This Summer was the worst yet, in regards to Pain. There was little activity, as far as Fronts, and other Weather Changes are concerned…so I could safely discount that. Most of the more extreme Pain Episodes were directly related to things like Work, and Overextending myself. As an Indicator of my Worsening Condition, I look at what I got done this Summer, as opposed to last year, the year before, etc.
The Results of this Meta-Meta-Study in Anecdotal Medicine; I got Very Little Accomplished….and when I did, I paid for it with Pain and Agony and Virtual Confinement to my Bed….more than ever before.
Now, with Winter upon us, and the concomitant Fronts, I am in Hell.
No one in the Science Wing of Medicine wants to hear about Weather’s Influence on Joints, and the like. I guess the Money Making Potential is too shaky…
It is, regardless, Very Real to me, subjectively.
My little Hike, a coupla weeks ago, took me 4 days to “Get Over”…and that’s the thing;I never “Get Over” this. The Baseline is Moving.
What does Pain Free feel like?
I have become something of a Connoisseur of Pain…not something I aspired to. I have learned the Difference in Pain that is from that Cold Front, or that Hurricane in Cuba….as opposed to the Pain from going to Walmart(something of an Expedition), or (since I rarely darken their door) HEB….or the Zoo…or my Ill Advised Hike in Junction.
The Vicodin lessens the impact of the Activity-Related Pain…for about 2-3 hours, beginning an hour after I take one.(I’m limited to 3/day…but they only allow me 60/month…do the math…I hafta hoard,so I have enough to even sorta counter the Pain, which is then used as “Evidence” of “Addiction”.)
However, Vicodin appears to have No Impact on the Weather-Related Pain. The only thing I have found that helps that is a Full On Drunk….which I am trying to avoid…and which “Helps” so well that I get active and walk around when I shouldn’t…which makes for Incredible Pain the next day, in addition to the regular Hangover.
I manage to do the dishes and the laundry, most days. I cook dinner. There are 2 barstools in the Kitchen. And here lately, with Fall, I have had to “schedule” my bursts of Housewifery to that 2-3 hours of Non- Curl Up And Die Pain.
I have always been efficient in my Chores…at work or at home…I think about things…and then I’m able to Breeze Through, with out belaboring Process, or Materiel. This serves me Well, usually, in Getting Things Done around here. My #1 Function is Keeping this place Functional. So I do these little Bursts of Activity….then Retreat to the Damned Bed.
I don’t understand how the Government figures that this is in any way conducive to keeping a job…I wouldn’t hire me.
I would be in a wheelchair. ..(I have 2)…but this house, and the part of the world I’m in make that, really, much more trouble than it’s worth. When we go somewhere, like to Houston, where there is a good possibility for Museums, or other Walking, I am certain to bring a chair. I have tried it, in just ordinary daily life, and find that I end up Hurting Worse, due to the BS inherent in being in a Wheelchair….uneven ground, hills (Hill Country) and small doorways…not enough jack for sidewalks to the garden, etc…No Sidewalks to speak of in Mason…I need an Off Road Model, I guess…
When I really Need a Wheelchair, I find that I am too Damaged to manage one…get it in and out of the Truck,and so forth.
…and people ask me, “Where have you been? We never see you”
I am Shut In.
Then, to add to that weirdness of Public Relations/Perception…when I am Able to get out, go to the store, or whatever, people say, “Ya don’t look so bad, to me”…I say,”You shoulda seen me Yesterday”…
I have started the Disability Mess again…Third Time.
There was a widget on the SSA/DB page…just a little questionnaire…I filled it out, and 5 minutes later, a Lawyer called to sign me up.
So Now, I’m committed.
Same BS problems with my Case, as always; Not enough Medical Records…Not enough Documentation, Imaging, etc.(this story/excuse only holds till ya get in front of a Judge…or the TV image of His honor, see below)
Which is Crazy, from my point of view…I went to the Doc, with both he and I Knowing what was wrong, and what needed to be done…Hip/Ankle/Knee Replacement…which is beyond his skills, and way beyond my Financial Ability. Next Logical Step, we both agreed= Disability=>access to Healthcare=> Fix Me, So’s I can Work.
6 years (!) later, and I’m at square one.(Judge found, through no fault of his own(it’s the Law, you see), that I could conceivably have/do a Job that exists in American Samoa, at least in Theory. Ergo, I’m just Fine…and am trying to Pull One Over on The Government, become a Welfare King…)
I lost my SS Card, 20 years ago, in Bull Creek in Austin, along with the rest of my wallet. Haven’t needed a replacement, till now…to apply for the County Indigent Health Care…so I can Go To The Doctor, and shore up my Records.
SSA wanted me to send my Driver’s License…in the Mail…so they could copy it. I copied it for them, and sent the copy. I am, understandably leery of sending my only ID,1;in the Mails, who are notorious for Losing Things for Forty Years…and 2; into the Bowels of a Huge Beaurocracy, for the same, well deserved, reasons.
I need my DL, not only to drive, but to Vote(Fuckers)….and to, hopefully, avoid Imperial Entanglements…my name sounds foreign, and is spelled funny, and I’m strange, too Intelligent, and thus Suspicious, and just might need to be handed off to Homeland Security…So I’ll keep possession of my ID, thank you…but now I must “Pop in to my Local SSA Office”, in person….which involves a 200 mile round trip to San Angelo, where I have no other business…so they can Make a Copy.
….so I can apply for County Indigent, so that I can get Imagery, and Doctor’s Notes, so I can, maybe, convince(again) the Cubicle Dwellers that I am , Indeed!, Disabled, and in need of Health Care….despite that One, Theoretical Job, in US Virgin Islands, that might, in Theory, accommodate my Limitations….somehow.
Last 2 times I went through this Process, all of the Doctors, even the Kept Doc of the SSA, itself, said the same thing;”Yup, it’s Obvious…you’re Disabled, and need a lot of work…”
“A Blind Person could see it…”
Would that SSA would Hire some blind folks…