Certainty

I first read Homer's Odyssy in 6th grade...and I was hooked on all things Greek.
Got into Bullfinch,soon after...and that led to Plato.
The Cave has stuck in my mind ever since.
A little later, I saw (then read) Kubrick/Clarke's 2001...and the theme (Alzo sprachen Zarathustra, by one of the Strauss' )became my favorite song..and led to my first involvment w/ Neitzche...
I know I probably come off as certain, when I'm ranting and raving....most of what I write is the same thing my family hears on roadtrips...stream of conciousness (thanks, Jack...)...it's how I talk...and a good approximation of how i think...
However, for all the seeming certainty in my tone or manner, I am always anything but...
Everything is tentative.
Provisional.
Lots of things I've settled on, to my own satisfaction...many more I've either rejected as Magical Thinking or so reliant on unproveable assumptions, that they must be relegated to the overstuffed "Jury Is Still Out" drawer.
The things I've settled on are by no means set in stone..new data could come from nowhere...or a new interpretation of the foundational assumptions could be presented...and the whole damned thing will hafta be revisited, reworked...or put in the JISO drawer.
I've said a lot about my negative experience with Authority, and recieved Wisdom...and the Myriad Unexamined Assumptions we employ to get through the day...(I realise that the way I see the world cannot be the easiest way..lol.)
Socratic Perplexity is something I, somehow, took to heart...and incorporated into my being.
Just seems the most honest and Truthful way to approach things..even if it gets tedious and unwieldy.
This whole approach has made all kind of trouble for me in attempting to interact with folks.
Took a long time to realise that they were operating from Certainty...Built on a foundation of Unexamined Assumptions...and that whatever it was I was saying was built on my own, mostly, Examined assumptions. We were inhabiting much different worlds.
I had always wondered why it seemed every non-pothead I got to talking with would end up, sooner or later, looking at me askance.
(on a continuum...from "he must be having a stroke, or something"---to: "it's like he's masturbating in church!")

Small relief, this discovery...
When I must get something across...like say talking to the Sheriff, or some cubical dweller in the machinery of government...I have to conciously (I don't want to say "Dumb Down"...some of these Models are quite sophisticated..)...I have to try to figger out what assumptions THEY are operating under...What their model of Reality is.
Makes my head hurt, sometimes...
I simply don't understand the reasoning behind Bureaucracy(hated word!)....I have never been able to navigate institutions...
So i don't know what to say...how to approach.
If I make my approach in a way that makes sense to me...I'm met with blank stares...or,worse, a jungle of unintended fact-finding and questions about where I worked and for how long and everything else...15-20 years ago...like I keep those kinds of records.
So I endeavor to avoid "Imperial Entanglements"(Obi Wan) and do my own thing.
There's an analog that anyone can try...go to a small town in Texas...sit down and strike up a conversation w/ a local about the weather,etc...when they,inevitably, ask "So, what church do YOU go to?"...tell them you're an Atheist.
Watch their body language!
Does not compute!
You have just removed one of their Prime Foundational Assumptions!...and it'll take 'em a minute to reboot.
When they do, they'll prolly just move on to some other topic, like nothing happened.
This is how a LOT of my interactions with the world go.
It is unintentional....i swear.
Since I figured out the probable cause of the impasse, I usually just keep my mouth shut.
Sometimes , tho, I forget myself...
Then, I'm reminded of why I'm a hermit.