Tea, Coffee and Occupation

It was entirely predictable, that the media and the Rabid Right would poo-pooh the growing Occupy the World Movement. The Tea People, the Insane Psychopathic Screamers on Faux News, and other bastions of the Right Leaning Media(like the entire AM dial…”Liberal Media”, my white ass!)…and Republican Politicians, who Fear the Pseudo-Movement they helped to create(Tea)…all have come out against the Occupiers. Cantor’s “Concern” about the “Mobs”…the innuendo and belittling off hand comments about Laziness, “Get a Job”, and all the rest….

It is somewhat comforting…encouraging…to see the FEAR in these Folks’ eyes.

The very Idea of a Leaderless, Manifesto-less Movement fills me with Hope that…just perhaps…there’s enough moxie left in the American People to curtail our headlong plunge into Pseudo Fascism/Pseudo Feudalism/Panopticon. It may be too late, but at least WE rose up a little, before the End.

As I’ve said before, the little town where I live has been in a Great Depression for at least 10 years. Anyone can see this, if they were to open their eyes. Wages are stagnant, “unemployment” is rampant…there is no Healthcare worth the name…and most folks scratch and scramble to get by. Yet, in the last 10-15 years, my county has sided with the architects of this malaise…(republicans)

I know, I know…we’re supposed to “Rise Above” the partisan divide, and all…I say Bullshit.

While Democrats have been spineless, supine and overly accommodating…the recent History of Us is quite clear: Republicans made this…Forget, for a moment, that the Republican Party opposed every bill, every policy, since 1900 that helped the poor, and the middle…I’m talking about the last 32 years, and especially, the last 12. The “Reagan Revolution”,and all that went with it, has been an abject Failure for everyone, save the much loathed 1%, and assorted dictators, Bankers, Hedgefund Managers, and other, sundry Parasitical Elites. All of them have done quite well, thank you…and it is somewhat heartening, even at this late hour, to see a Majority of my countrymen Correctly Identify the proper perpetrators of our collective pain.

For 35 years, we have believed the tripe, that it is all our fault that we are not wealthy…that it has nothing, whatever, to do with the way the System is Structured…that such laying of Blame is , somehow, a Copout, a Lazy Excuse, Unamerican.

How uplifting to see , on one of Maddow’s polls(I understand, about polling) that about ¾’s of Americans finally are willing to say that all of this is, indeed, Bullshit. The same old Piss On the Little Guy Policies are all the Right has to offer….an Utopian, entirely Fictional World, where “Hard Work and Sacrifice” will pay off…where You, Too Can be a Millionaire. Where we are a Nation of Laws, and that No one is above those Laws.

Turns out that there’s a lot of “People” who are above the Law…they are known as Corporations.

Ugh.

It’s going to take a lot more than folks camping out to change course, I’m afraid.

We have yet to see the full force of the Machine brought to bear…as much as I , a Liberal, abhor Violence…I predict that there will be Violence.It is likely the only Language that the Machine, and it’s Minions, understand. That said, such Violence will be, truly, Defensive…(I’ve got Billy Joel in my head, at the moment…”We didn’t start the fire…”) We didn’t declare War on “Them”; rather They, on Us…they just forgot, or neglected, or were too sneaky, to inform us of the Fact. Now is the Time, and we know the Time(Dean Moriarty)…Time for the Counterattack…for our generation’s “Once more, into the breach”…Au Deamus! Let Us Dare, to endeavor to make “Take Back America” something more than a bumpersticker. Our Country has been stolen, We know who the thieves are, and We know where they live.

Humans, arise.

Fragments From My Wild Years

XTC in asphalt.

Heaven of steel and glass.

Freewayjamming all the way to

Downtown.

Bigtown.

And it was Mine.

Raw rubber roaring

On the psychedelic overpass.

Moonlight giving way to Streetlight.

…as we rolled down the exit ramp

Into the modern Shangri La.

(circa:1988,Tomball/Houston)

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????//////////////

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Once again, I’m alone.

Users and abusers and beerlights.

Play guitar in the bar

And hope it turns out alright.

Wanna find a place to hide.

Wanna jump in the car and ride away.

Wanna girl to tell it all to…

To make it go away.

Too many drinks and endless nights, on highways.

Far too many people.

I don’t even know their names;

The ones who live at the foot of the stage

And look at those who reside in the spotlight.

…and I think about the past six years,

People I’ve known, women I’ve fallen in Love with

Places I’ve been.

All gone.

Gone.

I’m in a different world, now.

It’s only inhabitant.

(3-11-91Little Lick’s Back Porch)

(this is after I’d come off the Road, licet insanire)

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dabs of paint on the tapestry of my Life.

…and it’s coffee psychosis for me

Trying to throw this hairshirt to the dogs

Savour the flavour of solace

A phoenix from the flame.

Birds sing and beasts howl

The wind growls, there’s not much time.

To remember the rhyme bfore it all comes down.

Don’t know how it all got so crazy

Can’t tell if I’ve lost my mind.

Guess it’s what sometimes happens

When you’re cut loose

From all those ties that bind.

And falling in love is easy

Yet it’s never what it seems.

You never know what to expect

(lacunae) dreams…

(circa 1991)

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

She didn’t call.

I waited for hours, but she didn’t call.

So I’ll leap into oblivion, with unfounded conclusions and get drunk

And bitch and carry on to the stars…

Been up on the roof.

I can hear the groaning Universe laugh and churn

And I’m a singular entity

In this dancing swirling cosmos,

Watching the indifferent moon bounce from behind the trees.

Silver light

Reflecting from the edges of distant clouds…

And the clouds, themselves…

Vaguely defined in the pseudolight,

Lending a wider perspective to my lofty view.

The crickets don’t care.

They plod on in their chaotic drone,

The very gears of the mighty throbbing cosmic machine

Creaking and pounding in the bosom of my long hot American night.

I’ll call her tomorrow.

(circa 1991, on the roof of the Birdhouse)

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Voices from the past send me plummeting from beyond the brink of remembrance. Blues bourbon beerjoint reality. Excuse me while I pass out on stage…one more for the road, Sam…T’anks.

Back to the van. Run to the hills.

Wake up with Heartless Hangover to singing birds sighing winds and sunlight that burns the brain and fills the mind with half images…atop Mt Bonnel, pello y perro. Where’s that takillya, Sam? Acid on the bayou, Dispair on the Mesa…

Purple cartoon wasps on my windshield, a year later.

Millions of them!

Love lost, what a cost.

This freedom’s a damned lonely business…

(circa 92, after wreck(AW))

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I’m leaving it all behind me, as I ask the road to dance.

Can’t hang around here anymore

Gotta leave while I have the chance.

And tho it’s been a hellova time,

I’ll leave, while the leavin’s good.

There’s better places to be down.

(circa 92?)

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Worlds away;the one’s I’ve loved.

I’ve nothing to help me rise above

The pain and hell and gloom

In a world filled with the brightest colors

Greens browns sky blues

There’s dirt under my fingernails

Sand in my shoes.

Wandering walkabout

Hairy Peace Frog

Hip hop hopping down freedom’s lonely path

Not a dime to my name

Lacking in fame

Slipping into oblivion

Delirium

Heaven or hell

Just as well

Either way I’ll go in a bucket

Fields of buttercups

A new world woman

The poetess,

The barmaid

And gumby’s best friend.

The runaway lovechild who joined a marine

Blonde Czech beauty where are you, now?

All gone away

Body and spirit

(3-91 Birdhouse)

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Send me another shot of Inspiration

I need to bask in the light of some new stimulus

Like a large lizard on a rock.

Give me a jigger, or two, of Love

Or, at least, lust.

I long to swim in the moonlit river of emotion, once again.

Float me a loan on a new soul

There be too many miles on this one.

(?)

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Weekend in the Life

Been up for four days,

Purtymuch.

Mad dreamsong of blues and a short, potato-like woman

With bushels of soul.

Beer and bourbon…

And I’m clean and tan, tonight, on the floor

In front of the Gasjetheatbox, watching massive bugs bounce off walls.

I’m sluggish…

Time for a week off, if I can handle it.

A week to work in sunlight and garden grass

And regain some facsimile of inner peace…

I coasted in from highways,

Hungover and out of gas…back from four days

And nights of blues and booze and my wild,

Older woman friend,

Watching her soapopera dramas of boyfriends

And bourbon and puppypetting

Euphoric sadness.

How I care for her.

She keeps me just far enough out of trouble

In the actual Reality

Of bar beerjoint highway madness night

Neon warm thick ruddy light with smoke in great clouds

And champagne nightcaps and “where’s Darrel?” at 4 am steak and eggs.

Wild weird craziness, such is my world

Samsara ecstacy.

((circa 91)

Archetype and Symbol (or Amfortas, meet Parzifal.) (or, Wounded King, meet the Holy Fool)

Applied Archaeology has never been my strong point, at least in practice. I am the Theorist, usually. Applied Archaeology is tedious, and sometimes you hafta come face to face with Bones, which are scary.

The whole Point of this latest exorcise has been to get to the Bottom, and clear it out. I have grown epically Tired of the Epic Sadness; tired of the Rut…especially since I didn’t even know what it was all about. The Subconscious is an amazing place.

Memories of Feelings that were too painful to bear, were subsumed, in a Deluge..of beer, wine and Forgetting.

I remember, now…when it began. The first, at the pool, at Her mom’s house, waiting on my ride to ‘finish’ with the object of my desire.

Second, in Nanduhirion…the Deep Woods behind Presley’s, on a hill, under a large oak, where the Camp was. Her, off in the woods, with that same buddy…me, by the Fire, drinking Mad Dog 20/20…these were the first times I drank to forget.

How many times did this situation repeat, with so many women?

It is as if She engraved “Sucker/Knight Errant” on my forehead.

Sigh.

I don’t ‘blame’ Her, I understand where She was, where She had come from…I think that Understanding, when combined with Betrayal, produced a kind of Break….the two could not be reconciled….and I spent the next 10 years(20?) trying to kill myself, however passively.

I was not, in any way, prepared for this stuff…I ‘learned’ about “Love,etc” from books…Arthur and Guinnyfar,or worse, the “Snows of Kilimanjaro”….( I intend to enlighten my boys, however I can) So, I had an actual Girlfriend,”P”…and I really loved her(still do)…she was good for me. We had a good time of it(I really don’t know how long…years)…but I ended it, badly.(I guess I knew, at some level , that I had fucked up…’cause I kept trying to get back w/ P…to no avail.)

The Romantic Annihilation swept me up…and, coupled with the whole Cops vs. Me-thing, the Outlaw/Pariah situation(which, again, started with Her, even if they were not Her doing!)…and I went looking for Errantry. At the time, I didn’t know what I was doing…, my Wild Years were the Natural Thing to Do…a Ritual Immolation….Cosmically Symbolic…and Totally Unconscious.

I bounced between Tomball, Magfuckingnolia and Huntsville for a while…then added Louisiana, and the Deep South…I lived in cars…then a Puke Green VW Van. But as far as I went, I was still in Orbit around Tomball. It flabbergasted me, that I couldn’t seem to leave…I didn’t know what I was looking for…there were no goals, aside from the next party, alone or with other fucked up folks..I played Blues…became the Bluesman…the Wild Man. Beerjoints, Barlights, Cops after me…I learned to sneak in and out of town…I knew all the back roads.I bathed in muddy creeks, camped in Wild Places…worked, just off and on…I, in retrospect, ceased to give a damn. Shallow ‘relationships’, even shallower ‘affairs’…

…Then I had the Wreck, and stopped for several months. This gave some musicians I had Jammed with a chance to nail me down (I couldn’t walk), and Birdhouse was formed. First Gigs were with me, the front man, in a wheelchair…and there was free beer! I started back to the local college, but it didn’t last…I descended, once again. Fights in the Band, and me running around looking for Something….it all fell apart, again. DWI, despondency, despair…

In that time, a long string of one night stands…and I fell in Love, at the drop of the skirt.

I must stress, I had no idea…indeed, I often wondered at the insanity of it all…the Motto, if there ever was one, was “Further!”, snatched from Ken Kesey, and Neil Cassady(Dean Moriarty)…

I ended up back in school …

Finally back in Huntsville, while the Road kept pulling me back…tugging me…saying,”Au Deamus!”…I (kinda) resisted, for a time. There were still many failed love affairs….and a lot of drink/drugs…but I was serious about school, for the only time in my life.I first lived with my brother, and we quickly formed a Band, Hot Wired Dumptrucks…did a lot of our own material (esp. my stuff)…and drank, drank, drank…until I crashed and burned, flew away to Greenbriar where P was living…just disappeared for a week or so.

I got an apartment…famous, now, for it’s Wall Art, and it’s Wild, Multicultural Strangeness….and Shroomsicles! I met K when she was living on my couch…along with J and Sh, who were also surfing… it was the same Rescuing a Damsel Business…I adopted her, as one would a Pet. I really loved her, and I think she really loved me…but it was always a weird mixture of Pet/Master, Crazy Person/ Sane Codependent….and , for once, I got to play the Sane One.

The school tried to fuck me with a fine print dildo, and I gave in, weary of the chase for something I didn’t really believe in(Degree…Career…). The Band was no more…and I was itching for Art, for an escape from Shitkicker University.

K fancied herself an artist, as well…(and I came to believe it)…so off we went. Sold the van for a Toyota, and went. The Cops were noticing me, too…so it was high time.

Austin Texas…after the Armadillo, and at the beginnings of it’s Yuppie Invasion. Timing is, indeed, everything.

My last paycheck from H-Ville bounced…but only after we had written checks for rent, groceries, electricity,…Catastrophic “Theft By Check”. We lost the apartment(and the Monster Set of Encyclopedia Britannica), and moved into a series of Roach Motels, and Public Parks. Then we moved in with “Ze Little Black Boy”, in Queerville, next to Jimmy the Queen…and then we got married.

I had been attempting, for these 2 years, to leave the Road behind. In Austin, I was trying to be respectable, keep a job…I had hoped that Austin would , finally, be the place I would Fit….that would Fit me. This was not to be. My Mom helped us buy a trailer house…cheaper than rent…then I got arrested. A $20 check had been overlooked, and the Law was after me, again. We were still reeling from the whole Bouncing Paycheck-thing, and the added costs of restitution, lawyer, fines…then the Parking Tickets…then the towing…then the repossession of the car….and on top of all that, K was a Stray Magnet…more aptitude even than me for attracting the Dregs and Flotsam of society. The trailer Park, and our house, became a waystation for whole herds of Freaks, Geeks and Drifters…basket cases, all. There were ordinary trailer trash, hippies, street people, a Roofer, Lost Children (all over 18, thankfully), Cab Mike, Couch Phil, and on and on. I was the Chairman to this Circus(legs), just watching the Crazy like it was a TV movie. Sex, Drugs, Drink, a Quiet Madness settled over me.

On the rare night when nothing was ‘happening’, we’d lie there with the windows open, and listen to the sound of sirens. K, being from Southern California, identified it as “Sweeps”…cops, going through neighborhoods, looking for Gangbangers.

For me, the Walls closed in. Agoraphobia, that I’ve suffered from ever since, set in. I was drinking, a lot…and both me and K were fucking around…

The opportunity came to move everything out to Mason…and, after a time of finagling, I won out, and we went.

K lasted a year, out here on the Fringes of the world. I was, as far as I knew then, Fully Off the Road. She couldn’t handle it…tried to start up the whole Trailer Park Scene…and I finally let her go. She likely still hates me for this.

Buddy M, who had been having his own psychological issues, had been staying with us for a while; working on the Farm…trying to repair his Soul with work and isolation. I was fully into my Bi Period…K didn’t seem to mind, as she had her share(and came out as a Lesbian, after the divorce!)..Buddy was my sometimes thing, and Just like with the whole Knight Errant Bit, I now…with hindsight…see this in context with all the rest. I was tired of wimmenfolk, and had always been open to ‘outside the box sexuality. So we attempted to “be Gay”…for about a month. I found that I couldn’t cuddle with someone with facial hair….I was only interested in one part of him.lol.And preferred Woman Parts. So he moved on…and I quickly found more Damsels to Rescue. More Drink, More Drugs, More Driving all night on Endless Highways…never enough money…and always too much Loneliness and Heartbreak.

RB was the last Damnsel…and she was a doozy. Used me up…Hooked me…I almost didn’t survive her….the Cops, the crazy violent boyfriends,the Wildness was over the top, even for me. (I had ‘forgotten’…more like Fully Suppressed…Her…She was lost, out there in the World , somewhere).

Then I met my Final Wife,(touch wood), and immediately realized she was different. T wasn’t so obviously Crazy, for one.(everyone has their demons).We’ve been married for nigh on 13 years, with 2 boys…and, although we will probably always be Po Folk, I am Happy, with her.

It hasn’t been easy. My Past, it seems, still had Invisible Hooks and Tentacles embedded in me. Since my Disability,(is it really 6+ years?...) I’ve been studying…Everything….including Psychology, especially Jung…and trying to Kill Off the Wild Years…the drink…(drugs were never my real problem…it was the drink)

….And I couldn’t.

There was something I was overlooking….we tried everything…

Then, a year ago, I found Her, online.

The trip to Dallas to meet Her…and especially the return trip…was an Epiphany in the Making….I told T the whole sordid tale…the Memory Blocks dissolved…and it was Epic. T said it was ‘like a movie’…

I have thought, just a little more often, about Her in the year since…and 2 weeks ago, the last bit of Wall crumbled in place. I remembered the betrayal, in Surround Sound, 3 D…with such Clarity…it was like being there, in CH’s car…or under the Oak in Nanduhirion…or in Wimberly with L…or a hundred other betrayals, or perceived betrayals…with a hundred other women…all of them made possible by Me…or at least my Subconscious.

I wrote it down, the Beginning…Principiis Obsta;Caveat Ruinam!

A Most Terrible Love….

And drank a gallon of peasant wine, 3 days later.

I listened to all the Forbidden Songs…Vomited my Psychosis all over the world wide web…and, hopefully for the last time, blew out the candle, put Her to Bed…

Heartless Hangover, and although I was ashamed of my Spectacle, I found that I could Remember Her…without the Pain I had carried around all this time, wondering what that Great Weight was…..

De Omnibus Dubitandum, and all… I cannot rest on a bed of Ivy…it is Habit, this Nihilistic Jekyll/Hyde-ism…and will take a lot more “Dealing” with…

But it feels like I may have found the Key.

I have hardly spoken(written..) to Her, since Dallas. Seems She’s worse than me at correspondence…I did manage to go off on Her, incoherently, in a drunken rage…to no good end…just a diffuse madness, directed in Her general direction, without telling Her why…or even knowing, myself…

You see…for all these years, I still don’t know if She ever really Knew how I felt, back then….Too, there was No Closure…She just disappeared….and then , so did I.

As I keep repeating, I do not Blame Her…I understand where She was At…somewhat, then; with Clarity, Now. All these years, when I would pause, and remember Her, think about Her, I would stop before I got to the Painful Parts…as I said, She was the voice in my head…mostly Figuratively, but sometimes in actual fact…

She became the Archetypal “Woman”, a female Elijah, that one habitually sets a place for…the Fons et Origo…and all the Pain and Anger that went with Her came out in Music, Poetry and the Highest Form of Art, the Arc of One’s Life…

My patient Wife know about all this…puts up with my seemingly endless self-psychoanalysis…her first reaction: “Go to Her”.

…Which is completely missing the Point!!!

If She showed up with a million bucks and a 100’ sailboat, I wouldn’t go.

What I am after, here, is Peace. I’d like to get over it, at long last.

I’m hopeful, in fact, that we, She and I, can keep in touch, Platonically. As far as it goes, I genuinely wish Her a Good Life…. It would be wrong of me to lay it all at Her feet.

This Exorcism is about Me…about getting at the Roots of my myriad Psychoses. It wasn’t what She did, after all…rather, it was how I saw it…which I admit, now, was utterly delusional. Although She could have been more clear, and not led me on, I understand. We were Kids…living in Fucked Up circumstances. It feels somewhat crazy to want to Forgive someone who, really, did no wrong…but there it is.

I must Forgive Her, so that I may Forgive myself.

A Most Terrible Love

I first met Her on a hayride, out at my Grandad’s Farm. It was put on by the Catholic Church in Tomball…I was only even a member of the little “Youth Group” to please Grandad…She sat at the back, with me and a few others. I don’t remember any of them. I was, perhaps,15…16; She, a year younger. She held herself apart, aloof;not really trying to be with the others. I sensed a kindred spirit, in this, I guess…because I gravitated to Her. We ended up walking behind the hay trailer, as the sun went down…that white brilliance of the sky at twiglight, early Autumn. Pine trees along one side of the road, we walked along…side by side, then hand in hand. As we neared the house, where the hayride would end, and silly “nice” (church approved) games would ensue, I leaned over and kissed Her…my first time…and She responded. The embrace, the kiss has haunted me since. I don’t remember the games, or even what we talked about on our walk. All that I remember is the feeling…that I had found Her, quite by accident.

I didn’t see Her for years…in fact, I don’t recall the next time. It is all jumbled and melted together in my memory. Images and Feelings and Songs. She had become the stepsister to my best friend, who had moved to Tomball a few years before. I think that’s how we reconnected. At ML’s house, by Spring Creek, I was there, met her Dad(Evil!), ate fried chicken. While waiting for dinner,we listened to music in ML’s room, we had to keep the door open; JS, her dad, didn’t trust a closed door. Something about the Devil…

I remember at dinner, her Dad responded to my comment that she ate like a bird, with “actually, birds eat more than their body weight, every day…” .

All this , and more was somewhat surreal, and not just for me. We went down to the highway, after dinner…where 149 crossed Spring Creek. They were preparing to widen the bridge, and there were great piles of red dirt, all down into the creek hollow…we wandered around, talking about everything, the three of us. This is when She and I determined that we had met, and kissed, before. The Song that was in my head was “Sunset Grill”, by Don Henly….the first time I remember having a song playing in my mind…and the first of many songs, or snatches of song, that invoke Her.

I didn’t see her for a long while, till I moved to Tomball….and then , only rarely. She called me, and said she was at the church (across town), was playing hooky from the classes, etc…and could I come meet her. I walked the 2 miles down the tracks to the Church. She was lurking around the swings and things…We hung out and talked, and even held hands. I wanted a kiss, but she ‘wasn’t in the mood’. I remember it was in Fall of the year, probably November, as the leaves were all gone. The clouds, again at twilight, were dark, Stratus, glowering. We talked about hopping a freight….about how She was trapped, between her insane Dad, and her insane Mom….I told her I was ready, but I guess she wasn’t. It would not be the last time that this abortive escape scenario would play out. Time came, her dad arrived, and I faded into the brush along the tracks for the long walk home.

The next couple of years, I was around her often. Band, the Busrides, the driving around. The parties. We talked for hours on the phone; but she wouldn’t be as close as I wanted. I was “like a brother”, and her best friend. . (we talked about sex, a lot. All her escapades, trysts and affairs…she encouraged phone-sex, of all things, quite often…it had always been a strange relationship)

Her Dad had one of his crazy periods, and she moved back with her Mom, and to another school district. She would call me, and sneak out her window…I would come, every time…stealing my dad’s jeep…and off we’d go. Just driving…and drinking, but not really to excess…once, again, in the Fall, we went to Galveston. 100 miles. Crossing over the ship channel bridge, windows down, Bruce Hornsby and the Range were on the radio…”every little kiss”…she looked at me, and asked if we could run away together. I said yes, but after tonight. This sparked a change in her…a distancing…and I knew I had said the wrong thing. We finally got to Stewart beach, and got out, walked. It was cold and windy…salt spray stinging..her hair whipping around. She walked off, saying she wanted to be alone. I could see her, in the yellow light of the sodium lamps, staring out to sea…and my heart just about broke. When she came back, I could see that she was crying…said she wanted to get away so badly..crazy parents, and all.

Later on she called me again, said she wanted to drive around, so I went to get her. I didn’t realize that she was so drunk till later…she wheedled me into driving past band practice…to look for “Joel”, the tuba guy who had dumped her…and brought on the almost suicidal binge she was on. Screwdrivers. About a minute later, she puked all over me and the jeep. I kept driving, holding her head out the window, trying to get her home (her mom was out of town). We arrived, and I carried her in, put her on her bed, and tried to keep her from asphyxiating…puke, everywhere. She was passed out, by now.

I had to do something. I got her undressed, save for her panties…and I must insist, I was the picture of a gentleman; I did not “take advantage”…I somehow got her into the shower, and cleaned up…and back to her bed. Everything was calm, now…the immediate danger was over…although I watched her closely. I rummaged around and found the number to her best friend…who rushed over, and helped me with her and with the cleaning.

She asked later if I had “copped a feel” and I said, truthfully, that no, that would have been unethical (I am a somewhat rare bird)…but that I got a really good look. She seemed to indicate that this was my reward for chivalry, and pecked me on the cheek.

Soon after, her mom was gone, again…and CH and me were over there, swimming, and drinking her mom’s bud. Ch was “invited” into the house…and I was not. I was already buzzed…and that’s the day I started smoking. CH had Marlborough lites in his ancient station wagon. I chugged beers and smoked till I was sick…and made a fool of myself, when they were “done”. I said inopportune and hurtful things and CH got me out of there.

Soon after,a week?... I got a call, from a pay phone by her mom’s. She had run away, and was on the side of the road….band bag full of shoes, but no underwear. I, of course, went to rescue her.It was, by now, my Function. We went to ground at CH’s apartment, ML was there (his mom and JS had divorced), and we tried to figger out what to do. I wanted to collect her and go…go find a ship to stow away on…anything. ML’s mom called, said that JS had ‘called the dogs’. Turned out that JS’s brother was police chief! They were after me and her, and I was to be charged with statutory rape…for which there is no real defense….and Kidnapping. To ML’s mom’s we went, the three of us.It was safe haven. We spent most of the night there, while cops circled, and ML’s mom talked to JS on the phone. I got a reprieve, I could go…but I was not to contact her, ever.(this incident got me on the radar of the cops, for Tomball, Magnolia, Montgomery and Northern Harris Counties. When I helped Zig’s girlfriend, later, it just added to it. I was , and remain, a Pariah)

I quit school, in april of my senior year… too much bullshit…the rules, the boredom, the punitive dhalls, and iss.(I never went to dhall, and ended my HS career with a record 165 hours due of dhall, as well as 3 weeks due of iss, if I hoped to graduate.) She was back living with her dad…but the school knew…everyone seemed to know. I had my first girlfriend, P, by this time. We got an apartment, with CR(yet another waif in need of rescue), and settled into a kind of groove. The first time I did acid, P didn’t know…and I spent a horny, crazy night next to her. Next day, I skipped work, as I was still tripping, a little. P went on into her job…and She called me. I told her about the acid, and we talked about many things. Sex , as was usual, came up I asserted that it wasn’t fair, her fucking everything that moved, except me…who had always been there for her. By this time , she was engaged to an army nut, who had daddy’s approval. She said that if I came over, she’d fellate me…but I couldn’t have anything else, because her fiancée would smell it.(I intuited that he made an “inspection” whenever he picked her up). Of course, I went right over. She wanted a bag of weed for this service; and I promised her one.(I betrayed her, in that, I guess….as it was dirt weed). I was too nervous to consummate, and settled for holding Her nakedness close to me for a while. P never knew about this (sorry,P).

Soon after, She was gone. Married to the army dude, living on the other side of Houston….no one would tell me how to contact her. I lost track, until a few years later…in the middle of my Wild Years…I remember crossing the , then brand new beltway 8 bridge…the high bridge… over the ship channel, in the fog…me and Sam, my now long deceased Road Buddy…somehow, I had found her phone number, in Deer Park. We showed up after midnight, drunk, just in from Lousyanna…and I was bitter, drunk and mean.

That’s all I remember of that, our last encounter…and in the years since, I have thought of Her, often…wondering where in the wide world She was…no one would tell me…and, on occasion, I would pause…when the moon was right, or the dawn, or the sunset…the smell of the air…and remember….longing…grasping at memories, wanting to return, and try again…

I found her on Facebook…last year...and took my wife and kids to Dallas to meet her. She’s living in London, now….when she’s not traveling the world with her job…

This was a hard meeting, for me. I love my wife…but there will always be that something….that feeling of something missed, let slip…I can’t listen to music, unless I’m drunk…because so many songs remind me of Her. Almost all the girls I’ve bedded and fell in love with have been Her surrogates. The pattern of my love affairs follows that unrequitedness, that quixotic tilting, that was set in stone with Her. I see that certain quality of light in the Autumn sky, wind in the dry grass on a hillside, and I think of Her…almost unconsciously, now…20 years later.

I am haunted by an undefined longing, and shapes in the fog of my memory….for my life is filled with mists…so much drink and drugs and Wildness…and how much of this was to suppress this longing?

The songs I wrote, although they were ‘dedicated’ to P, or Margie or Janet, were to Her…the mental interlocutor I habitually carry around in my mind, discussing the world…has been Her….or her avatar…

The only memories that are absolutely clear…unfogged…are those with Her…I remember those times as if they were this morning.

I am writing this for my own reasons…as a sort of exorcism. There is no malice in my intentions, only catharsis. For nigh on 25 years She has been a part of my unconscious mind…and now that I have found her…I must let Her go, at last. This terrible Love, that I have borne for what seems like centuries, I must lay down. Believe me, that I wish Her nothing but happiness….and always have…even when I hated Her for not choosing me…

When the pain I felt was so overwhelming that I thought that I must die….after 25 years, I can finally speak and write and think…and not fall out of the world.

9292011 2am

I set my alarm (Scotland, the Brave) for 4AM…but woke up at 2.

Thursday is my watering day, Midnight till 9AM; and 7pm to Midnight.

Drought…restrictions.

I made the Coffee and set to….keeping eyes peeled for the Possum I’ve been after…and, who is after the 3 Lil Red Roosters that disdain proper shelter.

An hour at a time…then moving the sprinkler. By Dawn, I’ll have the Wild Lot soaked. The Rye is sprouting.

Whisper of deep green in this brown land.

To the Café…(a Blue Table, and some chairs, out by the road.Where I drink Tea in the evenings)

Barrio is quiet, save for the dogs, near and far….and the 3 wayward Roosters.

I have disturbed them.

On Sunday mornings (my other watering day), there are Cattle to be heard…all night…from the Stockyards, a mile to the east.

They keep the dogs up and howling…but, tonight, quiet.

The Barrio begins to stir, in another hour.

Trucks.

The rest of the Roosters…mine, and many others…will tune up around then.

Crowing and flapping and jostling.

The Geese are already muttering…they know I’m about.

Ducks can be heard, as well…complaining softly in their hide.

I do most of my work, on these mornings, in the dark.

One of my Psychological Issues with Town Life is feeling Watched.

I have almost always been in the country…and, reason be damned, I cannot shake the feeling. 2 years of observation and insomnia haven’t cured me.

It is partly a likely holdover from the Prowler Problem, out at Mom’s.

One never knew when He would be lurking….and I still have the urge to go about armed.

Unnecessary, now…especially since the Lollo Affair sent that dude into hiding.

Probably a touch of PTSD…to go with my other “issues”.

Too, in the country, I’d likely be Nekkid for this work.Ha!

I’ll spend the rest of the day napping, and Willing the Rye to Grow….perhaps I can be Painless enough to do the Pantry. Inventory, et cetera.

I used to love the Fall of the year…now, the Fronts lay me out.

I can smell it…the change in the season…a mere suggestion of Chill, although it’s almost 80 degrees.

A “mild” Winter is forecast.

And Summer’s stars are gone, by this time of the morning.

Regarding the Mayor’s mention of re-doing the Sewer Plant.( a letter to city and editor)

Everything Poops!

It may not be pleasant to think about, but there it is.

Most things that Poop have Micro-Flora and -Fauna, in their Gut, that generate Methane.

The city and county, in recent years, have been fined for venting Methane to the atmosphere…from the landfill, at least. It is a certainty that the aging Sewer Plant Vents Methane, as well.

“Natural Gas” is a marketing term, invented by energy companies, decades ago, in order to sell Fossil Methane. Seems everyone knew , at the time, that Methane = Sewer Gas….and our aversion to the products of Bodily Functions meant that even the Fossil Gas was a hard sell.

Now , we are in an Energy Crisis. Light Sweet Crude Oil is hard to find, the “low hanging fruit” having been extracted, long ago. This is the reason for the mad scramble for “alternatives”…such as Oil Sands, Tar Sands, Deep Water Drilling, etc. All of these, and more, have what is called a Negative EROEI (energy return on energy invested); it costs more energy to extract and make useable these resources, than is contained in the resources, themselves. Enormous amounts of Fresh Water, and a whole lot of “Natural Gas”(the Fossil Kind) are also required to Process these resources into a useable form.

It is, in short, Folly…and an act of desperation.

Fossil Fuels are Finite….there is only so much of them there…and the world has used them wantonly.

Nothing, really, can replace Oil, barrel for barrel. It is energy dense, and transportable. “Natural Gas” is neither. It is expensive and dangerous to transport it…and at the earliest opportunity (a pinhole leak), it escapes to the atmosphere…where it is a remarkably efficient Greenhouse Gas.

A viable alternative to at least some of these problems is sewer gas….Methane. The Landfill, the Feedlots (that are, luckily, right next door) and the Sewer Plant. All that is needed is to Capture that Methane, run it through a glorified Charcoal Filter, and Viola! Energy for Mason!

Currently, our Electricity comes from far away…through Power Lines…

Power Lines “Lose” around 40% of what’s Generated, in Transmission. That Electricity is simply “vented”…much like our Methane…in the form of an Electromagnetic Field.

What a Boon for Mason, if we could actually use the Waste we Generate to heat and cool our homes…and to run our gadgets. It is worth looking into, since our Elected Officials are contemplating a Major Overhaul to the current infrastructure.

I urge you all to educate yourselves on this matter….and to then tell your Council-People and Commissioners about it.

I have sent this to Mayor Brent, along with a smattering of links…which Gerry can print if he wants to.

Thank You, Josef

http://www.pewclimate.org/technology/factsheet/anaerobic-digesters

http://www.habmigern2003.info/biogas/methane-digester.html

http://www.mrec.org/pubs/Anaerobic_Report.pdf

http://www.water.siemens.com/en/products/sludge_biosolids_processing/digesters/pages/default.aspx?stc=wwiis250060

http://www.eisenmann.us.com/biogas-gw.php?gclid=CLPwuuiqs6sCFcWd7QodLSpexg

A Brief History of the Politics of Amfortas.

I had considered myself a Libertarian, for as long as I had been aware of such distinctions. However, I remember, hazily, being on Jimmy Carter’s side, during his debates with Reagan…This was in 5^th grade, and the teacher Mrs. Biggers, was not only mean and prone to screaming, she was decidedly in St Ronny’s corner. I’m certain that this had some influence. My folks were all Democrats…and their folks, and so on…but Politics was another of those things that was kept hidden from my brother and I. We were given a questionnaire, in the Civics semester, about Political Leanings. I came out very Left…but it felt too simplistic, to me.

I remember, during the ’88 election feeling that I had to make a choice, as it was my first time being eligible to vote in a Presidential contest. I went with Ron Paul…largely due to the Libertarian’s reputation as Pro-Marijuana…but also as an expression of my congenital Rebellion.. At the time, I paid little attention to politics, let alone economics…I wanted more Freedom! ….and was becoming more aware of it’s lack, in my daily life. I knew I didn’t like Republicans…Reagan and Daddy Bush always felt somewhat dishonest, to me…like there was something about them, behind the façade, that was fundamentally Wrong. I eschewed politics for a long time after that…I had other things to think about.

The wars, especially the Drug War, didn’t set well with me. There was always a feeling of Repression…largely undefined. What little attention I paid to politics, was mostly like this…a gut feeling. I liked Hightower..and Anne Richards…I liked Ross Perot…Clinton was OK, mostly because his name was not Bush.

It wasn’t till I moved to Austin that I became aware, politically. The intransigence of the Republicans, the self righteous BS of Newt, and company…they were associated with the Rabid People, in my mind…the Bombing in Oklahoma was perpetrated by one of theirs…and I leaned Left.

I knew I was Not Republican…and Democrats seemed, even then, to be little better. Dems made noises that I liked, but didn’t follow through. I didn’t make the distinction, at the time, but I was a Left Libertarian…the influence of Jefferson and the Beats, and the whole Hippy Milieu meant that I really didn’t fit, anywhere. I hated the idea of War..the Wars in my time felt dishonest…not like WW2…not Just Wars…more about Business, with a Crusader Patina, that wouldn’t become overt, till much later. I sympathized with Clinton, during the scandals. He was getting railroaded…that was obvious. The economy, at the time, while better than it is now, didn’t have any justice to it. Clinton , and the Dems, were the only ones who said anything even remotely connected to the economic realities I was beginning to understand….but my perception was that they were full of shit, too…just not as much so, as the Republicans. The Republicans were an obvious opponent. Everything about them said to me,”we’re after you!”. The abortion mess, never mattered to me, really…until high school, when I helped a friend get one. That issue was the only thing about Ron Paul I didn’t like. Later, I would add the Pro Corporate stance of the Libertarians to my list of differences….but that was later. I was nacently anti Government…largely due to the whole Waco/Ruby Ridge thing…and the Drug War.

In Austin, I knew a lot of homeless people, young and old…lot of Vietnam Vets, living out of dumpsters…at the time, there began a crusade against the “blight” of homeless folks in Austin. My first Protest was against this. (wherein I drank beer with Molly Ivins, on Congress ave.) I was becoming politically aware, and active…and keenly aware of the injustices of our Economic System.

George Bush 2 was Governor…and was obviously a fool, and a Corporate Lackey, as well as being plugged into the whole conspiracy theorist’s nightmare of CIA/MKULtra, and other, assorted Evils…of course, at the time, I was certainly aware that Clinton was , too. The Richards/Hightower-Types were few and far between….and that’s where my sympathies lay. Too, I was married into the Black Sheep side of the Bush Crime Family…my wife’s paternal granddad was also George Bush, he was a cousin to the Kenebunkport Bushes…and hated them with a passion. Daddy Bush showed up, with the Secret Service at Grandma’s funeral…and there were stories of how the White Sheep Faction had stolen the family’s west Texas oil wealth.

During this time, Economic considerations drove me to Mason….and I , again, eschewed Politics. When Lil George ran for President, I thought, at worst, he would be a one-termer, and that whatever Dem came after would likely have some cleaning up to do…

I was more aware of Economics, in those days…enough to know that Corporate America was my likely nemesis…things like Nafta meant that the New Democrats weren’t the answer…and Republicans, of whatever stripe, were obviously in the corporate Pocket…so I was libertarian, still…even becoming Mason County Chair of the Libertarian Party(wholly ineffective)…the L’s own fellation of Corporations, as some kind of high expression of Freedom, finally drove me out. There seemed to be no party for me, save, perhaps, the greens.

Then 911, and the Nazi-like rhetoric, the militaristic chest thumping…the anti-intellectual nationalism…the sudden lurch to the Right…

I became a Reluctant Democrat.(the stolen election of 2000 played a large part, too). Evil had a face…and it wasn’t Al Quaida…it was Dick, Don and Lil George!

Into a Research Frenzy I went…one that I am just now wrapping up. I weighed all the various “Conspiracy Theories”…noted the surreality of Conventional Wisdom…delved into the History of the Right and Left…the Philosophy of it all. ..and sided with Gore and the Dems, as the last best hope for Freedom and a continuation of the Enlightenment.

I spent years reading the federal Register…piecing together a counter-narrative, that included the worst crimes of our country…

Economics and Political Philosophy…what I knew of the Bush Crime Family…”Conspiracy” as shorthand for “Crazy”, even though many of the “Theories” fit reality so much better than the Official Narrative. The Propaganda Onslaught, and the Love It Or leave It Nationalism, the Das Heimat Rhetoric…and the Dems half-hearted opposition to it all…I became a Lesser Evil Dem.

The Neocons were matched by the Neolibs as two sides of the same Evil. Corporate Feudalism, Friendly Fascism,and America,Inc.

A distinction had to be made, between the “Good” Dems, and the Bad. While I still distrusted Big Gov, I came to realize that it was likely all that stood between us and the Machine…a sad realization! The Language was all wrong! It was the language, the Meme-Space of the Right that had clouded everything(Yoda)…making honest political distinction impossible.

And here we are! Stuck in Surreal-Topia…Up is down, etc. The Corporate Machine has gone Global (long ago, it turns out…and with bipartisan support)…and there is nothing standing in the way of Eternal Fascism. Peak Oil is Real, and lurks behind all of this. The Conventional Wisdom is hopelessly marred, and the Framework I worked so hard to construct appears to be a lot closer to the Reality of things…but there is too much mud and confusion…too much knee-jerk Patriotism…and far too little Understanding.

I will continue to vote Dem…the alternative is too terrible….but I have little hope that Civilisation can be saved. We must go into the Burning Times,the Fall of American Empire…and likely the End of our Global Civilisation…I see nothing else that can possibly stop the Panopticon, the Dystopian Hell World that is rapidly being constructed.

My Task, as I see it, is…on the one hand…to “Rage against the dying of the Light”…and on the other, to Hunker Down…to try and preserve some ember of the best of Us….Secular Monasticism…a little Life Boat of Enlightenment, in a Sea of Darkness.

Re; Sand Mine.

http://www.masoncountynews.com/news/article/45459

What jumped out at me from Gerry’s article on the coming Sand Mine, in Katemcy, was the revelation that this “industry” is almost totally Unregulated.

Here is the much vaunted Free Market, at work. This Corporate Person has bought up all that land, and are Free to do as they will….no matter what the neighbors think. I noted the same Inconsistency, if not outright Hypocrisy, in the recent hubbub over Power Lines. Thankfully, in that fight, the Machinery of government was successfully brought to bear, for now. There appears to be no such recourse in this fight, however.

That this is true, that Government has little say in the operations of this Corporate Person, is wholly consistent with the Free Market Fundamentalism, so popular on the Right.

How often have we heard about “Freeing Job Creators” from “Government Interference”?

How often has Mr Hemphill, and many others, railed against those Damned Treehuggers and Overbearing Regulators?

Here is the result; a Corporate Person has bought land, and will soon degrade our Common Air, Pump an Incredible amount of our Common Water, clog our Common Roads with Trucks…and there ain’t a thing we can do about it.

Welcome to the Free Market you all have been pining for!

I cannot effectively water a garden, at this time, due to the drought, and the resultant water restrictions; and Green grass is almost nonexistent in Mason. Yet this “Person” can pump away, as there is , it seems, no one to stop them.

This coming Blight can be laid squarely at the feet of those who have hollered and screamed about “Big Government”, and largely succeeded in shrinking that government.

You have no one to blame, but yourselves.

Your votes matter…in the future, may I suggest that you consider the effects of those votes, and whether they are really in your interest.

my (unpublished) last word on the Sharia Hysteria in Mason

Hominem Unius Libri Timeo.(St. Th. Aquinus)

There often comes a time when one must leave intransigent opponents to themselves. Some folks just cannot be swayed from their habitual beliefs, no matter the evidence, or reasoned arguments. The sky will still appear Green, to them.

This is their Right. This is America, after all…where we are Free to believe all manner of Nonsense…and to promote those beliefs to the Public, at large.

I will defend that Right, however odious those beliefs seem to me, personally. As with the rest of the catalog of our Rights, they are meaningless unless afforded to the most heinous and unpopular among us. However, there is no Duty to give believers in a Flat Earth a seat at the table when deciding the Geography Curriculum. Indeed, Reason would seem to lean more towards keeping Flat Earthers as far away from Geography Instruction as possible. One’s Right to Speak, and to have and promote one’s Opinion can in no way be construed as including the Right to Force one’s Speech and Opinions on others, let alone on the General Public. Therefore, I will address the General Public, rather than anyone specific.

It is somewhat Pointless to argue with certain segments of our Society regarding their (Unfounded) beliefs that the USA is a Christian Nation. That is their Right, and is to be defended. I fear, however, that by letting this small, but very vocal, Minority have their way in small things, we set ourselves up for larger things, down the road.

In the last couple of years, Believers in the Far Right Version of Christianity have managed to insinuate themselves into various positions where they can influence, and often dictate, Public Policy. The recent flap over the State Board of Education is a prime example. The Pseudohistory of David Barton will soon be in Textbooks…that we are a Christian Nation, that Joe McCarthy was a hero, and that Thomas Jefferson was a minor figure, if he is mentioned at all. This is wrong, and serves no purpose save to further damage the education of our kids, and sow fear and hatred among the Public.

Anyone can cherry-pick the statements of our Founding Fathers to make their case.Too, anyone can cherry_pick the words in the Bible, the Koran or James Joyce to try and convince others to join in whatever Crusade they are mounting.

This is what Free Speech, and Republican Democracy, is all about.

However, in a Civilisation, such as ours…rumored to have been Founded on Reason…it is imperative that we guard against the encroachments of Nonsense into Public Life.

The usual retort to this kind of statement is that I am, thereby, Persecuting Christians.

Those offended have every Right to believe that, as well. But Civilisation only “works” if I am afforded the same Rights….and that some Common Ground can be discovered.

That Common Ground, currently,and for better than 200 years, is that no one Religion be promoted by the State.The Establishment clause, in the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, necessarily prohibits any involvement, by the State, in Religion. Therefore, if one wants their kids to receive Religious Instruction, one should look elsewhere than the Public Schools. Public Schools should deal in Commonalities…in the reality, and history, that We all agree on. This is getting more difficult as time goes on.

Similarly, the State is Prohibited from promoting, or favoring, any one Religion in any other area of Public life. This means that Non_Christians, including Muslims and Atheists, enjoy the same Rights and Protections as anyone else. No one can be discriminated against, or favored, due to their Religious beliefs. There must be Freedom of Religion for Everyone, even those you might despise, if there is to be Freedom of Religion for anyone.

One without the other is a recipe for disaster, as the Founding Fathers knew all too well.

Consider what would be the result, if those freedoms were suspended, if the Far Right of Christianity were to succeed in getting their Religion into Public Schools…Drive around Mason. Count the Churches. Which Version is to be taught? Shall it be Church of Christ? Methodist? That might not go down easily with the many Catholics among us….or the Lutherans. Whose Version shall it be?

Are we to impose a Literalist Reading of the Bible? If so, which Version?

This way leads to Chaos….and, eventually, if History has any weight, to a Hobbesian War of All against All.

Better, by far, to leave questions of Religion to the Family, and to the Individual….and keep the State out of it.

If the most despised minority is denied their Rights in questions of Faith, then no one’s Rights in such matters are secure.

on Relocalisation.

It seems like every week , or so, there’s a new, improved Bogeyman that we should all be terrified of….an Existential Threat to Mom and Apple Pie and all things American. These new “threats” send us caterwauling blindly into inaction, or worse, counterproductive action…action that actually makes things worse, mostly in quiet, unnoticed ways.

The recent spat over the “Islamic Threat” is case in point…Tea People get worked up over a threat that does not exist, and the handful of Democrats feel strongly enough about it to speak up…and around we go!

Meanwhile, electric bills are high, gas is high, propane is high, meat is high and even the crappy produce we get around here is high. Water is scarcer than ever. There’s lots of problems, right here….and with DC and Austin stuck in Ideological Amber, it’s foolish to wait for help from that quarter.

What can we do?

Several years ago, when Hurricane Rita blew through Houston, we had an opportunity to see just how thin the Patina of Civilization is…the trucks stopped running…our supply line was all but cut. Gas ran out, first Regular, then the next grade up, till all that was left was the “Premium”, high dollar stuff. The grocery store , without regular trucks, began to run out of the things we need, want and rely on.

I have news for you. Oil is getting scarce….at least the “low hanging fruit”…The oil that’s left is hard to get at, due to geology, geography and quality. Heavy oil, as opposed to “Light,Sweet Crude” is hard to get out of the ground, and even harder to refine.(there is currently One (1) refinery in the US that can handle the heavy stuff, and last I looked, it was owned by Venezuela). Things like Tar Sands, Oil Shale, and the like are even worse…not only environmentally, but economically,. EROEI, energy return, on energy invested, is a concept that must enter common parlance. If it costs more energy to get a barrel of oil than is contained in that barrel of oil, then getting that barrel doesn’t make sense.That’s why there are so many idle pump jacks in West Texas…the field is played out…Texas(and the USA, in general, save Alaska) reached Peak Oil in 1971. This situation is also why the rigs, offshore, are getting deeper and deeper. The Easy Oil has already been sucked out and used up.

I could go on, but you get the picture. Further information can be had with a google search of “Peak Oil”…or you can ask me.

The rub is that we will have to do more things for ourselves, in much different ways than we are used to. There is simply no “Replacement” for Cheap Oil. A Relocalization of Everything is in order, if we want to salvage a modicum of Civilization. Mason , without Cheap, Easy Oil, is a Wilderness Outpost.

I note that while the drought has all our Ranchers scrambling to get rid of their herds, the price of meat actually goes up. Thousands of Cattle pass through Mason, every week…hardly a pound of hamburger stays here.Too, when I drive to Fredericksburg to get Lamb Chops, they are expensive, and come from Australia…after I drive past 1000 sheep on the way there! We need a local processing/slaughtering facility. Sadly, the Giant Meat Packers (all 4 of them!) have succeeded in jiggering the Regs to all but prevent Local Meat Processing. A Coop is probably the only way around this, but it needs to be done.

I also note that while, as mentioned above, we get pretty crappy produce around here(due to business practices, and the nature of the Factory Farm Model), it’s very difficult for any local gardener to sell produce, locally. Corporate Grocers require enormous Liability Insurance, and have quite silly policies regarding the sourcing of produce…again, the Regs are partly to blame, as they were written by the Big boys. This, unlike the Meat situation, is easy to fix. The city should make available space for a Farmer’s Market, or two….without the usual fees and unnecessary rules.

These two things, alone, would do wonders for Mason, in my opinion….not the least of which is a little income for all the poor people around here.

Hand in hand with these is so called Value Added Foodstuffs. One is required to make jelly, salsa, and whatnot( everything that is not fresh and raw, basically) in a “Code Kitchen”. These are expensive to build and maintain, and there’s not a lot of opportunity for profit making to justify such endeavors under the conventional model. The City could facilitate this by, at the very least, easing up on some of the taxes and codes for such a place…perhaps to be run as a “nonprofit”. Again, a source of income for all our poor folks, as well as an alternative to the boring, homogenous corporate controlled fare, available now.

On Energy, there is an enormous resource currently being vented to the atmosphere…and for which the city and county have been fined; Methane. Methane is “Natural Gas”, and is produced by every living thing. Our sewer system, and landfill and the feedlots, produce gobs of this stuff. All that is needed is to capture it, run it through charcoal, and burn it…to produce heat, electricity…to cook with. The septic tanks, out in the country are already(somewhat inefficient) methane digesters. My napkin calculations indicate that my little bunch, chickens included, produced enough Methane to negate our need for Propane, in an average Winter. Perhaps a tax incentive to our local Propane companies is in order to ease the pain of a transition.

Wind, too, is a viable alternative. I understand that no one really likes the idea of gigantic turbines on the hills, but wouldn’t it be great to have cheap power, for us? The recent flap over powerlines is a direct effect of the Centralization of Power Generation. As much as 40% of what is generated is lost in Transmission. I reckon the Power generated Here, should stay Here

The difficulty of doing all these things is why I’m a Democrat. Who, but Government, has the resources to undertake such large, but arguably essential, endeavors?

Most of these things require a large initial investment…and unless there’s a Bill Gates lurking in our hills, with an overriding concern for the welfare of Mason County, I don’t know where else to look. We can consider it “Creeping Socialism”, “Big Government” and all manner of other Evils…or we can look at it like a WPA, a CCC, for the 21^st Century….an Investment in Us, for Us and by Us.

Just food for thought.

A kerfuffel has erupted in sleepy Mason Texas...due to this http://www.masoncountynews.com/news/article/44178 ...and the letters that followed(scroll down):http://www.masoncountynews.com/news/section/54

Here is my response...

I do not Fear Muslims.

At least, not just because they’re Muslim.

Similarly, I do not Fear Christians, Commies, Mexicans, Black People, Union Organizers, or Various Evil Spirits.

What I do Fear, is Ignorance…especially the Willful Kind.

Ignorance often has a corollary…Certainty.

I Fear this, as well, for it so often leads to Stupidity.

I did not attend the little exposition this past week.

I didn’t feel the need to…the organization has a website, after all…and a pretty comprehensive one, at that. Lots of links…

It was through perusing this site, and those links, that I could determine that this woman, Ms. O’Brien…who could very well be well meaning and sincere, was nevertheless…Wrong.

I have read the Koran, as well as large swaths of the Hadith…which is kind of the Islamic analog to the Jewish Mishnah…a commentary on the respective Holy Book.

I find no more Violence in these passages than I do in the Bible…or any other Sacred Text. We are a somewhat Violent Species.

I found the Web site of this organization Specious and Self Referential…filled with errors and misconceptions…most of which were easily dispelled with a simple google search.

What I found most disturbing, is the rhetoric, and the pseudoarguments, used by this organization, and those it has linked itself to. History Rhymes, as someone once said….and the language used, against Muslims, has been used before…against many others. In the USA, it has been used against “Reds”, Brown People, Black People, Red People…and , recently, Teachers. Imagery of “Cancer”, or “Vermin”(see Glenn Beck,et al.)…. Of some nefarious group, lurking in the shadows, eating out our substance…admonitions to “Be Vigilant”…to “Wake Up!”.

At the risk of violating Godwin’s Law, the rhetoric Rhymes with that of the Nazis, and Stalin, Pol Pot…well , the list is pretty extensive…

Some, if not most, of the regular folks who believed this stuff were, indeed, well meaning and sincere,(look up “Good German”,or see Milton Mayer’s “They thought they were Free”) but the facts remain.

Power sometimes needs to convince the People that there is an Existential Threat, in order to gain, or maintain, support. Scapegoats are sought out and held up…here is the Problem…here is your Enemy.

When times are hard, we must be especially vigilant that we do not fall prey to these machinations.

Guard against Gullibility.

Ms O’Brien , the original announcement states, “… graduated in 2010 from the invitation-only, prestigious Strategic Engagement Group for the Study of Islamic Doctrine in Washington, DC.” A web search reveals that, just for starters, this group received high praise from the likes of Lt Gen. Jerry Boykin…who, if you remember, tried to turn our current wars into a Crusade against Islam…and was called to the carpet for his trouble. A cursory search on one of the principals in this organization reveals that he, John Guandolo, is a former disgraced FBI Agent…who has ties to such luminaries as Pseudohistorian David Barton, and the Rifqa Bary “Controversy”. Another, Steven Emerson, while lauded by Neoconservative Elements, is considered a hystericist by many.

On ACT’s own site, the founder and apparent head person, Brigitte Gabriel, aka Nour Saman, makes numerous errors and utilizes many Logical Fallacies to convince folks to Fear Islam…according to her Wiki page, she rubs elbows with the likes of Pat Robertson, David Horowitz, John Hagee, and Pam Gellar…all well known for their rabid Islamophobia. .Hardly credible, in my opinion.

These folks peddle Hysteria, Fear and Loathing.

What we need is, rather, Understanding.

Instead of getting all one’s information , regarding Islam, from such one sided purveyors of Hatred, one should seek out “the rest of the story”, a la Paul Harvey. That’s what the Web is for.

Fear and hatred only lead to Violence and War, and I reckon that we have enough of those, already. Read the Koran, for starters…if you’re interested in knowing what it says…Visit a Mosque…there’s a few in Dallas, and I’m sure that more can be found.

“The intelligent person sees with the heart
the result from the beginning;
the one lacking in knowledge
only discovers it at the end.”

And,” In the sight of Love, fear isn't even as great as a single hair”

_Rumi,( Jalāl ad-Dīn Muḥammad Rūmī) , an 8^th century Persian Sufi Mystic)

....I don't know whether to expect cross-burnings, or what, from the pitch-forks and torches crowd. I drove by the meeting in question, and saw that the attendees were mostly old men, veterans and their wives. Figuring my attendance would be disruptive and counterproductive, I drove on.