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Monday, May 6, 2013


I guess this is what writer's block feels like.
I start a hundred things, but can't finish a one.
Part of it is the current Health Sitrep...Hip's Great!
But the rest?
Xrays found nothing discernable w/ back and knee...I ask, “well, why do they hurt?”
Shots in both, 2 weeks+ ago...and, nothing...
And when these Drunken Spring Cold Fronts come?(it's Frikkin May!!)
It's all over.
Curl Up.
Like some desiccated spider.
I go to Medicaid's “provider's” web site...”find a doctor”...Ha!
Every one I dutifully write down(rheumatologist is indicated by Regular Doctor)...every one...from my “insurance's” own freaking web site...doesn't take Medicaid, any more.
At least those within 100 miles(one way).

At the same time, I am cut off from Vicodin.
I have around 14 refills, and Regular Doc has indicated he's growing ever more leery of prescribing such things, now that the Hip is Titanium.(!?!)
So I Quit.
Cold Turkey.
(no symptoms of Withdrawal, save for the predicted Pain)
Got a big bottle of oxycodone, in reserve, that I didn't take after the Hip Surgery.
For particularly Bad Days.
So, it's weed...and the other, less effective, drugs....the ones with side effects , like heart burn/indigestion.
And I piddle around the Monastery and Environs, in a Haze of Pain.
Drink more often, to the chagrin and even Ire of Wife...

Simultaneously, is the Discouragement...Disillusionment...the utter Futility of Political Endeavors....(Doom is Political, too. Including attempting to prepare for it, a la Local Ag)...
When even “Libs” and “Dems' suffer from the Surreality, from the Mindfuck...Using the same Unreason...the same Tactics of the Reps, and Tea People...the same Hysterical Nonsense, but with “liberal/democratic” Food Coloring...and perhaps some Processed Cheese Product, on top?
What's the Point?!!

Cassandra in the Coal Mine, and in the Walmart, shouting “Doom!” and “Know yer Farmer!!”, as she's led away.

I give away eggs and spinach and lettuce and my immediate Neighbors...and to Folks who deign to speak to me in public.
Otherwise, it's close the gate...shut the door...and(it was warm, a little while ago) close the windows.
Retreat to the Monastery, once more.

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