Counterinsurgency/421offensive

Three years ago, the Texas Legislature passed, and Governor Good-Hair signed into law, a measure that allowed cops to treat Marajuana Possession as a Class C Misdemeanor....on par with running a red light. No longer did getting caught with a quarter bag mean, of necessity, Jail.
This was mentioned, in passing, below the fold, in the major Texas Papers, and ignored by local TV News.
There was, as well, a caveat....it was left up to individual Jurisdictions,... Counties, and the like...to decide if they would apply this new, more sane, way of dealing with the Noble Weed.
To date, only Travis County (Austin) has applied it.
...With zero Fanfare.
Republican Politicians can, with some regularity, and in all seriousness, advocate the End of Social Security, Medicare and the First and Fourteenth Amendments (among others)....but Politicians, of any stripe, can't touch the real Third Rail in America; The Failed and Unamerican War on Drugs....which translates into the War on Weed.
The Fear and Misinformation, the Blatant Lies and Stereotypes, have made it impossible to even discuss the problem, and everyone has a dog in the fight...
Cops make too much money from Asset Forfeiture, and Federal Grants...the former, from among the Poorest among us.With this cash, they can purchase Cop Toys, the better to spy on you with.
Not mentioned.
Big Pharma lobbies, with millions of dollars, to keep things just as they are...they don't wanna compete with something that folks can grow in their garden, and administer themselves..much better to force people to buy overexpensive, side-effect-ridden Pharmaceuticals...
This goes unmentioned, too.
Liquor Lobby, the same.A Government sanctioned Monopoly on Intoxication....the effects of which are violence and death, as opposed to Peace and Chillin'.
The Drug "Treatment" Industry doesn't want the Status Quo to end, either. All those State and Federal Dollars...
And let's not forget the Private Prison Industry.
The Drug War is a boon to them...in fact without the Drug War, and the immortal Immigration Fiasco, there wouldn't be that much need for Private Prisons...
Science is abused to foment this nonsense.
When Science determines that some plank in the Dogma is false, even if our own NIH conducts the study, it is buried, ignored...in favour of Hyperbole and Innuendo and Hysteria.
Aspirin, indeed meteors, are more dangerous than Pot.
But you'd never know it from the rhetoric.
A majority of Americans know all this, or at least suspect it...
But nothing can, it seems, be done.
We must remain stuck on the Insane Hamster Wheel of Stupidity.
We must continue to spend millions of dollars a year eradicating Ditch Weed....wild Hemp, left over from WW2 when the FedGov encouraged farmers to grow it (!)...and which has zero THC. (smoking a long ton of it won't get ya high).
We must continue to enforce our insane drug laws...thus driving up the price of Pot, and other drugs...so that Mexican and Columbian Drug Cartels can continue to reap Profits....and turn the Southern Border into a War Zone.(Much like Al Capone, et alia, were created by Prohibition.)
We must continue, and accelerate, the Militarisation of Cops...like little po-dunk towns "Need" a Swat Team.
The Militarised Cops must continue to bust down doors...on anonymous "tips"...shoot people, often at the wrong address, and force folks to Rat out their friends.
The East German Stasi were rank amateurs!
Leave it to America to show the world how to build and maintain a Police State.
We are forced to submit to drug tests, none of which are immune from failure, false positives...in order to keep a job at Wal Mart and Wendy's.(I can understand for Bus drivers, and the like...)
Our First Amendment Rights to Free Speech are routinely abridged, proactively by ourselves....if I were to get this little diatribe published in the Mason County News, I would become even more of a Person of Interest...subject to increased scrutiny by Law Enforcement....wear a T-shirt advocating an end to Prohibition, get extra attention.
Our Fourth Amendment has been gutted...so many exceptions have been attached, without an Amendment to the Amendment...that it is, essentially, meaningless.
Fifth Amendment? Forget it. Ya get caught with Weed, you are encouraged to "Inform" on your buddies, with the possibility of a "lighter sentance"....you are Forced, thereby, to work for the Police State....become a Traitor to your friends and family, an unpaid servant of an Immoral Machine.
All the remainder of the Bill of Rights, with the possible exception of the Gun Amendment(2nd), have been eviscerated and made irrelevant.
Jury Nullification, one of Jefferson's favorite Ideas, whereby a Jury can Judge the Law, itself...has been scuttled. Jurors are told, in effect, to be docile lackeys of the Judge...that Nullification is a Myth.
Indeed, the easiest way to get excused from Jury Duty is to say the word "Nullification."
The saddest, most maddening, part of this, to me...is the persistance of the Mythology of Weed, despite all evidence to the contrary.
Cops, and even EMT's and ER Doctors (who should know better), continue to insist that Weed = Heroin=PCP. That they are equally dangerous, and Always Bad.
It doesn't matter that Weed is, arguably, the safest drug known to man...that no one has ever died directly from it's use...that the Gateway Theory has been repeatedly Disproven...That D.A.R.E. is counterproductive...That the movie "Reefer Madness" is high comedy,rather than an accurate depiction of reality....that Pot has many medical uses.
The cry is heard, whenever Medical Pot comes up, "There are no studies that show medical benefit, or essential benignity"....
One, there are Numerous studies giving the lie to all of this...conveniently Ignored by the government and Corporate Media...
Two, in order to study Pot, a researcher must get approval from the DEA...which is rarely given....and who looks over the shoulder of said researcher, and vetoes any findings contrary to the Dogma. Then one must procure Pot. This can only be done, legally, by purchasing it(at a considerable markup) from one, single, Government-Run Farm in Georgia.
It is unknown how closely this Government Weed resembles the stuff out in the World...

In the 40, or so, years since Tricky Dick declared the WOD, We the People have spent Trillions of Dollars...
How many teachers could have been hired? How much Healthcare, provided?
Nixon, in his own words, knew that Weed wan't a Danger...he Demonised it in order to have something to use against his opposition on the Left...at the Time, the Hippies protesting the War...
The War on Drugs was, and is, a Political Weapon....and this is it's most essential use...never spoken of.
It is a continuation of the Cold War, the Red Scare, and, now...the Global War on Terror...in which Terrists are hiding under the bed, ready to eat up all the apple pie, or something.
Another tool in the box of repression.
Weed is a Mind Expander...potheads tend to think outside the box.
Can't have that! Someone,perhaps even a Critical Mass, might realise how the Machine is fucking us!
...and that Door can never be opened, lest the Machine loose Power.

The beginnings of the War on Weed were blatantly Racist...in the 20's and 30's, in the South, to facilitate running Mexicans out of town....
Then Black Jazz Musicians were added to the list of Undesirables who smoked Pot...then Commies.
The first Marijuana Tax Act (they had to do it this way to get around that pesky Constitution...remember, they had to Amend it to outlaw Booze...)...was implemented in 1936. It was set up as a catch-22;One had to have a Tax Stamp on one's Weed, which could only be gotten if one was already in violation.
Weed went underground, till the 60's...when Anti-Commie Hysteria started to lose it's effectiveness on America's Youth.
They were out in the streets, protesting the War, demanding Civil Rights for Coloreds,for Women...an end to the Establishment.
And many of these Malcontents were Potheads!
Now, 40 years and Trillions of dollars later, Weed is still associated in the "Conventional Wisdom" with Scary Hippies, Scary Commies, Scary Black People...all of whom Hate America, and want to see it become a Soviet Communist Worker's Paradise complete with Jack Boots and Death Squads...(!?!?)
Kind of silly, when one thinks about it...considering that America has become a Police State as a result of all this anti-Pot, anti Union, anti Democratic Hysterical Hyperbole....a Right Wing, Fascist Paradise.
Curious.
I am weary of being compelled to hide my Pot Use.
How can something so Stupid and Unamerican continue for so long?
All, every one, of the "Reasons" for prohibiting Marijuana have been knocked down, disproven....and still we continue to allow otherwise innocent folks, Americans, to be imprisoned, branded as Criminals, forced to hide in the shadows, and be suspicious of their friends.
The Machine has the War on Terror, now...with which to scare us, to justify it's criminal behaviour...
While we're in Fear of Terrists behind every tree,with Loose Nukes, can we not, at least, smoke a Joint?
If they Hate Us for Our Freedom,by all means,let us give them a little more Freedom to Hate.
Legalise It!

Hair Crusade!

I am forty years old, an American Citizen and a Father to two boys.
I am also a Man who prefers his hair to be long....contrary to the Norms of the Society I find myself in.
This Manifesto is a sort of "heads up" to you, that this Will be an issue in the future...as my Boys are already making noises about wanting longer hair, "Like Daddy".
I Will Not Cut my Hair to support your Policy, as it would do injury to my Self Esteem, as well as my Integrity.
Non Serviam.
I have endured hardship for most of my life because of this, and would like to appeal to you that this injustice not be continued for another generation.
Schools, in past court cases, rely on certain assertions to justify their intolerance of longer hair on boys.(These are taken, verbatim, from the Amicus Curie provided to the Court by TASB, in the Needville Case)
1. To teach hygiene.
2.To instill discipline.
3. To prevent Disruption.
4. To avoid safety hazards.
and 5. To assert authority.

I will now stick an Arrow in each.


1. "To teach hygiene".
Logically, this falls flat...are not most girls encouraged,by societal Norms, to maintain long hair?
Are they, thereby, Dirty?
There is nothing inherently "dirty" about long hair.
There's this product one can purchase, called "Shampoo"....it cleans one's hair.
Morally, this smacks of Discrimination.
Women fought for, and won, the right to wear pants...which were, historically, the attire of men.
How,exactly, is this different?

2."To instill discipline."
I think that this has more to do with #5, than with any wish to "instill discipline,"..depending on the definition of "Discipline".
If we mean, "Punishment", then, yes...perhaps...although I can't think of any crime that could have been comitted.
Original Sin?

On the other hand, it takes discipline to maintain long hair.
One must spend a lot more time brushing, and detangling with long, than with short.
One must also learn how to keep it out of the way, for instance, when preparing food, or working with machinery.
"Discipline" must here be read as "Submission".


3.. "Prevent disruption".
In my own experience, quantifiably more disruption is caused by the enforcement of such policies, than they prevent.
It's not 1950, anymore. The court case referred to as Ferrel, 1968, had to do with some male students being barred from class due to their "Beatles-style haircuts".. The time when such things could reasonably be considered "disruptive" is long past.Hairstyles accepted, in the broader Society, have changed...many times. Indeed, the "High and Tight" that so many School Policies seem to be aiming towards, could be seen as more anomalous.

4."To avoid safety hazards".
I presume that this is referring to the above mentioned machinery problem.
Again, there is a simple solution, in the form of a readily available product, called a "Hair Tie".
I use these all the time, when working with things that might entangle my hair...or when preparing food.
And, again, if a girl were to enroll in shop-class, would she be required to cut her hair?
If not, then this is Discriminatory.

5."To Assert Authority."
Here we get to the Meat of the matter.
I assert that this is the real reason behind the rules regarding boys and long hair.
In loco Parentis, gone too far.
In my experience, the Administration is interested in maintaining it's own authority...no matter the facts, and no matter the real-world consequences.At it's root, I suspect that there is a longing for "Simpler Times"...a Fear of all the "disruptions" of the 60's , and onward.
My own experience involved being forcibly carried, and held down, my senior year, so that a "Cosmetology Student" could shear me.
All manner of Logical Fallacies were employed to justify this behaviour.
What it ended up doing, however, was reinforcing my distrust, and dislike, of Authority....and causing much more of a Scene, than I had ever courted.
They could give me no reason for this rule that didn't rely on, essentially,"Because we say so".
The heart of my argument against such rules, is that this is Unamerican.
Arbitrary Authority is to be Challenged.
I can hear the refutations bubbling..."but they're children!".
To that I say BS.
What are we really teaching with this policy?
To Submit to Arbitrary Authority?
Authority that can be asserted without any Reason or Logical Support?
To single out a child because of his failure to conform to an arbitrary "Norm" , when that child has done nothing to harm anyone, is simply wrong.
It cannot be justified.
Raj Singh, of Valparaiso University (re:below) said, "
1. A man's reasons for abstemtion from haircutting practices all relate to his assertion, intended consciously or subconsciously, that he is not the servant of other men.
2.When people in positions of (non-religious) authority demand that a man cut his hair or shave his face, their purpose is to require the clipped man to openly demonstrate his obedience and subservience to them."
The many court cases over the last 50 years regarding this matter have all relied on the above enumerated "reasoning".
They have consitently held that the school's interest is served by discipline and authority.
I assert that thge policy has the opposite effect than that which was intended.
I am the evidence for this assertion.
"Styles" of the wearing of hair have changed, over millennia.
Are we to remain stuck in time, on this one issue?
I assert that is not the business of Government to dictate the style or appearance of the People, whether they be 4 or 40.






I was born with Large Ears...the kind that stick out from one's head, like Wings.
Children are Cruel...Dumbo...Fly Away....
I was tormented, as a child, due to my ears...they were pulled and tugged till they were red and painful...
I started wearing a baseball cap in around 3rd grade...specifically to cover my ears.
Of course, hats of any sort are forbidden in school...and are looked down the nose at indoors, even as an adult...(like in Court.)
So, early on, I started resisting haircuts.
Joe the Barber, in Tomball, would always trim me so that my ears got maximum spread and visibility.
This "need" for longer hair was an unconscious response to the treatment my ears engendered.
Rather than deal with the treatment, the PTB (teachers, parents, etc) focussed on my hair.
At the same time, my Genius was asserting itself...(likely the Real Reason that my "peers" tormented me...).
With Genius comes realisation of Anomalousness....and Rebellion follows.
As I got older, my hair would get longer...no longer would I walk, as to the Gallows, to the barber Chair....I had to be forced.
Freshman year is when I really asserted myself.
I was continually forced to get bad haircuts in the school's "Cosmetology Lab"...and when I started growing whiskers, I was also forced to shave...usually in the Vice Principal's (Roy) Office, with a rusty, dry razor...( there's bad hygiene, for you!)
All of this was , supposedly, to prevent my "Appearance" from causing a "Disruption"...
I protested that the enforcement of such edicts was causing the disruption....a reasonable assertion...to no avail.
It was, in realty, about Their Controll over Me.
After High School, my first job still wouldn't allow a beard, but didn't care about long hair...so long as it was clean and tied up....thus proving wrong yet another "reason" for the Rules; that the Schools are "preparing" Students for the realities of Life.
Now, I'm 40 years old....
I have had very long hair for 20 years...and worn a beard and mustache for most of that time.
I "remember" to shave when it itches...and cut my hair when it gets a knot...
During this time, I have been persecuted by the Law.
Repeatedly.
I get singled out for searches, and questioning, when the Redneck standing next to me has a pocket full of dope.
Profiling!
Seems that 30+ years ago, a lot of folks with long hair were dope smokers.
ie Anti Establishment Types, who disdained the track of the present "Civilisation" and Rebelled against it.
The excuse for the continued targetting of Long Hair for "special treatment" by Law Enforcement is the failed War on Drugs.
The Operative Mythology states that if a Man has Long Hair, he must, necessarily, be a Dope Smoker...which means, always, that he is also shooting Heroin, and on PCP...and is , thus, a Violent Danger to Society.
This is Stupid on many, many levels...and is furthered by most Schools' insistance on the continuance of these stereotypes.
I feel most comfortable when my hair is long....it is no longer merely a stick in the eye of Authority.(That's just Lagniappe)
In High School, Roy (the VP) would try to explain things to me.
I'd say something about Equality, under the Law....after all , women were encouraged to maintain long,flowing locks...
He'd counter that Men shouldn't have long hair.(Hardly a refutation!)
I'd point to the picture of Jesus on his wall....
Are we not supposed to Immitate Christ?
(this was, admittedly, merely rhetorical, on my part...and he knew it...but the premise was/is valid...)
Or, I'd say, take Thomas Jefferson, et alia....
These arguments were never refuted....save by some mealy mouthed assertion of "the way things are..."
Not good enough.
Senior year, in Tomball, I told VP Pit Viper that I was Rastafarian, and that, therefore, was forbidden by my religion from cutting my hair.
This worked, for a time, till she (I guess) did a little research....
Turns out that one must be Black to be Rasta....
I assert that it shouldn't have mattered in the first damn place!
That my hairstyle is a function of my Freedom of Expression...and is, thus, Protected, under the First Amendment.
I have heard the silly retorts my whole life...."But it is a Choice...You can conform, and stop the Persecution...therefor it is Not a Civil Rights Issue".
i say Bullshit.
That's a half baked Excuse...just like the "Disruption" argument.
It has no more merit than the appeal to Authority or Tradition.
I am either Free, to be who I am, whom I choose, while harming none.....or I ain't!

Now, I am a Father.
My oldest Son has a Dad who is a Long Haired Hippie.
Naturally, he wants to emulate this.
The school, however, is operating under the same, intolerant principals, as always.
8 years old, and he is Forced to keep his hair short, and in line with the style deemed "acceptable" by the Administration.
No reasons are given , beyond the same, tired Logical Fallacies that I dealt with.
(Appeal to Authority/Tradition)
Whether the Society, at large, likes it or not...I am an Adult...finally Free to wear my hair the way I see fit.
I vote. I pay the Taxes that pay the salaries of ,ostensibly, "my" employees.
Must we continue this charade for another Generation?
Are we really going to Alienate another kid?
To what end?
I'll make, here, my own Appeal to Tradition....
the American Tradition of Standing Up to Authority...of Demanding that Stupid, and Unjust Laws and Rules be Amended!
That's the kind of Tradition I endeavor to Teach my Sons.
What are the schools teaching, with this blind acceptance of Authority?
It is NOT 1950.
Those among us with an Authoritarian bent are Free to Pine for that Golden Age....that is their Right.
But to Force such nonsense on those who do not share their Pining is Wrong.
The World has moved on.
My kid sees his heroes, Albert Einstein among them, with long hair.
His Dad has long hair.
Yet the school will insist, beyond all Logic...that it's their way, or the highway.


I can almost hear the retort, as I'm writing this..."But, Joe, this is hardly a Big Enough Deal to raise such Hell over..."
I have been dealing with this issue for most of my life.
It Is a Big Deal.
This is America...it is rumored that we won the Cold War...which was, supposedly, fought against a repressive , conformist and authoritarian ideology.
Yet, the only refutation I get to my complaint is based, when you get right down to it, on an Appeal to Authority.(which is a Logical Fallacy)
My Sophmore year, last day of classes...the Ag boys chased me around campus with sheep shears.Roy looked the other way.
Is that the kind of intolerance and Violence we want to encourage?
If you look different, if you are outside of the "Norm", you are Fair Game?

My kids, 4 and 8, currently, want to grow their hair...just like Dear Old Dad.
This harms no one.
Am I to tell them that they must Submit, when every fiber of my being says Stand Up!?
Submission to Authority is for Slaves...for lesser men.
To suspend students for the length of their hair smacks of Authoritarianism...and my boys, young as they are, are already learning that Authority must be Earned.
That it cannot be granted, or arrogated, on "Say so".
That Submission is Anathema to Free Men.
Would you have me amend these teachings?
On what grounds?
I am interested to hear your thoughts.

Prowler

An Example of a Known Unknown

Prowler.
In 2004, my Mom went to Magnolia. Don, the Belligerant Eunich, was in the VA for an extended stay.I was left in charge....and noticed nothing amiss...
untill Mom got home and called me.
The sliding door, which noone ever used, was unlocked and open about 4 inches.
I employed my inherent Indian Tracking Skills, and determined that someone had been there....crushed plants,etc.
Backtrack 5 years:Neighbor, "Tiger", before he actually moved next door, had goats, but no well.
We, being kind, strung a hose from our well to his fenceline.
Fine and dandy.
We were building a pumphouse around the well, for the approaching winter....
Tiger left the water running on several occassions...damaging the pump...
So I cut him off.
Hard winter....lights and a heater on the pump apparatus, as the house wasn't finished....hard freeze, and the lights/heater get turned off.
Smallish bootprint in the dirt around the pump.(Tiger is a smallish dude...with the attitude that goes with being a Small Man.)
We lay in wait many nights....nothing.
Finished pumphouse, and locked it up.
2 years later, Tiger moves in.Next door.
One night, Mom hears her dogs going crazy....like they have something trapped.
She goes out, 3 am , to find them w/ something cornered under a trailer.
As she calls them off, Tiger's little dog is there...then Tiger, himself, in a bathrobe, calls her name from the shadows...says he's after his dog...collects it and leaves.
Over the years, various tools disappear, and we went through 200# of hamburger awfully quick....but never made the connection.
Fast foreward to the sliding door.
Obvious that "someone" has been in the house.
We start noticing things....even footprints.
The friendly cats (out of 50 wild ones) are found dead....eviscerated.
Coke cans appear in stramge places.
We deploy baby monitors outside, to listen....all manner of strange noises.
We deploy little infra red cameras...again, anomalies...
Sherrif is not interested.
Don is still gone, so we move in with mom...she's freaking out.
I have guns, begin patrolling at odd hours (I was working nights ata cafe, got home around 11pm).
One night, I'm sitting there with mom, drinking beer after work, litening to the monitors.
Gunshot! Sounds like a shotgun.
I run out, trail of footprints in the grass...leading to the gulley.
I'm there, with the barking dogs, the Q-Beam, and the .357.
no way they had time to get past the tall grass in the gulley...So I empty the gun into the likely patches of brush.
Reload, and empty it again.
Nothing.
Next day, I'm out there....and find where a person was laying.
Footprints, even.Missed the fucker by 2 feet! The Stones on that guy!
Sherriff is not interested.(?)
Out feeding one afternoon, boys playing in Mom's yard, I see Tiger....observing us from his fence....in the bushes...with a rifle.
Only saw him 2 more times...
We escalated...put up motionlights and cameras...(cops said that was a deer with a flashlight in the goatbarn...)
I knew he had nightvision scope on his 22....so we got a night vision monacle.
I, the cripple, am laying in wait, under a tractor, w/ a 4-10, when I see what I interpret to be a cigarette cherry, thru the NV.
In the woods.
Then I see the IR beam, sweeping.
I fire....and realise that I am outmatched...he has the Tactical Advantage.
We suspect that he is watching us during the day, from his brush.
Traps we set are defeated.
We begin surveillance...see when he leaves, set traps then.
Don's drunken, crazy war buddy comes to stay, after hearing of all this.
We're in the house, listeing...when there is a shot.We rush out, guns at hand, and find more dew trails....cops see them too...but do nothing.
Next day, we find a shotgun shell,12ga, in the area where the shot came from.
Don gets home a coupla days later, and while briefing him, I produce the spent shell.
He says that he had let Tiger "borrow" a 12 ga, years before.
He calls his house, his son is home from college, and brings the gun back....same type of shells.

This went on for years.
Fucker always had the jump...Tactical Advantage.
He could watch us, but we couldn't see into his place to watch him.
This was escalating at the same time that I was beginning to be cripple....my legs were going.
I quit my job...for both of these reasons.
Dead goats, strange wire, strange little knives and screwdrivers....doorknobs attacked, like someone was trying to get in....cameras sabotaged...trails threough the bushes along the common fence line....cigarette butts (Tiger's brand) in all manner of places.
He apparently had a baby monitor...mom and I both had phone calls with recordings from inside our houses.
Then, one November, Mom and Don were in Magnolia, again.
I got up at 5 to go let the animals out....
The new chicken house was no more.
Burnt to the ground, along with 8 guinneas, and 75 chickens...
The sherriff poo-poohed the cut extension cord.

One day, patrolling the fenceline, I smelled Ammonia....near a little building not 100' from the fence, on Tiger's place.
Meth.
Turns out that the sherriff was implicated in the local Meth Trade, as well....
At this time, however, Mom was losing her mind...due to all this.
She's seeing him everywhere...esp. on the tapes from the camera.
She says he's employing "holograms" and ropes and pulleys...that he's on her roof...in the trees...
I can see no evidence, nothing on the tapes, being rigorously objective.
Don turns against her.
It's "all in her head", etc.
I knew that I had seen enough...I was convinced that Tiger was sneaking around doing strange things....
But even footprints, and jimmied doors were not enough for the cops....or for Don.
Mom's psychosis, understandable as it was, didn't help.
At one point, I smelled something behind my house.
Upon investigation, there appeared to be a small bucket of dog shit. (I had no dogs).
Mom stopped sleeping.
I stopped sleeping.
Hyperawareness.
Me and Wife actually saw the little fucker, crossing the front field in broad daylight, one day.
I got the gun, and went up there.
Ground too hard for prints....but there he was, on his side of the fence, watching me.
I suspected that our houses, and phones, were bugged.(easier to do than I had thought)
It was like he Knew when we were gonna try something surprising.
So...I couldn't sleep. any way.
I'd give mom the code word (which we ca\hanged often) so she wouldn't shoot me...and I'd slip out a window, and go on random walkabouts.
On a few occasions, there was a shot....and not from Tiger's direction.
So I'd hop in the truck, open all our gates and cruise all the fencelines, shooting up the brush with a 12 ga.
>00Buck.
Fucker called the cops on me!
(We lived way out in the middle of nowhere...he was our closest neighbor...next closest was a mile away)
I was reading Casteneda's Don Juan....and decided to try Magic.
I mean, why the hell not?!
So I go sit on the fencerow...and focus till m head hurt.
Visualised entering Tiger's house,finding his bed, and him.
I mentally went inside him, visualising the tinyest detail of anatomy...I squeezed his heart....poke holes in his brain....
I did this many times...
I couldn't sleep, anyway...and I could never actually catch him.

A year ago, Mom's in Magnolia....and Don loses his head.
I am the root of all his problems(!).
(related elsewhere).
We end up moving out.
Now mom has 2 enemies, Tiger and her Husband.
I hear through the grapevine recently, that Tiger has "aggressive Altzheimer's" and can no longer be left alone.
I am shocked by this news.
Did I do that?!
Is it an explanation for all the surreality?!
For almost 5 years, I have been hyperaware, and thought of as crazy...
I mean, why would anyone do the things we were accusing Tiger of doing?
Cops figgured it was me, or Mom, herself....I am a long haired Hippie (ergo a Dope Fiend), and me and Mom are strange ducks...Liberals, artists, etc....
Don hasn't helped...befriending the Sherriff, slandering me, telling them Mom is crazy as a latrine rat....

My Reason, my Rigorous Skepticism, says: either it was Tiger, or it was something Paranormal.
There are no other explanations....I have been over it a million times.

Nekkid

How many times have my neighbors seen me Naked?
I have endeavored to shield my Refuge, my Curtelage, from the World...
The Back Yard is enclosed; fences, the Smithy, 15' Sun Flowers, Strategically allowed Bushes and Trees.
Probably a million times, if they're paying attention...
Mostly, folks don't pay attention, however.
I have always been a Naturist.
10 years old, and I'm Naked in the Woods.
Mostly nothing Sexual about it...that's just the Puritan Mythology at work.
Nakedness breeds Honesty...there is Nothing to Hide behind.
And if there's one thing our Civilisation cannot abide, it's Honesty.
Neitzche said, as Zarathustra,"Uniform they call it, that which they wear. Is it not Uniform, that they therewith Hide?"
Clothing...beyond protection from the Elements...is a Social Construct.
It Speaks of Fear....Fear of Oneself, of Others, of the World.
Fear is expressed as Shame. Of what are you Ashamed?
Uncle Walt said, "Undrape! You are not Guilty, to me!"
I reject Original Sin.We hide ourselves from ourselves...and thereby hide the God Within Us.
In America, Nakedness is equated with Sexuality.
Sexuality, is Forbidden.
1600 Years of Fear of the Sensual....since Augustine became Afraid.
And Separated Man from Nature.
From the Divine.
From Belonging.
Duality breeds Fear.
Fear of the Other...the Not Us.
And what of the Other within Us?
We are encouraged to be Afraid of that one, as well.
What we are taught to Fear, by Misdirection, is Truth.
We are a Part of the World, not Separate from it.
The Divine is within us, and we have no need of Priests,Interlocutors, MiddleMen...they ensure us that we Need them,
but this is for the purpose of Justifying their Priviledge.
If we have God within us, what need for Them?
Our Society is Ill...War, Rapine, Greed...we Misdirect our Shame onto Ourselves.
This serves to Shield our Civilisation from Introspection...and those who benefit from the War and Avarice can continue...
Because they have convinced us that it is Us that is the Problem.
Go to the Wild...and Get Naked.
Be Still.
The Wilderness Forgives, easily.
Soon, the critters, the Wild Things, Forget that you are there...that you are separate.
That's because you are not.
You are a part of the World.
And Mighty because of it.

41

Wednesday.
September Third, Anno Domine One Thousand Nine Hundred and Sixtynine.17:45 EST.
Falls Church, Virginia, United States of America.
What an interesting Life it's been, thus far.
Musician, Farmer, Chef.
Itinerant Bluesman, Bum,Outlaw.
Road-Warrior.Hobo.
Nurse to the dying.
Amateur Psycho-Therapist.
Husband. Father.Uncle.
Historian, Mythologist, Writer and Poet.
Shaman. Iconoclast.Explorer.
Genius.
Fool.
Philosopher.

Physically, I feel much, much older than 41...75, perhaps.
In Mind and Soul....a strange dichotomy.
I am told that I have an Old Soul...that I have too much insight and experience for my years.
And I feel this.
Yet, I am amazed, when I realise my age.
On the one hand, has it really been 24 years since I left Mom's? It seems like yesterday...and I feel as if I am 16, still.
On the other hand, how have I managed to stuff so much into 41 years? It is as if I have had several Lifetimes, crammed into one.
The years crawl by, yet seem to have flown.

I am almost four times the age of my Paternal Grandfather, when he left home and joined a Circus....sweeping up after Elephants.
More than twice the age of his brother when he died earning a Silver Star on Guam, in the Second World War.
This last year has been one of Remembering.
All the detritus of Gagoo's House...all the souveniers, the little things of my Maternal Grandfather, his watch, his CCC Card.
The Cloud that has been over my own past has thinned, as well.
I am beginning to remember my own Life more clearly than in many years...has it really been twenty years, this December 17th, since the Big Wreck?
I came out of that disaster with an almost genetic imperetive, a subconscious drive, to Burn....to "Suck the Marrow Out of Life".
In that, I have succeded...and then some.

It is the Fall of the year....I can smell it.
Soon, we will be visited by repeated Cold Fronts that will knock me on my ass...confine me to my bed.
Fall, when one can smell it coming, even though it still feels like Summer, has always made me restless.
I want to Go!
The leaves begin to turn, the morning mist in the Garden is chill, the Winter Stars are more and more visible in the eastern sky...
But I am past my Travelling Days.
My Body can only stand limited Going....well planned, and more endured than enjoyed.
No more all night runs to New Orleans, or the West Texas Desert...no more sleeping on the ground, when I sleep at all.
No more Hiking into Backcountry.
I must become used to a Sedentary Existance.Arrange my Mortal Remains, in some semblance of Comfort, among my Books and Music and the Detritus of my life.
I have already become Sedentary...a Hermit...but I am Not used to it.
I have become Shy and Withdrawn...no longer Gregarious.
Too long in the Wilderness...and too long as an Anomaly.
I have forgotten how to be around People.

I must Reinvent Myself, again.
Will into Reality yet another Version of Me.
I was merely a guitar player, until I became a Guitarist.
A cook...till I was Chef.
Everything has been like this....I am interested, I learn all about it, and then I become it.
Almost inadvertantly....it is much like falling down....
Confident in my own Ability and Intelligence.
Since the legs have been deteriorating, causing the same in the rest of my body, I have been afloat....all the things I could Do were growing more difficult,Painful, if not Impossible...
This caused a Crisis of Self Image...lasting years.
I am, finally, collecting my Mojo.
The Word I have been using is "Philosopher"...although I am unsure of it's adequacy.
Knowledge, itself, has become "What I Do"...as arrogant as that sounds in our current Culture.
I have, slowly, become intrigued by the Nexus of Philosophy, History, Politics and Mythology....and how they Operate in America and the World in the early 21st Century.

Yesterday, I came across a website for an organisation...the National Coalition for Independent Scholars....NCIS.
My Mojo says, "That's Me!"...
But, the Psychological Malaise of the past six years is sticky....clinging like some Cthonic Moss.
Do I fit the Criteria?
Am I too Anomalous for them, too?
What has always been lacking is Belonging.
I... Fit ...nowhere.
I went to college in order to find the Salon, the Stoa, the Parisian Cafe.
Finding only Mundane things, I went to Austin for the same things...and was, again, disappointed.
The growing Anti-Intellectualism, as well as the dominant Trends in Academia,... Specialisation, Dogmatism and the Priesthood of Experts,... has made it difficult to find my Square Hole.
Intellectuals have Compartmentalised themselves, ensconced themselves in Cubicles...too often Corporate Funded, further limiting their scope.
At the same time, the Masses have abandoned Jefferson's Ideal of an Educated Populus....ensconced, after their fashion, into Cubicles of their own.
Does no one enjoy Thinking? Learning?
Is there to be, no longer, Curiosity about the World?
A Hunger for Knowledge, even (or especially!) when it won't contribute to one's Career?
I find that I can't help being Curious...and attempting to Satisfy that Curiosity.
I Hunger...to Understand.

83120100400

Moon is bright...in my East Window in the Library.
I am reminded of other nights...the Hill, at Karen Switch.
Summer night...3am...couldn't sleep...out the window I go...Waxing Gibbous Moon in the West...and far off, to the Southwest,3 large Thunderheads...probably over Katy, or the seaward reaches of the Brazos.
Silent lightning playing in their upper folds, lit by the Moon...reds and greens from the discharges in their innards...
I sat at the Hill, for a couple of hours, watching them drift South, farther away...towards the distant Gulf.
A Silent Enless Night....Time crawled...the fields and woods lit by the Moon, like a shadow of Day...
the Trail leading down the Hill...dappled Moonlight...Whipporwills in the dark woods down by the tracks...other birds, rustling overhead in the Dogwoods at my passage...watching those distant storms....the Feeling...has never left me...
a Longing...

Much later...another night.
P and I living in the two trailers...the Technicolor Motor Home...in the Woods beneath the Hill...
Big Party...Beer and Wine and Rum and Acid...
Told 5 people...and 25 show up...Burned an old couch...Fire lighting the high Pine branches...I shocked the Tripping Crowd by producing a water hose from the tall grass to mitigate the fire...
Later, when the crowd had thinned to the most intrepid Trippers....we piled in the truck...and went to Nanduhirion...the 1000 acre deer lease behind Presley's.
Old Logging Roads went in a grand circle through the Deep Woods...we mustered at the Other Hill...the Highest Point in all the Neighborhood.
I kindled a campfire...wine coolers and beer and the Acid still raging...
And City Folk, not accustomed to Woods...
We resolve to find the Pond...a glorified mudhole, with a small spring...100 yards off the Main Logging Road.
Off we go, me in the lead....we get near the place where the Trail to the Pond should be...but I am on Acid, in the Moonlight...no flashlight...and cannot find it.
I decide, without informing the rest, that the Pond is Unfindable...as much as I wanted to get the girls naked in the water....
and that we would make the circuit...the 2 mile Road, looping through the Woods.
(I had let the fire burn down,btw)
So they all follow me....
Hour into our Trek...Chris,one of my roomates, who is there with her girl Billie...exlaims:"Where in hell are we...and why are we following Joe?"
We were on the far side of the loop...equidistant...
I said as much...
That we can go on, or go back...
We went on...12 Acid Heads following me into the Deep Woods...
Me, the only one who knew where we were, or how to get out...Chaaker comes up...the only one to express Trust in my Leadership...and remarks how Hilarious it is that all these folks had followed Me!
We finally made it to Camp...I got the fire back bright...and folks, the Acid starting to wane, lay around and pseudo crashed, till Dawn began to break...
As we were leaving, walking down the Logging Road back to my truck...Redneck Hunters were coming towards us...to get ready for Deer Season...They were not happy to see a Collection of Hippies and other Young Freaks, Bleary Eyed and Dirty...coming out of "Their" Woods....

Fall has begun

Fall has begun...in that we have had our first Cold Front.
I know...because I detected it in my Bones, and because it was 59 degrees, at 4am, for several mornings.
The Winter Constellations, as well as what I presume to be the Orionid Meteor Shower, have been in the Eastern Sky.
Sirius is no longer rising with the Sun...rather, an hour ahead of him.
This morning, the Lava Lamp has what looks suspiciously like a Tit, on the bottom, complete with erect Nipple...while hanging from the top, there is a Phallus, with a bulbous Head.
The implication is clear.
I am Horny.
I took a picture, but there's only so much to be done with Digital.
Serendiptous Porn, in a Lava Lamp.
I await the Money Shot.

For some reason, we have been short of $$$ this month.
Two weeks to go, till payday, and I'm out of Cigs.
Might have something to do with the Phone Bill being back...(I had paid up for several months, with the last tax return)
Could, also, be the weekly trips to the Doctor...in Kerrville, and now Fredericksburg, for Ben's Allergy Shot....plus the two trips for the first Illnesses of Fall.(week before School)
Kerrville is 65 miles, one way.
Fritztown is 38, or so....
Too, cigarettes are an extreme $50/carton...even the Indian Cigs I am partial to.
Thanks, Obama and the more Liberal Congress Creatures.
Around 50% of the cost is Taxes....
A Regressive Tax, if ever there was one.
It is, according to the Rhetoric, paying for all the fine Health Care we recieve.(Scoff!)
I had been getting them online, from the Indian Reservation...a Soveriegn Nation...for $25/ct.
Now, it's illegal to send them in the Mail, even UPS.
Sticking it to Native Americans, once again.
And to the 20% who still dare to smoke.
Rolling my own, a lot, this month.
August, traditionally, is the smallest paycheck of the year for Teachers, and other School employees.
It's in the way they figger it.
Since they don't actually work in the Summer, their Pay is averaged out over the year...so they won't go 3 months without.
I have looked into it, and they (the Paymasters) use some pretty esoteric math to arrive at a sum that could just as easily be had from a simple equation...
Another example of Unecessary Complexity...no doubt designed to Confuse the Recipients...so they can't easily determine how they're getting screwed.
( Tit has receded, save the Nipple...but the Penis is hanging low, almost fully Erect...looks like it's almost ready...)

(is it hot, on here?)

Too, there was another trip to Magnolia/Houston that depleted our funds, and set us up to be short.
I'll be glad when all that sells...I'd rather not go back.
Since Gagoo got sick, last Summer, I've been to the Houston Area 8+ times, mostly since she died.
Estate Wrangling, etc.
I've run off with lota Tools...and Knick Knacks...and Furniture, etc etc....
Clearing out 56 years of our Occupation of Karen Switch.

I have wandered the Neigborhood...hung out at the Hill...into the (now) Jungle leading down towards my Old House....Far Field, now overgrown....trees that weren't even sprouts when I lived there, now 20 feet high.
Too much Memory!
...and Nervousmaking!...I don't leave the place, if I can help it, till it's time to head back.
Fucking Cops....I should probably sue them, and T=ball PD, and Jerry for starting all this Neurosis...
I was Hunted...Persecuted...on the say so of a rich town Elder, while his numerous Crimes went unacknowledged, let alone unpunished.
I hadn't realised how much it had effected me till this last year, with all the revelations via Facebook...reconnecting with folks from back then...especially Jerry's estranged Daughter....who was the excuse for setting the Dogs onto my scent.

7-28-2010

So, up at 4...still got the pain...so I get up, come out here and write for a coupla hours drinking coffee.....
And go back to bed.
At 7;30 am!
Had 2 vicodin, and atramodol, today.
The noon vic had some effect, finally.
2;30, now, and I'm out again to smoke the good shit.
Buncha doctors in California says it helps with artritis, fibro, and rls.
I know I got A & RLS, I'm pretty sure I have Fibromyalgia, as well.
Had Jury Duty, yeaterday...
Been called 4 times in my life...never been picked. And I'm one of 2 people I know who actually WANT to.
So, after they told me "no shorts! Go home and change!" (!?), I sat in an ancient, oaken pew.
Prosecutor seemed impressed, called me "Teacher's Pet"...it was all pretty goddamn boring.
But the sherriff, and Louis, we're milling around.
Doing the Cop Stare.
Louis at least talked to me...
I've had a problem with cops for a long time.(Thanks, Jerry!)...psychological, I know....due to persecution and assorted assholeishness by Tomball's Finest Fascists.
So, I tried to make light of it....act like i was confortable being bored outta my mind in a courtroom on a wooden bench w/ a coupla bored LEO's staring at me.
Didn't work, however.
I've been a nervous wreck, ever since.
Wiki says that Fibro can be triggered by stress....and hard benches...
I know that artur and RLS are.

My world sure is getting smaller!
And that sucks!
I had intended to , finally, get the permit for the ramp/porch/deck....but I hurt, and I have a real aversion to more Officialdom, today.
I did manage, after court yesterday, to mow trails through the Wild Lot, and help Tam and the boys pick pears....(20#, so far...still more on the tree...and peaches, too.)
I had also intended to can...or at least prepare to can....the pears, and a 1/2 bushel of apples.
The drugs normally prescribed for Rls and Fibro, are new...and laden with scary side effects.
Products of the general Land Rush-Style rush to market that began in the waning days of Clinton....deregulation.
(We've only seen the high prices, so far, as fallout from this...although, there have been some high-profile pharmacides...)
I am very leery of drugs whose admitted side effects are "Death" and "Suicide".
If I can ever get a steady supply of herb, I'll really try that.
I'm haphazard, now...from long habit of frugalness.From the literature, it seems one must be a regular pthead.
sigh.

There's engine noises...and I'm hurting.
Back to bed.

%%%%%
This friend of mine showed up,in the late afternoon.
Old Woman....in as bad a shape as I am, except she can't get enough Vic, it seems.
She runs out before she's due for a refill...
Pharmacist seems to think she's a junkie...
I disagree. She is compelled to work her ass off, even tho she can hardly stand....knees all fucked up, foot w/out meat, toes pointing every which way...FUBAR.
So I help her get over the hump. She always pays me back...and we're both nervous to be trading Sch3 drugs...stupid sytem.
Local Pharmacist is a Nazi...closeted queer, eternally scowling...
If I ever have difficulty w/ him, I guess I'll go elsewhere.
She says he's doing some kinda "Crackdown" on pain killers; refusing refills to decrepit old women, due to suspicion of "giving them away"....I wonder which Agency has been scrutinising him .(or if his self-loathing and meanness accounts for it.)
Gooberment, and the Medical priesthood, are so afraid that someone will catch a buzz, that they deny needed medication....put up all manner of hoops and barriers.
Chronic pain is epidemic...and the really effective drugs, with few side effects, are the ancient Opioids....
Of course, all of the literature says that folks who take such drugs for real pain are more than unlikely to become addicted...but science doesn't matter when it comes to "Moral" issues like drugs that can be addictive, or that might get ya high.
We must err on the side of debilitating Pain!
Part of this, I think, is another fine legacy of the puritans...Suffering is Good...and Deserved(since we're all nasty sinners!).
But what accounts for the Real reason is Big Pharma.
The Old Drugs are way past Patents....Pharma can't make enough Jack off them...so they feed the fires of ignorance and fear....(Junkies!They're coming for your Daughters, and your Property!)...and peddle relatively untested concoctions that still hold a Patent.
This is one of the reasons that Weed is still illegal, despite a preponderance of evidence against it remaining so.
Can't have folks 1 getting high, and 2. being treated effectively with an unpatentable drug, that anyone can grow.
It's fine to run that Noble Weed through a Factory, make it into a Patented Pill, that can be sold for $100 each....
And it's fine and dandy to Demonise the Plant...and anyone who uses it, with half baked Mythology.
Reefer Madness!Pot is Just Like PCP! Makes ya Rape Pillage and Murder!
And we allow it!
Fucking sheep!
I'm on what appears to be my 3rd day of pain.
There is no likly candidate on the weather side...no storms or fronts or Big Hairy Low Preesure Systems....
I haven't Toiled and Laboured enough to account for the way I feel...
Only thing I can think of is the half day in the courthouse...
The stress, the stairs, the uncomfortableness...my aversion to Cops.
sigh.
I get so frakking Bored!
The damn Vicodin is losing it's effectiveness,too...I have been taking it for, I think, 4 years....slowly, slowly increasing the dosage...so as to prolong it's effectiveness.
I've known, and Feared, that the day would come when it wouldn't work, any more.
I had hoped to have been repaired, by now...but that's over.
No Disability, no Surgery, for Me....I must Suffer.
Literature says that if I can quit taking it for 2 weeks, it'll regain a lot of effectiveness...
It'll hafta be 2 weeks w/out work, stress or weather.
Unlikely!
I am NOT looking forward to it, but I deem it necessary...

Library

This won't be posted this month (July 2010), due to lack of funds for 100 feet of Cat-25.
I am truly sorry for the large print, and as someone said, the black background..."making it hard to read"....The reason for these inconveniences are due to my own eyes, and my ancient machine.
I'm in my new Library/Lyceum/Amfortas' Cave....and, thus, am using my 98 Gateway, running Win98SE.
I have never purchased a computer, or a program, and would like to continue my program of non-monetary participation in WebWorld, for as long as possible.
I have 59 linear feet of shelf space (so far...) in what used to be an abandoned, floorless hole of a room,attached(a continuation, really) to/of the garage.
I hear they played Dice in here, 20 years ago.
Don't know what the original purpose of the room was.
I removed the accumulated junk, over the last year....the Chickens stayed in here for a time, last Winter....and, once I had finished the Smithy/Shop, floored this room...and started insulating(Hated Stuff!) and walling and building shelves, installing windows,and generally moving in.
I have a place, finally, for all my Books...as well as my Coffin Table (early 1800's Romanian Coffin), my Grandad's Desk(Pop), my Grandmother's Couch (Gagoo), and all the myriad knick-knacks and detritus that I keep to help me remember my life, and that of my Ancestors.
I've got all manner of Cool Things, from a chunk of the Berlin Wall, that my exWife picked up at it's sledgehammering in Berlin....to "girly pictures" of Polynesian and Micronesian girls, that my Grandad(Pop) saved, along w/ his letters and postcards from the Pacific, during the War.
About a million Fossils and Artifacts, a Duck Decoy, handmade by my Great Grandad("Daddy"(AE))....Hubcap from my Roach Coach Toronado (450ci), w/ the "Choose Death" bumper sticker attached...
Shit my Kids made for me...shit I made for my Mom.
And Pop's Elk Horns....
I have yet to finish the insulation, and the interior walls....and the electrical!, I'm running off extension cords!....but i figger that'll be a good cold weather gig.It's 100 degrees, and all I got is a coupla fans.

So...
I'm out here, drinking Scotch (JWR), smoking a Pipe, and another kind of Pipe....listening to Leon Redbone(Seduced!) and Cannonball Adderly and Miles Davis(Kind of Blue) and John Coltrane(Giant Steps).
I reckon I can get another 76 linear feet into this room, of bookshelf....and it won't be enough for the books I already have.
I'll have a busy Winter.
In the mean time, I have Deck , and a wheelchair ramp , to build...and the Cowboy Pool looks enticing(I just cleaned it)...
I have plenty of Scotch and Shiner (Liquor First!)(Prosit!)...and a little bit of the High Dollar Weed (they call it "Hydro", as in "Hydroponic", around here...but the sophistication is an unknown....not really worth the $$$$, but it does get one exceedingly High)....and the implied leave of my Beloved to drink... with the usual caveat of "not getting Crazy"...which is always problemattically prone to interpretation....
My Eldest is busy painting a bunch of Rocks, that I will hafta appear to "display" for awhile....
And there is a full-length mirror on the door into the "Garage", facing me.

My beard is , unintentionally, filling out.
(.I shave in the bathtub, and I havent taken a real bath in a month....showers!,dammit!)...and white, grey, mixed in with the red/auburn...My hair is ponytailed, so I can actually see myself, and I look gaunt....all those sleepless nights.
Aside from the beergut (which is turning into a Pot Belly), and the Raccoon-Circles under my eyes....I look pretty good, I guess...
Salt and Red Pepper.
It's alright, I have Coon Ass in me.
I'm Stoned, and have Transitioned...from Scotch and Water, to Shiner.
I like myself better w/ Long Hair.....

On "Taking Our Country Back."

One has to ask, "From Whom?!"
Who has run away with Our Country?

To watch Faux News, and listen to the rest of the Right, one would get the impression that there has been some kind of Coup.
(Funny, I felt the same way after the Supreme Court intervened in Bush v. Gore...but that's another tale.)
The Narrative from the Right seems to implicate quite a large, not so shadowy, collection of groups and individuals.
President Obama is right at the top....but "It Ain't Racism."...and I have a three foot, spiral horn growing out of my forehead.
This Center Right chief Executive seems to be the best us Liberals can hope for.
He's an extension, so far of Clinton...who wasn't a Liberal, either...rather a "Good Cop" to counter the over-the-top destructiveness of the long term Reagan Revolution.
Yet, we hear every day, for years now, that he's a Closet Muslim, Not A Citizen, a Socialist/Communist/Fascist,a Dictator, a Lackey of the UN Invasion Force,and some kind of Internationalist, One World Manchurian Candidate who is (Obviously.) Out To Destroy the country from Within.
(Some of these things applied to Lil George, but nobody, except Liberals, seemed to mind, then...)
Illegal Aliens are another group we hafta "Take Our Country Back" from, apparently.
I know I sure wish that i had the opportunity to pick Tomatoes or Strawberries every day for a pittance!
How dare they take that away from me!
Queers are another...and something called "Secular Humanists". Queers are busy, it seems, foisting their "Perverse Ideology" (The Gay Agenda) on helpless Soldiers...and Teachers...forcing the latter to teach the Gay in schools.(!?)
"Secular Humanists" sound like my kind of folks...but I can't seem to find any.
I have asked the folks that seem so worried about this Nefarious Cabal to forward me their address, but i haven't heard back...
Socialists seem to be the biggest, baddest threat.
I find it kind of funny, in a macabre sort of way, that the Big Bank Bailout, TARP(lol), was a Bush Creation...but Obama is given Credit.
My dictionary has a definition of Socialist, and the Democratic Party just doesn't seem to rise to that level...at least, to me...
Of course I'm a Soft Headed Liberal, so I could be mistaken.

So I hear all this Hollering and Gnashing of Teeth about Taking Our Country Back....and I just can't figure WHO we're trying to take it back from.If anybody had thought to ask me(which they did not) for a likely set of suspects for the Crime of Stealing the United States of America, I have a few in mind.
Giant Multinational Corporations would be at the very tippy top of my list...but the Right, even the "Little Guys" in the Tea Party, seem to really like Corporations...they keep wanting to "Set Them Free", or something.
The Obscenely Rich, the American version of the Aristocracy, is right up there at the top, too...but, again, the Right really, really likes Rich Folks.
Drug Warriors are another bunch I'd like to at least Curtail....add a little Common Sense, maybe even some Science, to the mix....
but that's Big Government the Right can get behind....
The Wisdom of placing so much Power in the hands of the Military Industrial Intelligence Complex ought to be revisited, too....that's, arguably, the Root of all the Big Shit That's Wrong With Us....but the Right Really Loves a War...and a Trillion Dollars a Year just ain't enough, it seems.

Want the Real Story?
The Right has never been all that thrilled with Democracy....except when they win.
When they are in charge, Democracy is Holy...as soon as their Fuck Ups, which are always Legion, get to be so obvious that even the American Sheeple have had enough, and run them out of office...well, suddenly Democracy is a Tool of the Devil.
What the Right wants, deep down...possibly so deep, that most of them don't even realise it...what they really want is an end to the Enlightenment Project.
Rich White Men in Charge, by Divine Right...and the rest of us toiling in their fields and factories, Fearful and Ignorant.
Those on the Right who don't fit the Profile of Rich and White and Male and In Charge, sincerely believe that They, Too, can Be Elite....no matter the evidence to the contrary.
There is a word that I like..."Palingenisis".That's Greek for "Again Birth" or "Rebirth"..it refers to, among other things, a Tool of ProtoFascists.
The Idea is to get the People to Pining for some Mythical Golden Age...when the Negroes Knew their Place, and all such Nonsense...."When things were green, and moving slow..."
Doesn't matter that this never happened...that it is entirely Fictional...it sells.
We are entering Very Dangerous Times.
With the recent Crazy over a gym near Ground Zero, and the escalating Eliminationist Rhetoric, I fear that the Civil War I've been worried about may be upon us...Muslims, Queers, Black and Brown and Red and Yellow Folks, Atheists and Liberals...Beware!
Orwell's 1984, Brave New World and a Handmaid's Tale are all just around the corner, if the Right gets it's way.

On Immigration

Sen. Kyle has just said that we should repeal the 14th Amendment.
that's the one that freed the Slaves, and says, in so many words,"If yer born here, ya belong here."
Right Wing Fraidy Cats are concerned that the Evil Brown Hordes from Mexico,etc are cynically using this to produce what they call "Anchor Babies".
According to the Right, these nefarious Brown People sneak across the border, take jobs that otherwise Real (white) Amerrcans would have, and...on purpose...have a mess o' chilluns....who are Citizens, by virtue of being born Here.
The cry is heard, in Texas, at least, that the Reconquista is Here!...
For one thing, I don't know how all this frothing rhetoric is NOT Racist...
For another, if the Right wants to put an end to "Illegal Immigration", they are looking in the wrong place.
For starters, they can look at NAFTA...which, besides it's intended effect of helping giant Multinational Corporations skirt environmental and labor laws, and led immediately to a kind of reverse immigration (of Jobs)...also, very handily, destroyed the local economies of Mexico.
Mexican Campesinos (farmers) were suddenly expected to compete with Giant Corporate Agribusiness.
The price of corn collapsed, and Mexican Campesinos headed north...to where there were jobs...ready and waiting.
That is where the Right should next place blame for all this "Invasion" and "eating out of our substance."(rolling of eyes)
What jobs are these poor folks flocking North to fill?
Corporate jobs.
Corporate Ag. Corporate Meat Processing.Corporate Mining. Corporate Construction.
The few stragglers , or the kin of those who came to work for Big Business, stand on corners, work in restaurants, toil in warehouses.
Just about all of them pay taxes.
It is well known (to those who care) that these folks have zero job security, zero representation, and zero chances of "getting ahead".
The Right should direct their Ire, their Righteous Indignation, their Spittle and Hate at Tyson, Cargill,et alia.
Big Ag is also, for whatever it's worth, the biggest recipient...by a long, long way...of Government handouts to "Farmers".
It ain't the little Family Farms that are getting the bulk of these Billions...it's Corporate Ag and the Already Rich.

But john Kyle won't say anything about all this.
It's so much easier to ride back into office on a wave of Racist Hatred for Brown People....who have been hurt by the shenanigans of Big Business
as much, if not more, as anyone else.

Back to the Garden...

A thread on LATOC, regarding Hippies, has me thinking....someone posted Joni Mitchell singing Woodstock, in Canada...Haunting.
So I'm thinking about the Eternal Struggle...the conflict between Dominators and Cooperators, between Freedom and Control...between the Hope and Despair.
I have always been an Enlightenment Fella...a Renaissance Man. I believe, implicitly, in the Perfectability of Mankind...that We have it within Us to be as Gods....
I still believe that We have this Potential....but, the actual achievement feels out of reach. The Forces of Darkness have been very busy, these last 40 years.
We have stopped thinking and reaching...the Machine has distracted us, confused us, so that we seem stuck on the treadmill.
The 60's represent a time when it all could have changed....but we let Them change the rules....dictate the Foundational Assumptions.
Take Economics.
We treat Economics, Money, as if they are some Natural Law...like Angular Momentum, or Gravity; Unchangeable,immutable.
But, they are Creations of the human Mind, and as such, are subject to our Collective Will.
This is used as an excuse to leave things alone that should be altered...like Poverty, famine, and the Gross Inequality that, increasingly, plagues us.
"We don't have the money"...we are told...for Universal Healthcare, Education, Housing...the whole Roddenberrian Star Trek Ideal.
We must sit idly by while millions starve in Africa, while millions succumb to Malaria, while millions suffer the Horrors of War...while millions go uneducated.
It is curious that we seem to have plenty of money for War and Corporate Profit...for the continued maintenance of the Extravigant Lifestyles of the Obscenely Rich.
All because we believe Money is a Force of Nature...Immutable.
I submit that it is not.
Money is a human creation....when I go apply for a loan at the local bank, the Banker I convince that I am worthy goes into the back, into the Inner Sanctum, and performs some mysterious ritual...and Money is thereby Created. Like Magic.
We Create Money every day.
Why can we not create money to educate the masses? To reorganise our Civilisation into a more sustainable and fair configuration?
"We cannot", we are told, "because it would violate the Inviolable Laws of Economics"...
We hear about "The Invisible Hand", the "Market", the "Profit Motive", etc. as if these were independant Entities, existing separately...without our creating them.
We are, again, Prisoners to our own Creations.
Lies, all of it.
The Lie serves to facilitate the Rape of the Planet, in the service of the Machine...to Subjugate Mankind in the Service of a tiny Minority who have fooled everyone else that they are Worthy....to convince all of Us that it Must Be Thus....TINA!
There was a time that this Lie was on the verge of being Exposed....
when a significant portion of Humanity was poised on the edge of realisation that It Didn't Have To Be This Way....
Instead of direct confrontation, this time, the Machine resorted to Subterfuge.
It coopted the music...made it into an "industry"...it absorbed the Media, the Publishing..Academia...the field of Ideas....and convinced just enough of the young folks of that time that, indeed, TINA....There Is No Alternative.
It is instructive that during this period, the loudest Voices for an Alternative were assassinated. MLK, RFK,JFK, John Lennon...many more were absorbed, or Ruined, by the Machine.
The entire, burgeoning Movement was Ruined...by anomalies such as Manson, Altamont, Patty Hearst.
I don't think this was accidental...indeed, it was much too convenient.
Add to this the introduction of the Meme, "Conspiracy Theory" to the Lexicon...meaning "Crazy"...and it really becomes clear.
The Machine found it's Popular Hero in Ronald Reagan...an actor and Corporate Whore who played on the Fears of those who were already unsettled by this Movement, and it's Implications.
The Fearful Majority rallied to the defense of the Machine...without comprehending it's Nature.
Now, 40 years later, America is hopelessly divided between the Stupid and the Hopeless...and Ruled comfortably by the Greedy Operators of the Machine...who are really just as much Slaves to it as the rest of us.
It appears, to me, at least, that the only Hope in changing all of this is to Hunker Down and wait for the Machine to collapse of it's own excess.
So Insidious is the Mind Poison...it cannot be countered by Reason. It has been inoculated, made Immune to any thoughts of an Alternative Way.
Mankind will only mature when we shake off the yoke of the Machine.
For that, a critical mass must Want To, and believe that it's possible.
Therein lies our only Hope.
'Dropping Out is a Revolutionary Act." (Wulf Zendik)

Yo Fumar.

4th of July,2010....Fell asleep at 7pm...so I woke up at 2am. It is the way of things.
The Barrio is wakeful this morning...probably due to partying...dogs are talking more than usual, more cars, doors and assorted human-related noise.
I'm thinking about Liberty, and smoking....and the overall complacency, mindlessness and slogan-slinging that accompanies this Holiday.
I smoke....for a good example....I have smoked cigarettes and pipes since I was 16.
I tried to quit a few times...then decided that I enjoyed it....and ya hafta die somehow....it does something therapeutic for me...and I don't really require the assent or permission of science, government or society to believe this, and be happy with it. It is my choice.
I have always been conscientious about bothering other folks with my cloud.
I installed an exhaust fan over my bed for winter, so there's ventilation. When out and about, I would be careful to refrain from sending clouds of smoke onto folks that were near me, wouldn't smoke in someone's house if they didn't, put the spent butts in my pocket, etc etc.
I remained in the "smoking section".
Therein lies the rub....there are no smoking sections, anymore.
20% of the population...of the People....smoke....and they are forced out into the rain, sleet or oppressive heat to do so.
Want a hotel room, while you're on the road? One can't hardly find a smoking room.
You are a Pariah....a Second Class Citizen.
And ya hafta pay dearly for the privilege.
Taxes are insane on Tobacco...State, Local and Federal.
Near as I can tell, taxes account for 50% of the cost of major brand ciggs.
This, we are told, goes to pay for healthcare.
(read the rest of my blog to appreciate the Irony, there...)

"But, it's bad for you..."...is the constant refrain, when a Smoker grows weary of this, and complains. As if that excuses the intrusion. Life, itself, is "bad for you"...everyone dies. The food we eat, the Rocket Fuel that is in the fat cells of every human on the planet, the Ozone and other assorted nasties that fill the air, the cars we drive...let alone the wars and other assorted Violence we visit on one another...all of these, and more, will kill you.
And if one dodges these, if one stays in a cocoon of safety, one will still expire, at some point.
The "it's bad for you"-thing is not good enough...it misses the Point.
The Point is, what gives You the Right to dictate what I do, if I ain't harming anyone else?
A very Loud Minority of Busy-Bodies has decided that there Shall Be No Place For Smokers....
And the remaining 75% of the population who doesn't smoke, does nothing to stop that tiny Minority from Lording it over the 20% who do.
It doesn't affect them, they are not Oppressed, or Taxed.
What to do?

I resolve, on this, the birthday of America, to smoke where I please, whether it's legal, or otherwise sanctioned, or not.
If I am not allowed to smoke anywhere, I shall smoke Everywhere.
One hears a lot of rhetoric about the Founding Fathers....
I wonder what Thomas Jefferson would do....he, after all, grew and smoked Tobacco...actually developed improved varieties....
WWTJD?
An Harming None, Do as thou Will...

Alex in my Room

I feel Hurricane Alex like it's in my room with me...like a pile of river rocks on each of my joints.
The eye of the storm(950mb) is more than 700 miles away, we're getting the outer bands...in addition to the Tropical Layer that was already here, and the weak cold frontal boundary that moved through a few days ago....5 days of rain.
5 days of Pain.
As usual with these things, I initially thought it was due to overwork...I've been pushing to get the Library floor in.
But the pain is so much more than can be accounted for with careful labor alone.
I have learned to pace myself...not to try to do too damn much.
And I think, visualise, before hand...so that I am extraordinarily efficient in my labor.
A slow, but steady, Glide...
I amaze everyone with what I get done....they don't see the consequences.
Wife and Children see them, but don't know the extent.
My jaw muscles and teeth hurt from the clenching...an unconscious mechanism for holding my carcass up.
2-3 hours of work...then all day in bed.
Yesterday, the first portion of Obamacare went into effect...High Risk Pools for Folks with preexisting Conditions.
One of the criteria for eligibility is to have been denied insurance in the last 6 months.
So I spent the day trying to apply for insurance....so I can be denied.
It'll cost $30, nonrefundable "filing fee", plus $170,refundable(eventually) first month's "premium".
This is for a "policy" with a $10,000 "deductible". (!)
Before they know of my numerous issues....which will be caveatted right out, of course.
The Government Insurance will cost, as near as I can tell, $600 per month.
This is an incredible improvement in that it will cover the Preexisting stuff...I can get a hip,etc.
But $600 is 2/3 of our monthly income.
There are provisions for the desperately poor....but there's a problem.
My Mom got some inheritance....around $15k, so far.
She put it all into my savings account, which has had $2 in it for 10 years....to hide it from her soon to be Ex Asshole.
There ain't gonna be a box to check for that situation...
Government will believe that it's all mine...ergo that I can easily afford $600 per month.
Sigh.
Can't win for losing.
Best option still remains Cuba.
When my Grandma's place sells, take $20,000 and make my way to Havana...by way of Mexico...
I intend to e-mail Michael Moore, today, for advice on how to do this.
I maintain that this is the Magical Free Market at work....best estimate I can get from the "local" hospital is upwards of $100,000 to do all that I need done.(they are not forthcoming on cost estimates).
Cuba, as near as I can tell, will charge $18,000....
What would Exxon do?

Five years I've been trying to navigate the American System...in increasing Pain, decreasing mobility...
And all for nothing.

NOP,6232010

I'm up at 4 AM, as usual...some kind of family curse. My Mom has it, my Grandma had it...my oldest Son has the beginnings of it.
Doesn't matter what I do, how late I stay up(rarely past 10 PM)...I wake at 4.
Sometimes earlier,very rarely later.
I have accepted this...it's better than 1:30.
There are benefits.
I have constructed a place to hang out, in the back yard, with this earliest of rising in mind.
Porch, fences, plantings and the placement of the Smithy, and other outbuildings to afford maximum privacy...
I prefer Nakedness...which is problamatic in Town.
The Cowboy Pool has been moved up close...skinny dipping at 4:30, by torchlight, or starlight....
Wake and Bake....(smoke a joint)...coffee and cigarettes...
This is My Time...the Familia is asleep.(Eldest is inconsistant with his manifestation of the Curse, as yet)
I read....red headlight...or write....or just sit, and listen to the dogs, cows...a donkey, somewhere to the east....
My ducks wake up at 4:30, rooster at 5:30, geese around 6:30...unless I venture out there and disturb them.
This is when I can Think.
The construction of Infrastructure is proceeding apace, consistent with the Vision I had during the first month or two here.
I Visualise it's continuance.
Of late, thanks to Facebook, and the resultant finding of me, I think about my Life...remember.
MAS is on my mind, this morning...I am to meet up with her in Dallas in a few weeks.
Lots of forgotten emotions,there.
Forgotten experiences.
Pain, heartbreak...and good times.
Now, with 20 years since I last saw her, I realise that I loved her.
Terribly and unrequitedly..
We were the best of friends, true...we shared all manner of deep, dark things...
But I always wanted more.
I was putty in her hands...to my later regret.
Should be an interesting trip to Dallas.

NOP,6222010

Naked on the back porch at 4 am...
Coffee, cigarettes and night-sounds.
Chillin' in the wheelchair I keep there.(I find them quite comfortable, as they are designed to be sat in full-time...(sigh.))
After much pain and suffering and effort,(and a lot of help from wife) the Smithy is almost finished....
all that's left is the East Wall and the electrical.
If I can procure a cheap crackle-box welder and the smaller Oxy-Acetylene tanks, I'll be set.
Much still needs to be retrieved from the Old House, but that can wait a little longer.
The Library is next...needs a floor, a couple of windows, and perhaps a French Door.
My Grandma's place has yielded a great pile of tools, furniture, and assorted knick-knacks pertaining to the History of Us....Pop's Elk Horns, souveneers from the south Pacific, during the War...and from their many travels...
Finally, I'll have a place for my Books, and all that stuff.
All that's left, as far as Infrastructure goes, is Insulating the House (waiting on the compressor from G-Ma's)...and building Drunk Uncle a Shack.
He's been in the Fire Hazard RV, last Fall and this Spring....he won't be back till next Spring, so I have plenty of time,I reckon.
So, it's Library, then all the moving (out of the Old Place)...then a long break from construction.
Which is much needed.
On Memorial Day, I was drunk, in the Cowboy Pool...there is, apparently, a different species of algae here, in Town....I slipped, and tore two muscles in my right thigh...tumbled into the mud. I was certain that I had finally broken my dead Femur...and since no one was answering my shouts and frantic phone calls, I called the ambulance....crawled/limped up to the house, shouting curses with every movement....(I'm very Tenacious)...and waited...
Adductor Magnus and Quadracept, Torn.
Wheelchair, full time, for 4-5 days....peeing in a damn jug(ugh!)...
I have resolved to stop drinking....
...which entails finding the Root of the Reason why I drink in the first place...
...Which is the purpose of this Rambling, anyway.....

Port Huron Statement, Revisited

"We regard men as infinitely precious and possessed of unfulfilled capacities for reason, freedom, and love. In affirming these principles we are aware of countering perhaps the dominant conceptions of man in the twentieth century: that he is a thing to be manipulated, and that he is inherently incapable of directing his own affairs. We oppose the depersonalization that reduces human beings to the status of things -- if anything, the brutalities of the twentieth century teach that means and ends are intimately related, that vague appeals to "posterity" cannot justify the mutilations of the present. We oppose, too, the doctrine of human incompetence because it rests essentially on the modern fact that men have been "competently" manipulated into incompetence -- we see little reason why men cannot meet with increasing skill the complexities and responsibilities of their situation, if society is organized not for minority, but for majority, participation in decision-making. Men have unrealized potential for self-cultivation, self-direction, self-understanding, and creativity. It is this potential that we regard as crucial and to which we appeal, not to the human potentiality for violence, unreason, and submission to authority. The goal of man and society should be human independence: a concern not with image of popularity but with finding a meaning in life that is personally authentic: a quality of mind not compulsively driven by a sense of powerlessness, nor one which unthinkingly adopts status values, nor one which represses all threats to its habits, but one which has full, spontaneous access to present and past experiences, one which easily unites the fragmented parts of personal history, one which openly faces problems which are troubling and unresolved: one with an intuitive awareness of possibilities, an active sense of curiosity, an ability and willingness to learn.
This kind of independence does not mean egoistic individualism -- the object is not to have one's way so much as it is to have a way that is one's own. Nor do we deify man -- we merely have faith in his potential.
"-from the Port Huron Statement,SDS,1962

I started here: http://www.alternet.org/story/147109/poor_americans_are_drowning_where_are_the_lifeboats?page=entire
...and wandered around a bit, on Wiki and such....till I ended up here:
http://coursesa.matrix.msu.edu/~hst306/documents/huron.html

I have, in my time, kind of naturally been drawn to the Left....it just fit with my personality, my sense of self and the obvious, if intuitive, Truth I felt in the things of the Left.
I didn't get any of this from the Right...there was always something missing...a wall that one would run up against, beyond which one was supposed to suspend critique...much like religion. I instinctively rejected Orthodoxy.
Today, I am astounded that, after a lifetime of study, I have only now discovered this document. ...which, at first glance, articulates the stance I've been flailing at for 30 years.

How has this eluded me? Has it been so well hidden? Or was I a victim, despite my best efforts, of the Right Wing's propaganda campaign against All Things Left?
I remember reading about SDS, a few times, when learning about the 60's...but there was no depth to the information I found. In retrospect, I dismissed them...along with the Weather Underground and Leary's Bunch, as Utopian Radicals, whose ideas were cool, but who lacked appreciation for Reality.
Turns out, this is what the Right has been preaching all along...
Through my wife's job, I can access current History and Social Studies books that our local High School is using, both currently and in the recent past (going back to 1985,or so). SDS is given passing mention, and (sure enough) is implied to be of the same importance and ilk as Manson and the Weathermen. It is implied that one equals the other, with no nuance.
Overall, the Sixties are equated with Drugs, in their Modern Context...and the implication is that the entire 60's Movement was a Failed One...losing out to the Rational, Free market, Radical Traditionalism of the New Right.
This document is nowhere mentioned, let alone quoted.

I believe it should be read and disseminated far and wide...if our institutions are too compromised by the prevailing Right Wing Ideology to do so, then we must.
The Right won the Culture Wars....as evidenced by the recent Text Book Mullah's activities in Texas, as well as the continued (and rediculous) association of "Liberal" with "Soft Headed," and the looking down the nose, with paternalistic disdain, at anything that would contradict the Conventional Wisdom.

The mere fact that this document has been so well obscured, even to someone like me, is an indicator, perhaps, to it's Power....and the power of the Dominant Right to dictate what is "important", even without appearing to do so.
Witness the history Channel, PBS, etc...every "documentary" I've seen regarding the 60's ends with a lamentation about Manson, Altamont, Heroin and Aids...as if these were the inevitable result of the behaviour and Ideals of the 60's.
In fact, the Ideals of the 60's are entirely glossed over, in favor of manner of dress, Free Love and, of course, Music.
The History of this era is a commodified shadow, an eviscerated carcass...devoid of consideration, save by escapists and malcontents.
Is it any wonder that the state of the world, for all our technological wizardry , and our perceived affluence, the state of the world hasn't changed...and that this document is as relevant now, as it was then?
The "Enemies" have, somewhat, changed...we now are to fear "Terrorists", instead of the Evil Empire (which collapsed under it's own rusty, ossified weight); "Communists", and"Socialists", are still unthinkingly lumped together...but joined, now, by Queers, Atheists, and Brown People...
Nuance, Grey Areas, are still suspect...as is Intellectualism, Academia and Thought, in general.
While Environmental concepts are mouthed and, perhaps, embraced in principal...the Economic Orthodoxy prevents any real Alternatives to the current Paradigm....
The role of the Corporation, in which Family I include Think Tanks and Foundations. has grown exponentially...consolidating and expanding it's Power...over not just the physical aspects, but the minds and emotions of it's subjects.
Everything is for Sale!, and subject to crass manipulation...

It is high time for what's left of the Left in this country and world, to revisit foundational documents such as this...and begin to secede, mentally, emotionally, philosophically and physically, from the Dominant Paradigm...which has left a trail of destruction and sadness in it's wake, while enriching so few.
The Left has been parasitized by "Centrists".
A New New Left must open it's eyes, and stand up...for if the Right's Machine is allowed to continue, Darkness can only follow.

Memory

I recently learned, after 20 years, that I had a head injury….in addition to all the other injuries from my Big Wreck.
I have always known that the Wreck marked a large blank spot in my memory...a dividing line, kind of....I have no memory of the wreck itself, or of the few days on either side of it.All I know about it is what I pieced together, afterwards. I attributed this to the trauma, and then the morphine haze I woke up in....
Turns out that at first, the EMTs were less concerned with my legs than I had thought.
They were worried about the cloud on the X-ray of my head...right around the base of my skull, where it attaches to the spine. :"Water on the Brain", they called it...
It went away by the time I was done with the helicopter ride from Tomball to Hermann....
I'm wondering , now, just how much of my memory haze....before, and immediately after the wreck....is due to this.
With my discovery of Facebook....and the resultant end of my Exile...I've been remembering many things I had forgotten. Mostly things before the wreck...a few things from after.
For a few years after, I had lost my mind.(again, how much is due to head trauma?)
I had this almost instinctual Urge to "Suck the Marrow Out of Life."...this is how I learned to walk so quickly....(that Tenacity is still very much a part of me.)
I drank, ran around looking for Experience....jumped out on the Road.
I call this period my Wild Years....and I only remember a broad outline, punctuated by specifics.Drink and Drugs and a kind of Mania...I was channeling Jack Kerouac and Neal Cassady.
I am sure that some of this was psychological. The whole Cop Experience, the very real sense of being unwelcome at home and around town...of wanting so badly to leave, but being unable to...having nowhere to go....all this played a part in this craziness, I'm certain.
But before the wreck?
I haven't remembered, or even realised that I didn't remember, so many things.
Now, with all these folks "finding" me, online...it's coming back....and, coupled with this new awareness of the head trauma...I'm really starting to wonder.
I was a Crazy Person!
I have always known this...it's just confirmation, really...but Damn!
Add Madman to my Resume, I guess...
There are worse things.

Letter to "My" Congresscritter...

Howdy,
I just came across this:http://www.ftcldf.org/litigation/ey100426--ds%20mtd%20memo%20in%20support.pdf

...regarding Raw Milk.I've heard of this before, and while I'm not involved in the buying or selling of Raw Milk, I certainly understand the concerns of the folks who are.
I grow as much of my own food as I can manage.
This is due to economics, as well as a certain distrust of Big Ag.I have been involved in Organic Farming since before there was a name for it...and I was a Chef for many years. I have learned a lot about food, in my time, from farm to plate.
In reading the FDA's response to these folks, I am concerned about the agency's assertions that I have no right to contract, that I have no fundamental right to my own health and it's maintenance, and that I have no right to eat what I want.
For all the hollering, of late, about Big Government, one would think that Republicans would be all over this.
It is my learned opinion that this case is NOT about the health of the citizenry, or the healthfulness (or lack thereof) of Raw Milk...this is obviously Big Ag, specifically Big Milk, using the Government to stamp out competition(which is one of the hallmarks of that Free Market we hear so much about).
The same thing happened with the usurpation of the Organic Movement by Big Ag.
The Implications of this argument, by the FDA, are worrisome. They would make criminals of every Backyard Gardener, every Homesteader, every Small Farmer.
...and all for the benefit of Big Ag.
I ran into the same type of BS when I attempted to sell my eggs...sell my surplus veggies...even have my goats butchered, for my own consumption.
The Regulations on such things are needlessly burdensome on the little guys, and to the benefit of large Agribusiness.
Please look into it.
I know you have Agribusinesses among your constituency...Big Ag. The recent Supreme Court Ruling notwithstanding, the backyard gardeners, Homesteaders and anyone who wants to provide for their own sustenance are among your constituency, as well.
If the efforts of Big Ag succeed, they will have control of our food supply....and we will all be beholden to Corporations for the most basic Human Needs.
I will gladly be a criminal to stand in the way of such a usurpation.
Thanks, Josef D. Pinter.
Mason, Texas

Satanic Cult Scare! (run away!!!)

A long time ago, in a small town in Texas, everyone went crazy.
The people of this town were, for the most part, affluent, God-fearing, traditionalist folks.
They went to work, went to church, went to the football games, went to vote and pretty much did what everybody else was doing.
Some of their kids, however, were not satisfied with this narrow world, this proscribed field of possibility.
They rebelled….mostly in superficial ways…such as different drugs than their parents, different modes of dress and appearance, different likes and different opinions on big, important things like politics, religion, sex and freedom.
This was a shock to the parents, and other adults of this small town. There was much fear…and much laying of blame. The targets of this blame-laying were the usual suspects.
Rock and Roll was among them, as it was thought to be an instrument of the Devil…engendering loose morality, sexual excess and antisocial behaviour.
Drugs were there, on the block…for much the same reasons.
But the biggest culprit in the Rebellion of Youth was insufficient religious instruction….specifically, insufficient fear of the Christian God, and Love for His Son, Jesus.
The Town began a Crusade of Revivals, Youth Groups, Hay Rides, and Summer Camps. There were assemblies called in the schools, where the evils of drugs and the importance of abstinence were hammered home.
Gangs of Prayer Warriors deployed to Hangouts and the Drag, where young folks could be found on a given Saturday night….to bring the Good News to these kids, lest they fall into Satan's clutches.
And it was all for naught.
Rock and Roll still played, drugs were done, sex was performed, and youthful fashion marched further and further away from the parents idea of good and proper.

Then, at the beginning of the school year, a new kid came around. He was from California and wore his rebellion on his sleeve…he had an earring!, and a trenchcoat, and a Devil may care attitude that really worried the adults.
His charisma and West coast charm quickly found him a small coterie of friends, and a girlfriend.
The Californian, and his crew, did all the things the rest of the kids were doing….but the most important thing they did was go and drink beer and wine-coolers in a local cemetery, at night.
This was nothing unusual, what with the cops and Jesus Freaks that were everywhere else….indeed, many of the adults had done the same thing, in their time.
One night, in the cemetery, the Californian decided to shock one of the girls that was there.
He "performed" a séance.
It was all a joke…merely something to do…but the girl was freaked out.
Apparently, she was from a particularly religious family, and thus believed in Demons and Witchcraft.
Word soon spread around town that there was a Satanic Cult hereabouts….and that they had evil designs on the town.
Rumors flew! The Cult was everywhere! They were out for blood!
There were stories of Human Sacrifice, and of Blood Drinking, and of Black Mass being performed at cemeteries. His girlfriend was rumored to be pregnant, carrying the Devil's Child, who would be sacrificed on the football field on Homecoming, which so happened to fall, that year, on the same weekend as Halloween…Samhain in the Satanist's parlance.
Cops ran around everywhere, chasing down reports of vandalism and Rituals.
Church folks prayed and held Vigils and rallies.
Hippies, Stoners, Goths and Punks were chased down and beaten…just in case.
The Principal of the school called an assembly, with the Chief of Police behind him, calling for kids to report Suspicious Activity, to Be Careful, and for any Cult Members present in the audience to Cease and Desist!

There was a Vibratory quality to the atmosphere on the afternoon and evening of Homecoming.
Vigilance! Watchfulness! Apprehension!
Would the omnipresent Prayer work to fend off the Devil and his minions?
Or would Satan's Army triumph?...perhaps as punishment for the town's lack of Faith…
For allowing such sinful behaviour to go on so blatantly for so long.

It was a near-Full Moon, as well….

Nothing happened, at all.

All the fear and insanity and oppression and warnings were over something that didn't exist…and never had existed.
But that fact didn't lessen the general feeling that the Town had dodged a bullet…that the Prayers had, indeed, worked. God had placed His shielding Hand over the Town, and the Forces of Darkness had been defeated.

I don't know what happened to the Californian…I reckon he was encouraged to switch to a different school.
Kids in the town still did drugs, and listened to music and had all manner of sex.
The only things that really changed were that the Oppression got more severe, the cops got more assholeish, and the schools got more zero-tolerance.

This really happened.
I was there.
This is the best of my recollection.

A letter to a Reckless Cowboy.

Dear Governor Good Hair,
I noticed on yor little website (that we are paying for) that you are at War with the EPA.
Seems yor' rhetoric has blinded you to the reality.
Your site says:"Gov. Rick Perry today was joined by local government and business leaders to decry

Washington's latest attempt to extend federal control over the state's authority, an action that would undermine

Texas’ successful clean air programs and cost the state thousands of jobs. Last week, the Environmental

Protection Agency (EPA) announced its efforts to take over Texas’ federally delegated, successful Title V

permitting program and replace it with a less effective Washington-based, bureaucratic led, command and

control mandate. "
This is ludicrous, on many levels.
One, where is your evidence for the claim that Texas' Environmental Programs are working?
Have you ever been to Houston?
I see that you were in Deer Park when you announced this....did you not notice the smell?
Did you not see the plumes all over that whole area from the refineries and chemical plants?
Here, in the Reality Based Community, it is well known that Texas lags behind everybody else in Air Quality,

and most of the other Environmental things.
Your Pro Corporate Extremism is showing....might want to look to that.
Second, do you really, really think that what the Mullahs Don and Cynthia (SBOE) have been up to is good for

Texas?
We already fall far behind the rest of the country in Education....we are already a laughing stock.
I guess since "everything's bigger in Texas", we should be the biggest idiots, as well?
Third, I see that you're having knee surgery....must be nice.
Who's paying for it? Us taxpayers, or do you have some Caddilac Plan from whenever it was you last had a

(non-government) job?
I am among the 5 million, or so, Texans who cannot get adequate healthcare. Is your contempt for us so great ?
Are Po Folks insufficiently American?
I saw that you are refusing to have a High Risk Insurance Pool, for folks like me that the Industry has left out in

the cold.
How is such refusal good for Texas?
Who's side are you on?!
Is the money that good from your Corporate Buddies?
On your site, regarding healthcare..."The availability of affordable, quality medical care is important to all

Texans. Governor Perry has led efforts to keep doctors and other health care professionals in the exam room

instead of in the courtroom fighting frivolous lawsuits. He has also promoted reforms to the small employer

health insurance market, and conveyed a vision for reducing the number of uninsured Texans by restructuring

federal Medicaid funding to gain flexibility and optimize investments in health care. This reduces reliance on

expensive emergency room visits for non-emergent care, and makes it easier for the working poor to buy into

employer-sponsored health coverage. "
"Frivolous Lawsuits" are NOT the damned problem!
Hyperinflation and the resulting lack of access IS!
That whole paragraph is nothing but you channelling Karl Rove.
Get out of your Mansion...visit your people....and not just your filthy rich buddies.
It'll cost upwards of $100,000 to fix me so I can work again.
Insurance won't touch me.Your Medicaid System won't take me (my wife makes more than $230 per month)
The Federal Disability/SSI won't touch me, I'm told, because I "can be fixed" (!?)
I could go on and on, but I'm hurting, and I can't sit up any more tonight....and I doubt this will have any

impact, anyway.
Enjoy your surgery.
I'll be wishing 1/16th of the pain I feel every day....on you.