Faking it"…
After all, I don't look sufficiently damaged…
Maddening….and dispiriting…that those closest to me think so little of me.
It's hard to be an Anomaly…but it's not something that comes with a switch…
It is Not something that I do to get a rise out of folks…(well, sometimes)…indeed, with the recent turn to the right, and hence, more conformity, it is more than uncomfortable to be so obviously Other.
Even so, it is a Duty that I take very seriously…to remain Integral…while the rest of the world seems bent on Suicidal Conformity.
Since I've been out of the Cave, it is incumbent on me to not deny the existence of "Outside the Cave"…I couldn't live with myself, otherwise.
I am among those who came down from the trees…and to pretend to be just another Fire Monkey is not only a disservice to my own sense of Worth, I reckon it as a disservice to Mankind…
It is not easy…this way I am.
It's hard, it's lonely, being Anomalous….There is, apparently, no Place for Me in this World.
When this is revealed, inevitably, it is "why don't you stop being anomalous?"
As if it's a "lifestyle choice", or a passing fad, instead of Who I Am.
Why should I regret it, lament it?
My "crimes" and "failures" are in the eye of the beholder, and not without context…and, anyway, they pale in comparison to the crimes and Failures of our Society, Civilisation, Species….
Instead of"why don't I change, be more like the Herd?"…I say, "why does the Herd persist in it's irrational, superstitious, ultimately suicidal behaviour?"
Without the Weirdos, we would have likely died out, as a Species, long ago.
It was the Freaks who thought outside of the Norm, who ensured our continued survival.
I am a Lonely Representative of that Tradition of Freakishness.
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