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Friday, September 26, 2014

Pinchegoat.



Began the day as a garbage man...
no companions... unobtrusive, or otherwise.(Ha!)
I had loaded the bulk of the detritus from what was my nascent Shop, here in town, a week ago.
Half a trailerload.
So out to the Monastery, to gather the strategically placed drums...all 3...now filled with 9 months of beer bottles and other assorted flotsam.
Dumped them in the trailer.
Took a manure fork to the little trash pile from 13 years ago, when the trash man decided he wouldn't come down our dead end road anymore, and I experimented with various methods of incineration.This pile has been deep in a brush thicket for 10 years. A man with a bobcat uncovered it, and other things.
That was a further 2 barrels.
Went to mom's and got her mountain of trashbags from the weird cage on wheels in her barn(to keep the cats out).
Tied netting all over the mess, and took dirt to town.
Parked the truck, as I'll have help manana, and it's Free Dump Day...
And collapsed.

Hours later, neighbor from behind us shows up...says the Goat is loose...after his Nannies.
This Goat..whom I have christened Pinchegoat...was here when we got back from Galveston, last July.
The “Landlord”...wife's Uncle...had dropped it off, and not bothered to tell anyone. I make sure he has water, and dump some pellets over the fence on occasion, but I regard him as a minor annoyance.
Until today.
He hit Puberty, I guess.
Smelled all those girls behind us.
And climbed the six foot chicken wire fence, into a mesquite tree, and daintily
danced away...into a little gap between the fences, that was supposed to be an alley in some distant time.
Then he finds a hole, as goats are wont to do, gets over to my next door neighbor's place, into the watermelon patch...but those don't interest him, today.
He smells those girls.
He's so close, now.
They're right across this other fence, calling seductively to him.
But this fence is that 5 foot welded stock panel.

By the time I locate Pinchegoat, he has worn a trail, all along the back fence of next door neighbor's place...pacing frantically.
As I approach, he jets into the hole and back into the Gap/Former Alley(about 2 ½ feet wide.
So it's back out to the road(these are double deep lots), and all the way back to the back of our place, and poke him with mu stick through the fence, and away he goes...back to next door neighbor's.
I trudge all the way to the road, grabbing the Big Ass Net along the way....and all the way back again, keeping close to my fence so he stays away from the hole.
I plug the hole with random wire and sticks...and attempt to casually sidle up to him...
But No! He runs circles around me, and bolts...butts through the hole...and up the tree.
Then Wife arrives.
We finally manage to corner him in the far back corner of next door neighbor's place...and cut him off, with the help of a large and ancient truck.
So he tries to go under the truck...”git his leg!! Git his leg!!”
Wife is reluctant(she is closer, and I am by now, fit to be shot). But she complies, and I finally get over there and grab both back legs and drag his ass out from there.
I get his horns, Wife gets the back legs, and we carry him to the other side of our place, to the Wild Lot...belonging to another Uncle...and I set to work shoring up the little fence that separates that place from the rest of the place.
I've sent the boys to surveille Pinchegoat twice before they left for the Friday Night Ritual Combat. Both times, he was staring at my newly shored up fence.
It is dark, now...and I am Pain, Incarnate.
I fully expect that Pinchegoat has already escaped, and is bothering the Nannies.
Either Uncle Landlord does something about this, or I'll chase Pichegoat deeper into the Barrio...to what they call Little Mexico.
He'll soon be Cabrito.
I despise Goats.



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