Blog Archive

Monday, October 17, 2011

Fragments From My Wild Years

XTC in asphalt.

Heaven of steel and glass.

Freewayjamming all the way to

Downtown.

Bigtown.

And it was Mine.

Raw rubber roaring

On the psychedelic overpass.

Moonlight giving way to Streetlight.

…as we rolled down the exit ramp

Into the modern Shangri La.

(circa:1988,Tomball/Houston)

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Once again, I’m alone.

Users and abusers and beerlights.

Play guitar in the bar

And hope it turns out alright.

Wanna find a place to hide.

Wanna jump in the car and ride away.

Wanna girl to tell it all to…

To make it go away.

Too many drinks and endless nights, on highways.

Far too many people.

I don’t even know their names;

The ones who live at the foot of the stage

And look at those who reside in the spotlight.

…and I think about the past six years,

People I’ve known, women I’ve fallen in Love with

Places I’ve been.

All gone.

Gone.

I’m in a different world, now.

It’s only inhabitant.

(3-11-91Little Lick’s Back Porch)

(this is after I’d come off the Road, licet insanire)

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Dabs of paint on the tapestry of my Life.

…and it’s coffee psychosis for me

Trying to throw this hairshirt to the dogs

Savour the flavour of solace

A phoenix from the flame.

Birds sing and beasts howl

The wind growls, there’s not much time.

To remember the rhyme bfore it all comes down.

Don’t know how it all got so crazy

Can’t tell if I’ve lost my mind.

Guess it’s what sometimes happens

When you’re cut loose

From all those ties that bind.

And falling in love is easy

Yet it’s never what it seems.

You never know what to expect

(lacunae) dreams…

(circa 1991)

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She didn’t call.

I waited for hours, but she didn’t call.

So I’ll leap into oblivion, with unfounded conclusions and get drunk

And bitch and carry on to the stars…

Been up on the roof.

I can hear the groaning Universe laugh and churn

And I’m a singular entity

In this dancing swirling cosmos,

Watching the indifferent moon bounce from behind the trees.

Silver light

Reflecting from the edges of distant clouds…

And the clouds, themselves…

Vaguely defined in the pseudolight,

Lending a wider perspective to my lofty view.

The crickets don’t care.

They plod on in their chaotic drone,

The very gears of the mighty throbbing cosmic machine

Creaking and pounding in the bosom of my long hot American night.

I’ll call her tomorrow.

(circa 1991, on the roof of the Birdhouse)

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Voices from the past send me plummeting from beyond the brink of remembrance. Blues bourbon beerjoint reality. Excuse me while I pass out on stage…one more for the road, Sam…T’anks.

Back to the van. Run to the hills.

Wake up with Heartless Hangover to singing birds sighing winds and sunlight that burns the brain and fills the mind with half images…atop Mt Bonnel, pello y perro. Where’s that takillya, Sam? Acid on the bayou, Dispair on the Mesa…

Purple cartoon wasps on my windshield, a year later.

Millions of them!

Love lost, what a cost.

This freedom’s a damned lonely business…

(circa 92, after wreck(AW))

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I’m leaving it all behind me, as I ask the road to dance.

Can’t hang around here anymore

Gotta leave while I have the chance.

And tho it’s been a hellova time,

I’ll leave, while the leavin’s good.

There’s better places to be down.

(circa 92?)

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Worlds away;the one’s I’ve loved.

I’ve nothing to help me rise above

The pain and hell and gloom

In a world filled with the brightest colors

Greens browns sky blues

There’s dirt under my fingernails

Sand in my shoes.

Wandering walkabout

Hairy Peace Frog

Hip hop hopping down freedom’s lonely path

Not a dime to my name

Lacking in fame

Slipping into oblivion

Delirium

Heaven or hell

Just as well

Either way I’ll go in a bucket

Fields of buttercups

A new world woman

The poetess,

The barmaid

And gumby’s best friend.

The runaway lovechild who joined a marine

Blonde Czech beauty where are you, now?

All gone away

Body and spirit

(3-91 Birdhouse)

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Send me another shot of Inspiration

I need to bask in the light of some new stimulus

Like a large lizard on a rock.

Give me a jigger, or two, of Love

Or, at least, lust.

I long to swim in the moonlit river of emotion, once again.

Float me a loan on a new soul

There be too many miles on this one.

(?)

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Weekend in the Life

Been up for four days,

Purtymuch.

Mad dreamsong of blues and a short, potato-like woman

With bushels of soul.

Beer and bourbon…

And I’m clean and tan, tonight, on the floor

In front of the Gasjetheatbox, watching massive bugs bounce off walls.

I’m sluggish…

Time for a week off, if I can handle it.

A week to work in sunlight and garden grass

And regain some facsimile of inner peace…

I coasted in from highways,

Hungover and out of gas…back from four days

And nights of blues and booze and my wild,

Older woman friend,

Watching her soapopera dramas of boyfriends

And bourbon and puppypetting

Euphoric sadness.

How I care for her.

She keeps me just far enough out of trouble

In the actual Reality

Of bar beerjoint highway madness night

Neon warm thick ruddy light with smoke in great clouds

And champagne nightcaps and “where’s Darrel?” at 4 am steak and eggs.

Wild weird craziness, such is my world

Samsara ecstacy.

((circa 91)

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